The response I get from a two-year-old when telling her to get her finger out of her nose:
"I'm just gettin' something."
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Bad Popcorn
I don't think I have ever had bad popcorn, until tonight.
It's 11 o'clock and after exhausting myself with The Great SweeTart Debate, I come to my room looking for a little snack.
Popcorn sounds good, well I didn't say it and it doesn't make a noise until after you already start popping it, but you know what I mean. So I pop my popcorn, grab a handful and am quite distraught to discover it's just not that good.
I am hypothesizing it's because it's old and the butter had gone some kind of bad because it just doesn't taste right.
I am still hungry and I am still eating the bad popcorn.
I really should head to bed sometime soon, I actually do have an exam tomorrow and need to be all well rested and refreshed for that. I am really not that worried about it. It's CTQR and I haven't made anything less than a 90 on the tests and I studied about three hours this afternoon, so I think I am good.
I was reading through Acts 15 today and I came across a verse that I found particularly encouraging. It said:
"And God, who knows the human heart, testified to them by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us, and in cleansing their hearts by faith he has made no distinction between them and us." -verse 8
One thing that I really stuggle with is a feeling of inadequacy and constantly comparing myself to others who I find to be stronger, smarter, or better than I am in whatever way, particularly spiritually. A lot of times I will find myself focusing so much on the attributes I admire in them and wishing I could acquire the same gifts, thus completely disregarding and paying no attention to the gifts God has blessed me with.
This verse though, is like God leveling the playing field, saying that there is no class system or hierarchy amongst believers. That no one person is better than anyone else, just different. The different gifts in the body are something God has been making me aware of the past few months since I have been at school.
I am just coming into realizing that gifts come in so many shapes and forms and not everyone is meant to have the same gifts. God designed each and every one of us with a particular skill and gift to offer in order to follow His command and expand His kingdom. I love when I gain some kind of inkling of knowledge of God's big ol' plan for it all.
I am probably not going to bed, but I will leave it here for tonight.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I can't sleep so I am writing This
I'm not tired, and I'm not sure why, but I feel like writing...maybe it will help me sleep.
I am coming to recognize a fear I have.
I fear meaningless relationships.
I don't mean that in the sense of a phobia type fear where I am deathly afraid of people with whom I have no meaningful, close, personal connection, but rather I fear being involved in a relationship that was at once thought to be meaningful but that later would prove itself not to be so.
Don't let anything you say be a line!
I guess a lot of this fear, or rather what would cause a relationship to prove itself meaningless is for there to be a lack a genuiness in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. I suppose personally the fear comes from my idealistic belief that every relationship should be different and unique and it is when we start to treat all relationships the same they lose their meaning.
It's like, you know how you have a good memory or experience with someone and in a weird and childish sort of jealous way you don't want them to have that same kind of experience with anyone else. That's what I fear. I repetition of my memories with someone else.
Maybe it's just me.
I just know I place a lot of value on the relationships I have with people and it kills me to think others don't place the same value on the relationships they have with me.
I'm going to go lay down now, it's late, or rather, early....
I am coming to recognize a fear I have.
I fear meaningless relationships.
I don't mean that in the sense of a phobia type fear where I am deathly afraid of people with whom I have no meaningful, close, personal connection, but rather I fear being involved in a relationship that was at once thought to be meaningful but that later would prove itself not to be so.
Don't let anything you say be a line!
I guess a lot of this fear, or rather what would cause a relationship to prove itself meaningless is for there to be a lack a genuiness in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. I suppose personally the fear comes from my idealistic belief that every relationship should be different and unique and it is when we start to treat all relationships the same they lose their meaning.
It's like, you know how you have a good memory or experience with someone and in a weird and childish sort of jealous way you don't want them to have that same kind of experience with anyone else. That's what I fear. I repetition of my memories with someone else.
Maybe it's just me.
I just know I place a lot of value on the relationships I have with people and it kills me to think others don't place the same value on the relationships they have with me.
I'm going to go lay down now, it's late, or rather, early....
Monday, December 06, 2004
Encouragement
So today I was reading through Acts 14 and I came across this verse that I found particularly inspiring:
"There they strengthened the souls of the disciples and encouraged them to continue in the faith, saying 'It is through many persecutions that we must enter the kingdom of God."
-verse 22
Now keep in mind, this is after Paul was stoned in Lystra and dragged out of the city thought to be dead, and he still continues on his journey and is encouraging others!
Paul amazes me. Really.
One thing I have been coming to realize lately is that importance of encouraging one another. It's kind of funny, as I was reading this verse I realized my bookmark has 1 Thessalonians 5:11 on it which says "Encourage one another and build each other up." Think maybe this is what God wanted me to learn today?
But seriously, I have always enjoyed encouraging people and making them smile on just a regular basis, but it is as of late that I have been realizing the importance to encourage people in their faith. It is a role that God calls us to play and it is acted out so beautifully by Paul throughout the book of Acts.
I don't really have anything eloquent to say on this at the moment, but it's just the simple realization of something small that we can all do to help build up God's kingdom.
Therefore, to all reading this:
I encourage you to keep on keeping on.
I encourage you to seek out God's will and to open your hearts to Him.
I encourage you to smile, laugh, and find joy.
I encourage you to invest in others.
I encourage you to say thank you to the cafeteria workers and the lady who cleans our bathrooms.
I encourage you to pray, and talk to God as a friend, buddy-buddy.
I encourage you to listen to happy music.
I encourage you to read children's poetry and relish in Dr. Seuss.
I encourage you to color, to dance, and to sing at the top of your lungs.
I encourage you stop and watch clouds.
I encourage you to be bold, and to speak out for what you believe in.
I encourage you to do what is right.
I encourage you to think.
I encourage you to notice the little things.
I encourage you to spend more time thanking God for the millions of blessings He has given rather than asking Him for things that we probably don't even need.
And in the spirit of it being finals week, I encourage you to study (like I'm not doing right now)
"There they strengthened the souls of the disciples and encouraged them to continue in the faith, saying 'It is through many persecutions that we must enter the kingdom of God."
-verse 22
Now keep in mind, this is after Paul was stoned in Lystra and dragged out of the city thought to be dead, and he still continues on his journey and is encouraging others!
Paul amazes me. Really.
One thing I have been coming to realize lately is that importance of encouraging one another. It's kind of funny, as I was reading this verse I realized my bookmark has 1 Thessalonians 5:11 on it which says "Encourage one another and build each other up." Think maybe this is what God wanted me to learn today?
But seriously, I have always enjoyed encouraging people and making them smile on just a regular basis, but it is as of late that I have been realizing the importance to encourage people in their faith. It is a role that God calls us to play and it is acted out so beautifully by Paul throughout the book of Acts.
I don't really have anything eloquent to say on this at the moment, but it's just the simple realization of something small that we can all do to help build up God's kingdom.
Therefore, to all reading this:
I encourage you to keep on keeping on.
I encourage you to seek out God's will and to open your hearts to Him.
I encourage you to smile, laugh, and find joy.
I encourage you to invest in others.
I encourage you to say thank you to the cafeteria workers and the lady who cleans our bathrooms.
I encourage you to pray, and talk to God as a friend, buddy-buddy.
I encourage you to listen to happy music.
I encourage you to read children's poetry and relish in Dr. Seuss.
I encourage you to color, to dance, and to sing at the top of your lungs.
I encourage you stop and watch clouds.
I encourage you to be bold, and to speak out for what you believe in.
I encourage you to do what is right.
I encourage you to think.
I encourage you to notice the little things.
I encourage you to spend more time thanking God for the millions of blessings He has given rather than asking Him for things that we probably don't even need.
And in the spirit of it being finals week, I encourage you to study (like I'm not doing right now)
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Obedience
Lately I have been working my way through the books of Exodus and Acts, and if there is one message that rings loud and clear throughout my readings thus far, it's obedience.
Moses, to say the least, was a rather obedient lil fella. I mean he wasn't exactly keen on the entire confronting Pharaoh and freeing the Isrealites, but he knew that it was his job to follow God's command. It amazes me how many times throughout the story of Moses it just outright says "Moses and Aaron did just as the Lord commanded."
How amazing is that, no ifs, ands, or, buts, or hesitations about just purely and simply carrying out God's command. And it wasn't just one time. It was each and every time God came up with a new way to prove himself to Pharaoh that Aaron and Moses were just like "OK-let's go." It's exciting.
The Apostles were no different as you go through Acts--they were simply carrying out the same command we are all called to do which is to spread the Good News of Jesus. And in many ways the Apostles were facing just as much opposition as Aaron and Moses. But regardless of what forces opposed them, they were obedient, and that is amazing.
Sometimes I am not very obedient.
I guess, in the worldly sense I am. I mean, as far as following rules go, I can do that. I didn't break curfew or backtalk to my mom. I wasn't a regular in detention (although I did land myself in there twice in middle school--once because wearing beaded necklaces was against uniform policy and I argued it was hindering my individuality) and my conscience wouldn't let me skip school (even though I had no qualms about getting "personal field trip forms" to stay home or go to Durham :) ). But in general, I wasn't blatantly going against any preestablished commandments just for the heck of it.
When it comes to God, however, sometimes I'm not such a good kid. There are times when I try to quiet God's voice so I can go along my merry way or when I gossip or lie or get angry or stress and worry that just keep me from following the commands God has laid out.
In Exodus 19:5-6 it says:
"Now therefore, if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples. Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation."
Now how stupid am I do deny myself being God's "treasured possession" because 9 times out of 10 I just don't feel like being obedient? I'm telling you, human nature makes us kind of stupid sometimes.
I feel like though, the biggest way that I am disobeying God in my life right now, is just by not trusting in Him and surrending every aspect of my life to Him.
I worry. I'm petty. I allow myself to get upset over things I shouldn't care about. Why? Because I am not trusting God the way I should be. Matthew 6:25-34 sums it all up perfectly saying "do not worry about your life" (25) and "indeed your heavenly Father knows what you need" (32).
I need to "seek first the kingdom of God" (33), I believe that it is then I will be spared falling victim to the stupider portion of the human emotional spectrum.
Moses, to say the least, was a rather obedient lil fella. I mean he wasn't exactly keen on the entire confronting Pharaoh and freeing the Isrealites, but he knew that it was his job to follow God's command. It amazes me how many times throughout the story of Moses it just outright says "Moses and Aaron did just as the Lord commanded."
How amazing is that, no ifs, ands, or, buts, or hesitations about just purely and simply carrying out God's command. And it wasn't just one time. It was each and every time God came up with a new way to prove himself to Pharaoh that Aaron and Moses were just like "OK-let's go." It's exciting.
The Apostles were no different as you go through Acts--they were simply carrying out the same command we are all called to do which is to spread the Good News of Jesus. And in many ways the Apostles were facing just as much opposition as Aaron and Moses. But regardless of what forces opposed them, they were obedient, and that is amazing.
Sometimes I am not very obedient.
I guess, in the worldly sense I am. I mean, as far as following rules go, I can do that. I didn't break curfew or backtalk to my mom. I wasn't a regular in detention (although I did land myself in there twice in middle school--once because wearing beaded necklaces was against uniform policy and I argued it was hindering my individuality) and my conscience wouldn't let me skip school (even though I had no qualms about getting "personal field trip forms" to stay home or go to Durham :) ). But in general, I wasn't blatantly going against any preestablished commandments just for the heck of it.
When it comes to God, however, sometimes I'm not such a good kid. There are times when I try to quiet God's voice so I can go along my merry way or when I gossip or lie or get angry or stress and worry that just keep me from following the commands God has laid out.
In Exodus 19:5-6 it says:
"Now therefore, if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples. Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation."
Now how stupid am I do deny myself being God's "treasured possession" because 9 times out of 10 I just don't feel like being obedient? I'm telling you, human nature makes us kind of stupid sometimes.
I feel like though, the biggest way that I am disobeying God in my life right now, is just by not trusting in Him and surrending every aspect of my life to Him.
I worry. I'm petty. I allow myself to get upset over things I shouldn't care about. Why? Because I am not trusting God the way I should be. Matthew 6:25-34 sums it all up perfectly saying "do not worry about your life" (25) and "indeed your heavenly Father knows what you need" (32).
I need to "seek first the kingdom of God" (33), I believe that it is then I will be spared falling victim to the stupider portion of the human emotional spectrum.
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