Classy

I feel like I need a record player and a cool vintage dress and heels.

Good Things That Happen Before Noon

Although it is just now moving towards the 10:30 hour, there have been signigicant reasons already to make today a good day. They are as follows:

1. Despite having gone to bed way late and waking up at an obnoxiously early hour (and by obnoxiously early I mean 8:00) than I normally do and after having been absolutely exhausted all yesterday, I woke up quite energized and I must say I am "alive, awake, enthusiastic."

2. Props to my biology lecture class! A girl got sick in my class and not only was the teacher incredibly helpful to her and not made she was interupting a test, but when the professor had to leave the room there was not a whisper or a shuffle through notebooks, everyone just sat there and continued taking their test--that so would not have happened in high school.

3. Chemistry majors are cute with their little protective eyewear and aprons.

4. Someone genuinely responded to the smile I gave them. It wasn't some elaborate exchange, but he took the time to stop his conversation on the phone for a brief second, smile, say hello, and go on his way.

5. Frank is in the CD player.

WaHo and Prom Dresses

As if the Waffle House is not enough fun on it's own, throw in some prom dresses and make it a night.

This is what a real man looks like

silly

Crazy girls

All dressed up for the classiest meal on earth

I Like the Way You Move

Ba dum dum.

hehe...I am far beyond delirious at the moment. Maggie and I have been in a particularly funny and witty mood since we got back from Body Sculpt which has only progressed that later it's gone the and the further we are from achieving our homework. We rhyme, we listen to Outkast. We're also hungry...we want Waffle House, Mexican, Chili's, pretty much anything.

I had every intention of going to bed way early tonight, but I am so not tired.

For those who didn't know, Kid's Radio is now unlimited.

It's served quite useful as entertainment while I locked myself in my room all weekend to study philosophy.

It's been years...

It has been years since I have had a scraped knee...a scraped chin maybe, but scraped knees are things that come from rollerblade wipeouts, flips over bicycle handlebars, vicious games of "lava monster" or tag...but all things you figure you will one day master as soon as you grow into a certain level or coordination.

hehe...that is not so. but I must say, there is this great sense of "inner-child" that comes with a good scraped knee, that sort of play focused lifestyle, the intensity that comes with the playground and recess games of soccer. It's great.

But what is even greater than that, is the paradox that comes with wearing a skirt and having a scraped knee. It's that sort of off-balance of the grown-up world and the child's world...it's the difference between play clothes and work clothes, and it's, I don't know, like when parents try to dress their children up to make them look like little adults, to make them look presentable but they really are just little people with missing teeth, goose eggs, snotty noses, and scraped knees and elbows. It doesn't quite match.

College or not, fancy clothes or not, I am still very much a kid at heart.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

There are several kids around campus who have shirts with the "Can't Stop, Won't Stop" phrase on them, I think they're from Irmo or something like that.

Well I may not be from Irmo, but I believe I might operate on this principle, not that it's bad neccesarily, just annoying when I really would rather quit and give up on something than stick it out.

I'm not a quitter, when I start stuff-I finish it; when I'm in something-I'm there; Friendships, relationships, work obligations, all such things-I'm loyal. I just can't back out on stuff, and when I consider it I go through these lengthy battles with my conscience about it all and it often leads to more stress than I needed, because in the end I knew whatever it was I was thinking about not doing, I was still going to do.

Since the second day of class I have wanted to drop my philosophy class. I liked to rationalize that I didn't have the time to devote to it, or I wasn't ready for the class, but the truth is, I'm intimidated by the class and I am not sure I will get an A so I would rather quit than be challenged and get a B (heaven forbid).

I went to wherever and got the form ready to drop, I contacted the professor, checked my advisor's hours but I can't bring myself to drop it. I know I am capable of the work.

Curses darn work ethic and crap like that.

Because it's Beautiful

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep A
nd still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be

Billy Joel.

All the Things I Didn't Say on My Philosophy Quiz

It is a pretty commonly accepted presumption, at least in Western thought, that God can be defined in three essential characteristics:
1. He is all powerful
2. He is all knowing
3. He is all loving/caring/good/etc.

It is also accepted, and I would assume rarely doubted, that evil exists in the world. Murder, rape, lying, cheating, hate, lust, toying with people's emotions, bitterness, and all the other millions of things we as humans often instigate in our own lives and add on to the heap of evil.

So, all of this leads to the philosophical argument of, "If God is so good, and so powerful, and so knowledgeable then why does evil exist in the world; and furthermore, if He is aware of the evil and has the all power, why does he allow evil to exist?"

It's a good question, one that a lot of Christians would mark of simply with the concept of free will and one that non-believers could use to try to appease the own pain in their lives, pushing off their own misfortunes onto God and not accepting the human role in anything.

But, for arguments sake, obviously if evil exists AND we have God to be an all powerful, all knowing, all loving God--something doesn't match up. Both cannot exist in their described fullness, and since evil undoubtedly exists, God therefore cannot be all He was previously defined all, or at least not to the degree of "all" that was previously ascribed. Therefore, we are posed with the question of "which of the three characteristics must be weakened or lessened to make up for the evil that is in the world?" This was our task on the quiz.

From my standpoint, most people are willing to accept God's power and knowledge. Most people can handle the idea that God has ultimate power, that He created the world, basically manages it, and it the producer and conductor of most of life's affairs. They are ok with the idea of some "faceless being" being "in charge" of things. Afterall, just because one has power doesn't mean one has to use it, so therefore, God could just choose NOT to act in instances of evil. And people are willing to accept that God is all knowledgable, that He is aware of all things, including evil, and all the things going on in their lives, but knowing doesn't do much with action or heart. So that leaves the all loving/caring/good/etc. category. That seems to be where people have the issue with God.

They ask questions of "If God is so loving then why do I have to endure such hard times or why did so and so have to die or why does no one love me" or "If God knows some terrible natural disaster is going to destroy millions of people why doesn't He stop it, if He's so powerful."

Now, free will does play a role, no doubt, but it's not just some scapegoat excuse for what might be conceived as God's inaction. God knows us as his creation, and on my observations I know something about people, and it is this...I have not met one person, who likes to feel like he or she doesn't have control of their own life, it's what makes Christianity so hard, giving up control, and even some of the most Godly people still have areas of their lives that are hard to surrender to God. WE LIKE TO BE IN CONTROL, or at least think we are in control. God did not create us to be thinking, feeling, free beings just to have Him make all of our decisions for us, it would defeat the purpose of our creation. God's already chosen us, but He wants us to chose Him. I mean, no one wants to be loved out of obligation, it should be freely given and received. And that is why God gives us the choice...and because we are imperfect yet strangly confident in our ability we screw things up, we hurt people, we hurt ourselves, we make messes.

But if God were to just step in and fix everything that we mess up, it would undermind what He created us to be, not to mention He already has made arrangements for all the time we screw up.

So the problem of evil is not an issue of God's not wanting to use his power and knowledge and love to save His children, it's a call for us, His children, to use the facilities He has given us to combat evil and make a choice to love Him.

In an MMMBop they're gone / In an MMMBop they're not there

Those were the days I tell you.

I Hope This Isn't Serious

I fear that I may be growing into some awkward like for having the bed made.

gasp.

I have never been one to enjoy making the bed, much to my mother's despair, in fact I have always held to the fact that an unmade bed is MUCH more inviting and that there was no real point in making a bed just to mess it up again.

But yesterday I was changing my sheets and I felt compelled to make my entire bed and as I was lying on top of it earlier, I sorta liked it being made...it does look a lot neater. But still, unmade and messy, I believe is a bit more my style.

This bedmaking this better not become some kind of trend.

All Was Not Well in the Nance this Weekend

What could go wrong with parflesnarf and "The Sound of Music?" One would not think such a wholesome, good clean fun kinda night could possibly go wrong, especially not in the Nance, it's pretty much the safest place on campus.

Movie night started good, but by the end, things just weren't really right, no one could really hold attention, it was almost an antsy-ness in the room, but after the movie was over I was looking out my window and waving at the people who happened to be walking around campus at 1:30 in the morning (nothing I haven't done before) but then this creepy guy on a bicycle stops and stares right up into our window. Alright, well while Stephen is telling us to call campus police just by the looks of the guy, Chris and I were trying to be rational and not jump to conclusions, afterall, if someone was waving at you, you might stop and try to figure out who it was, not neccesarily in such a creepy way, but you know he continued on his way after a moment or two.

Well a few minutes later, he's back outside our window, staring up at us again, this time the guys as well as myself are gathered at the window and again, the staring just wasn't normal, it was creepy, not right at all.

Well, being in the Nance and all, we had to kick the boys out at 2 but before they left we had them stand outside our window for awhile, check around the building, keep on the look-out and let us know "it was snowing in Japan" (code for it was all good) but while they were still down there, the guy rides by again, and not just rides by, but comes out of the breeze way connecting our dorm to another building on campus. Before the boys had even noticed he was coming I had seen him out of the corner of my eye and hit the floor like it was no one's business. The boys watched him ride off and said he was going the opposite direction so we figured he was gone, and wouldn't come back especially after seeing the four boys outside our window.

And he didn't see him ride by our window anymore

but around 2:30-3:00ish after Maggie and I calmed ourselves down I am on my way to wash my face and whatnot and I open the door and right to my left is the man WITH HIS BIKE, standing right outside my door! What the heck! SO I slam the door shut, lock it and sit down right in front of it barely able to move and just get out enough words to tell Maggie to call campus police. So I am sitting in front on the door and I call my friend Stephen and he's trying to calm me down and rally the boys together.

About 10 minutes later, campus police finally shows up and get this he knocks on the door and doesnt even bother to identify himself! And after about 10-15 minutes of "checking the building" he comes back and tells us he's done or whatever (like one cop can search the whole building effectively and he didn't even do bathrooms which he later had Maggie and I go with him to do but he sent us in while he held to door) and in the process of this our heros the boys had come back to the Nance and returned to our window.

Well after the cop left, neither Maggie or I felt very safe and we knew we weren't going to sleep and we weren't about to go out in the hall by ourselves, so we threw Maggie's ID down to the boys and broke just about every visitation policy in the Nance to let the boys back up into our room. So they call Kenneth, our friend who is a security assistant (and by the way there was no SA on duty in our building which means there was no one at the desk, the doors werent checked and the alarms weren't set) and he came and he and two of the guys did a really thorough search of the building and in the end Maggie and I ended up sleeping on the floor in Chris's room in Richardson, which is an interesting experience in and of itself, and needless to say, I didn't sleep at all really.

Much more has progressed on this whole issue since then, including the fact that some freshman on the first floor actually LET THIS GUY IN AT 2:3o IN THE MORNING!! I actually met the girl tonight and it took everything in me not to chew her out, not in an angry way but just to let her know how serious it was because giggling over it isn't how she should be responding to the situation.

Sigh, there is a lot more I can say but I'm gonna leave on a few closing points.

1. HUGE props and eternal thanks to our boys (Stephen, Chris, Kevin, Joe, and Kenneth) for being so valiant in their efforts to protect us.
2. Thank you Emilie for coming down and encouraging us to pray last night, I really needed that.
3. Thank you God for showing Maggie Psalm 27 yesterday, what a comfort in the Word.
4. To be quite honest, I have never feared for my life until that moment when I opened that door and saw that man. I have been scared to tears before, but never actually afraid, it's a very different feeling. For example, I cried going down the zipline at camp, I was scared, but deep down I knew that that wire wasn't going to break and my harness was tight and secure. I didn't know what was going on in this man's head, I didn't know he was there beforehand, I just didn't know and not knowing is terrifying. Just praise God I couldn't move on step farther after I opened that door, and praise God I didn't leave just a minute earlier leaving me by myself in the bathroom and Maggie alone in the room with the door open. Just praise God!