Irrational Fear

It's day 28 of the 30 Day Challenge (it's been way past 30 days since I started, but whatever) and today I am supposed to post something that I am afraid of. Honestly, I can't really think of anything that I fear, or anything that really makes me anxious or nervous. There are plenty of things like spiders and snakes that I don't necessarily love, but I'm not scared of them either.

I do, however, have a few random, completely irrational fears that are entertaining, so I figured I'd share one of those instead.

I wasn't exactly sure what to Google to try to get a picture for today, so I opted for "foot, door" and this is what I got, and it's the best that I can do to capture what I need. You're probably wondering what this picture could have to do with a fear. What could possibly be so scary about walking through a door? More than you might think.

For as long as I can remember, I have had this weird fear about doors opening in on my feet. So, it ain't no thing to walk through a door that opens away from me, it's when it opens towards me that I curl my toes up (whether they are exposed or not), out of fear of my toes getting hit by the door, and thus getting hurt. Weird, I know, but it is what it is.

401st Post

Apparently this is my 401st post and that seems significant. How shall I celebrate? By posting a picture of not just one family member, but the whole crew. I mean, why not go above and beyond with today's challenge on such an important occasion?

Well, there we are, the whole gang: brothers, grandparents, mom, aunt, uncle, my cousin Barbie, and even Fiona the Westie. This is this past Thanksgiving at Barbie's house, which is pretty much our Thanksgiving tradition and has been for many years now :)

My Coaching Philosophy

Below is the reason why I would never coach anything other than Pre-K sports:

A post-game conversation with Coach Brooke and the Pineapples:

Pineapple 1: "Did we win?"
Me: "Did you have fun?"
Pineapple 1: "Yes"
Me: "Then you won!"
Pineapple 1 (looking to the other players): "If we had fun, we won!"
Pineapples: YAY!!!!

You've Got Mail

I have always loved getting mail, real mail, the kind that requires a stamp and a truck ride and a walk to the mailbox. Getting the mail was always my job as a kid (ok, and as a teenager) and God help the sibling who ever had the idea to do that job for me. In fact, I still love getting the mail. Although, the older I get and with electronic communication overtaking the world, it happens much less frequently than it once did.

What I love about mail, and any letter or note to be honest (it doesn't necessarily have to be delivered by the United States Postal Service), is that it takes time to write a letter. There is a certain quality of preparation and work that goes into a letter. And I feel like, since writing things down makes them more real, there is an added level of carefulness and intentionality in the words written down. All of which combines to make a letter--a little memory that you can hold and keep for as long as you wish. It goes without saying, that any letter not possessing the above qualities, doesn't quite hold the same weight in my mind.

That being said, the topic of today's challenge is something that means a lot to you, and for that I choose getting letters. Thanks to some amazing friends and family, over the years I've developed quite a collection of letters and notes that have brought boatloads of encouragement to me and have been a reminder of how God has blessed me with some really amazing relationships in my life. Those who know me at all, know I don't always "do emotions" very well, so letters (both writing and receiving) is a great way for me to deal with that little hiccup :)

A Few of My Favorite Things

I don't cook often. I mean, I make food to eat, but not much that's very ambitious. This meal was not ambitious at all, but it did require more effort than I usually exert. Today I felt like tacos and sweet tea, so that's what I made. And that's a picture from my day. Day 25 done.

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If I Could Change The World

Ahh. 30 Day Challenge--Day 24: Something You Wish You Could Change.

I have to admit, my first three thoughts around this challenge involved thinking about song lyrics involving the word "change." Namely, "Change The World" by Eric Clapton, "Changes" by Tupac, and "Changes" by David Bowie. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my brain works.

But back to the challenge. What would I change? That's a big question, but I think I've got it, and I'm gonna go deep here, so hang on.

I would change the constant barrage of lies, both explicit and self-imposed, that are fed to young girls and women. I would change the constant pressure to be prettier, skinnier, smarter, stupider, more athletic, funnier, more successful, in need of approval, and whatever else a girl could struggle with. I would change the media's glorification of sex and the lie that a girl isn't complete unless she's attached to some boy. I would change the grip Satan has on the heart of so many girls and women who beat themselves up over these very things and who just don't understand that God made them just the way they are. Yeah, that's a lot to change, but the world would be a better place without all that.

Quote of the Day

In regards to Scotty's performance on American Idol:

"It's like if George Bush got drunk at a karaoke bar." - Brian Spanner

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Little Women

So, I feel a little cheated that I never committed to reading Little Women when I was younger and that I had to discover it's beauty as an adult. That being said, I love that I was still able to get lost in the story the same way I used to get lost in books as a kid.

Little Women is an amazing story about family, growing up, friendship, love, loss, heartache, sisterhood, motherhood and so much more. I laughed, I cried, and if I ever have daughters some day I have ever intention of exposing them to this book early on.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

First off, I totally made quote of the day on my friend Katie's blog yesterday. She's awesome and you should read her blog. I'm thankful for Katie because together we could solve the world's drama if people would just listen to us :)

Thinking about today's challenge, something you wish you were better at, left me completely stumped because I'm just so awesome at everything.

HA! Not hardly.

This challenge is actually pretty easy to answer. I LOVE music. I love to listen to it, dance to it, and belt it out anytime the moment strikes (which is quite often). Unfortunately for me (and those who have to be around me), the Lord did not bless me with much musical ability. I don't play an instrument and I can't really sing, so I just have to settle for being an appreciator of music, despite my desire to be a rock star.

Forget You

I think anyone could easily put down middle school as the answer for today's challenge, something you'd like to forget, and be totally serious about it. I mean, let's be real, those are no one's shining years, and I know that's especially true for me. BUT since that would be such an obvious answer...I'll try again.

It was actually really difficult to think about something that I would completely want to erase from my memory. I mean, even in regards to middle school, if nothing else it makes me really thankful that God grew me up. However, in the interest of the challenge, I've posted this:


You might look at this picture and wonder why I would possibly want to forget what looks like such a great time? You might also wonder when the last time I had taken a shower was, but that's neither here nor there. Truth be told, this is actually a picture from a very hilarious night (and perhaps the only photographic proof of Jordan ever trying to dance). However, just a few short days after this picture was taken, life was going to explode and then continue to suck it up for a few months. That would be the summer of 2006.

That summer was terrible for a lot of reasons. One, the summer before was so amazing everything would pale in comparison. Two, we implemented a new leadership structure but forgot to clarify a lot of things and build in a support structure. We had a handful of sketch staff that brought a bad vibe into camp, poor choices made all around (myself included), and just an overall lack of spiritual maturity, leadership, and development going on. Not to mention, we had our ACA inspection that year, which is just stressful. A lot of tears and frustration were the result of that summer.

No summer at camp is ever perfect, but this one wasn't even close. I find it pretty funny that when we all hang out and reminisce about summers gone by, we all just pretend like 06 never happened..and that's ok.

In other news, I just thought this next picture was funny and I'd willingly forget the taste of Vita Malt...talk about yucko!

I'd Go To A Land Down Under

Today's challenge, post a picture of somewhere you'd love to travel, was a no brainer. There has been one place I've wanted to go since I was 11 and it's the one place that I want to make sure I spend some time in before I leave this world and that's Australia.


The fascination with Australia began with a camp counselor I had when I was 11 who was from Australia. I thought she was amazing and she talked about the place so much that I became totally hooked. It grew with Road Rules Australia, which in my opinion was the best season of the show. Then, of course, came Heath Ledger, and the rest is just history. Oh, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that Our Lips Are Sealed also helped my fascination a bit.

I really don't have any plan for when I do get around to visiting some day other than just see as much of the country/continent as possible...and soak up some major sunshine :)

I Don't Have Anything to Say

So today's challenge was to post a picture of yourself as a kid. Well, this is literally the ONLY picture I could post because all of my old pictures are still in Myrtle Beach and even if I had them, I don't have anyway to scan them and post them. So instead, I stole this from my cousin who had it on her facebook.

And, that's really all I have to say. I have no clue where this picture was taken and I have no memory whatsoever of what was going on. I would say I'm like 3 or 4 and I labeled the people I know. And that's that.

When I Grow Up

I'll preface this entry by stating that a blog entry about my biggest insecurity is definitely a stretch for someone who hates being vulnerable and is terrible with emotions, but I'll do my best to explain myself coherently. I had a hard time even trying to come up with a visual representation for Day 18's challenge, but this is what I settled on so we'll make it work (and it's a book by Weird Al, how awesome is that).

Given the picture above, one might easily assume that my biggest insecurity has to do with what I will do with my life in terms of a job and what the future holds for me professionally. Well, that would be wrong. I don't really have any sort of long term plan or goal in terms of my job simply because as long as I'm happy in the job I'm doing (which I currently am) that's what I'll do and I'll move on when that changes. I know that philosophy doesn't jive with everyone, but it is what it is and the future really isn't up to me anyways.

What I AM really insecure about is whether or not I'll actually ever fully leverage my life, professionally and otherwise, for the gospel. Or to put it another way, find my purpose and passion and just go all out for it. Here's the thing...I don't really have a niche. I'm decent at plenty of things, but there's never been one thing I've been a rockstar at (and I am NOT saying that to try to get some sort of compliment). I guess I'm just afraid I'll never understand the exact gifts God's given me and find a way to use them in a way that gives personal fulfillment and kingdom purpose.

Well, now I'm just as worn out as a lady can get about talking about my feelings, so I'm gonna go get a cookie.

Everybody's on the Spectrum

About this time last year, I was kind of hating my life, professionally speaking. Among many contributing factors, was the fact that I was supposed to be getting ready to run a summer camp that I knew NOTHING about and couldn't even fake it with passion or excitement. I had never worked specifically with children with special needs before and I had never felt particularly called to serve that population. I was incredibly overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy (and ignorance, to be honest) and burning the candle at both ends with other work related things that I didn't even want to think about camp.

It wasn't until about week 6 (of 8) that it all finally clicked for me, and as He tends to do, God changed my heart pretty drastically.

It finally hit me just how important the work I was doing was to the families we served. I realized that it really wasn't about having all of the knowledge or skills (which are helpful, yes, but not the most important), but more about learning how to love kids for exactly who they are. It doesn't matter if they might not be able to talk, or if they head butt you right in the chin and you think your jaw is broken, or if you have to chase them across the upper fields while they're stark naked, or if they curse you out using names of foods. It does matter that they are loved and accepted, that we dance and laugh a lot, that we foster friendships, that we help kids discover words, and that we end every single day with the YMCA song.

Needless to say, Camp G.R.A.C.E. has been a pretty important part of my life since then and as this summer is approaching, I am oozing with excitement. I cannot wait to be back into camp mode and spend time with all of my AMAZING kids.

God is really funny about how He develops relationships.

I used to not like the girl in this picture so much. When I first met her, I thought she was an obnoxious 16 year old (which she was, to be honest) and I told her so (probably not my nicest moment ever). I never would have thought that a couple of years later she would become one of my dearest friends and favorite people in the whole world.

When Brittany came to Winthrop my senior year, I was pretty worried I wouldn't be able to handle her being around all the time. To say she is high energy is an understatement, and that's just exhausting to a person like me. Despite my feelings towards her, Brittany still wanted to be my friend, which is a huge testament to the type of person she is- loving and welcoming. In fact, she enlisted me as her "life mentor" (her words, not mine) and we started meeting on a weekly basis and the rest is history.

Brittany is one of the most loving people I know. She has a million friends and really does care about them. She makes you feel like you're awesome even when you're not and the way she has grown in her relationship with the Lord over the past few years is truly an inspiration to me.

Brittany is still kind of crazy and she practically knocks me over every time I see her, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Halfway There

It's day 15 of the 30 day blog challenge, which means I'm halfway done. To be honest, it is kind of sad because, while none of the challenges have been especially life altering, I've enjoyed having to take a few minutes out of my day to think specifically about the challenge at hand.

Today's challenge is something you want to do before you die. I've never really sat down and made a "bucket list" (although I think it's a great idea), so I don't really have a readily available list of things to choose from for today, which is almost harder than having to narrow down options. I have several places I'd like to go (which I think is a later challenge), but only one thing really came to mind that I feel like I need to do before I die, and that's write a book.

I attempted writing my first book in the 3rd grade, dabbled in a few other writing ventures in middle and high school, but my freshman year in Psych 101 I got the inspiration for the book I actually want to write. It spawned from learning about a rare condition called Prosopagnosia, which is a long word for an inability to recognize faces. Despite all of the warnings I received about how psychology would challenge my faith, it never did anything but point out ever so clearly the human condition and man's need for God. All that to say, I'd like the book to be about factors in life/the world that keep us from recognizing the face of God. There's a book in that thought somewhere, I'm sure of it.

My Life Would Suck Without...

...Katie Simmons. She's amazing and we're going camping in April and I cannot wait. Katie and I crossed paths quite randomly about a month into freshman year at Winthrop. We lived on the same hall in the Nance and she was mutual friends with the girl across the hall who knocked on my door one Saturday morning and asked if I'd want to be roommates (Maggie Carnes). So as Maggie and I were moving into our room, Katie and Erica helped out and we were more or less inseparable for four years.

Basically, Katie and I make a pretty dynamic duo. We led an awesome "eat-vangelism" seminar for Cru, helped the Nance dance during flag football season, dressed up like crazy people and ran around campus in the middle of the night, fulfilled intense cheeseburger cravings on random afternoons, decided we'd run in March, made many a resolution to stop being sarcastic and failed horribly, laughed a lot, talked about Jesus a lot, and decided that the world would overall be better if people listened to us. She's just a person that I love to spend time with and I get sort of miserable when I go too long without getting a KTS fix. Here's to you, Lil Katie :)

the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down...

...and I believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found.

It would have been far too easy, not to mention obvious, to select Billy Joel or Hanson as the subject of today's challenge post: a picture of your favorite band or artist. And although my love for both is rooted deeply into my childhood, I'm going to go with an artist that not only satisfies my pallet musically, but also is good for my soul, and yours too if you give him a listen. So here it goes, I present you with: Andrew Peterson (in illustrated form, done by my friend Stephen Crotts).


I was first introduced to Andrew Peterson my freshman year of college by my friend Rique. We were driving around in his car, as we did in those days, and he stopped and wanted me to listen the song "Silence of God." Secretly, I think he wanted me to cry because I had told him prior to this that I wasn't much of a crier, and while I didn't cry that night, Andy Pete has moved me to tears many a time since then. After that night, I was completely hooked and have been a huge fan ever since. I love the way that he weaves the stories of scripture into his music and the honesty with which he writes. Not to mention, his is the ONLY Christmas album that should EVER be played out of season because it's all about Jesus and that's good all year long. Check him out, you won't regret it.

All You Need Is Love

30 Day Challenge (Day 12): A Picture of Something You Love

Sweet,sweet sunshine.

It's funny to be writing about how much I LOVE sunshine, when it's such an incredibly gray and rainy day outside. But then again, if we didn't have gray and rainy days, I wouldn't have a chance to remember how much I love the sun and to be thankful for it when it's here.

I love the sunshine for many reasons: it puts people in a good mood, it keeps things warm, it makes things look prettier, it goes into my skin and makes me look less pasty, and when it shines through the clouds there just isn't a doubt in my mind that something much bigger than myself has something to do with it.

I don't discriminate in my love for the sun either. I'll take it as a sunrise (ha, like the 2 times in my life I've been awake for that) or a sunset, as seen below...


Or I'll take it on a gorgeous beach...


Or driving in my car with the sunroof open, reading a book on a blanket, taking a walk, hanging out with friends on the lawn, whatever. As long as I get to be in it, I'm good.

And, if all else fails and there just isn't sunshine to be had, I have a whole playlist of music that makes me feel like I'm in the sun, so I'm covered.

Yucko

So today's challenge is to post a picture of something you hate. Hate is a pretty strong word, but I would say I have pretty strong feelings towards today's subject.

Feet. They are nasty. I like my feet alright and I like baby feet and I like being barefoot, but other than that keep your gross, yucko feet to yourself. And that's just all I have to say about that.

These are not my feet. I found them on google.

That's Messed Up

Today's challenge is to post a picture of the person you do the most messed up stuff with. That's a very odd way to phrase the challenge, but I'll take it nonetheless.

Two people popped into my mind for this one, and I'll indulge in breaking the rules tonight because I don't have the mental energy at the moment to pick just one.

First, is my friend Petra (she's the old woman in the picture below). I love her. She has terrible luck so she always has the craziest stories and when we get together, our brains combine and create very interesting ways to entertain ourselves (which is not hard for either of us, as we're very easily entertained). Of all of my friends, I would say Petra and I "get" each other better than anyone else and we've had many a late night trip to Wal-Mart, spontaneous singing and dance parties, and so much more (I'm blanking on any awesome examples at the moment).


Second, is my college roommate Maggie. Sometimes I feel like we make an odd pair as she's typically the one doing full of some idea that we simply MUST do and she has an amazing way of getting people to just along with her crazy. I don't know how she does it, but I've been a victim (sometimes begrudgingly) to her persuasive messed up ways on more than one occasion. But my life would not be the same without her :)


In a closing thought, I also chose these two ladies because they are the least likely to hold it against me if I ever were to make a truly messed up decision.

Friends Are There To Help You

I never cease to be overwhelmed with thankfulness for all the relationships the Lord has blessed me with. He has abundantly provided me with amazing friends and mentors in my life and there is a whole community of people who I could easily look to and say they've gotten me through the most (the topic of today's challenge). Despite difficult times, I can honestly say that I've never had to bear burdens alone, and that has nothing to do with me deserving it and everything to do with Jesus looking out.

With all that being said, I'm posting the below picture of two my dearest and longest friends: Jordan and Petra. We have all three been friends since we were 16ish and have seen each other at the best and worst. We've traveled the world together, prayed together, cried together, caused trouble together, grown up together, made mistakes together, celebrated successes together, shared life together. I love them both in very different ways and our relationships look very different. They have different strengths, gifts and passions, and I love that. So here it goes:

Look Ma, It's a Giant Acorn

I could go through all of my pictures and come across tons of funny pictures, but this one always makes me smile. This was taken in Fall 2008 and it's hilarious because Jordan took this without any of us knowing, but there we are, staring up at a giant acorn like it was the coolest thing in the world.