I have been especially distracted today.
Fall break is quickly running out and I still have a lot of reading to do, yet it all goes completely unfinished.
When those attempts failed, I tried reading a book just for fun, a new one, called Captivating, and even though I couldn't put it down last night, today it took me 30 minutes to read on page. Even television wouldn't suffice as it was an endless process of flipping through the channels. I aimless wandered up and down the stairs, signing on and off the internet, digging through drawers that I knew held nothing of interest to me, stood up, sat down, and heaven forbid I crack open my Bible and just spend some time with God...I just feel so restless.
It's good to be home, but at the same time, I always kind of get this way when I'm home, it just seems to be worse this time. I've spent a lot of my break alone actually. My mom and Devin have work, school, their social lives and whatnot, and there's really not anyone here in Myrtle Beach for me to see, there's really not much here for me these days. I guess that's kind of why I feel restless.
A lot seems to change when you haven't been home for awhile, even just within my family. My mom has started wearing jeans and drinking beer (not in a bad way, just never in my life have I seen her drink beer and last night at dinner she ordered one). Not to mention, she's skinnier than I was at like five. She goes out with Randy a lot, which is good, she deserves it, I guess with not being home though, I don't really get a chance to get used to it.
Devin is slowly becoming someone I could actually see myself hanging out with. He's a good kid, really, I was worried about him for awhile, but I think he's gonna turn out ok. He even came downstairs with his arms wide open for a hug when I came home Friday. I really hope he works at camp this summer, it would be good for him, it could be cool to hang out with my lil bro some. He's got a lot of growing to do, but he'll get there.
For fear of sounding old, middle and high schoolers today really make me sad. After school today, Devin and three of his friends came over to the house (all girls oddly enough) and apparently the one girls mom thought she was actually at Myrtle Beach High School and she sat there on the phone with his mom, lying right to her face, not even just be vague but saying like "No mom, I'm at the highschool, I'm standing right here in the hall way and waiting for practice to finish." Then when her mom didn't go for one of her plans concerning transportation from point A to point B, she hung up (with not even a good bye) let out a grunt, and another girl chipped in another layer to the story to tell her mom, devised another plan, and called her mom back.
I used to be that kid...I still am sometimes.
What hurt my heart though, is they all seemed kinda empty, there wasn't much there, and even more, the girl who was instigating the new plans of lying was the one girl I actually knew pretty well, and really hoped would rise about the same kinda crap that got her sister in so much trouble in high school. And she seemed the most detached of all. It's so sad.
Sometimes it really amazes me how easily I can procrastinate, how willing I am to do so, and how sometimes I even dilerbertly look for ways to distract myself. God's yelled at me for it, my mom's yelled at me for it, I've yelled at me for it, but I do it all the same.
I need to work on self-discipline. God's been showing me a lot about discipline and how vital it is to our lives, we're all looking for order, and God's got it, just gotta stop and listen to him.
Well, I think I am done procrastinating for the time being, maybe now that I've written some of this down, my mind will settle down a bit.
Fall break is quickly running out and I still have a lot of reading to do, yet it all goes completely unfinished.
When those attempts failed, I tried reading a book just for fun, a new one, called Captivating, and even though I couldn't put it down last night, today it took me 30 minutes to read on page. Even television wouldn't suffice as it was an endless process of flipping through the channels. I aimless wandered up and down the stairs, signing on and off the internet, digging through drawers that I knew held nothing of interest to me, stood up, sat down, and heaven forbid I crack open my Bible and just spend some time with God...I just feel so restless.
It's good to be home, but at the same time, I always kind of get this way when I'm home, it just seems to be worse this time. I've spent a lot of my break alone actually. My mom and Devin have work, school, their social lives and whatnot, and there's really not anyone here in Myrtle Beach for me to see, there's really not much here for me these days. I guess that's kind of why I feel restless.
A lot seems to change when you haven't been home for awhile, even just within my family. My mom has started wearing jeans and drinking beer (not in a bad way, just never in my life have I seen her drink beer and last night at dinner she ordered one). Not to mention, she's skinnier than I was at like five. She goes out with Randy a lot, which is good, she deserves it, I guess with not being home though, I don't really get a chance to get used to it.
Devin is slowly becoming someone I could actually see myself hanging out with. He's a good kid, really, I was worried about him for awhile, but I think he's gonna turn out ok. He even came downstairs with his arms wide open for a hug when I came home Friday. I really hope he works at camp this summer, it would be good for him, it could be cool to hang out with my lil bro some. He's got a lot of growing to do, but he'll get there.
For fear of sounding old, middle and high schoolers today really make me sad. After school today, Devin and three of his friends came over to the house (all girls oddly enough) and apparently the one girls mom thought she was actually at Myrtle Beach High School and she sat there on the phone with his mom, lying right to her face, not even just be vague but saying like "No mom, I'm at the highschool, I'm standing right here in the hall way and waiting for practice to finish." Then when her mom didn't go for one of her plans concerning transportation from point A to point B, she hung up (with not even a good bye) let out a grunt, and another girl chipped in another layer to the story to tell her mom, devised another plan, and called her mom back.
I used to be that kid...I still am sometimes.
What hurt my heart though, is they all seemed kinda empty, there wasn't much there, and even more, the girl who was instigating the new plans of lying was the one girl I actually knew pretty well, and really hoped would rise about the same kinda crap that got her sister in so much trouble in high school. And she seemed the most detached of all. It's so sad.
Sometimes it really amazes me how easily I can procrastinate, how willing I am to do so, and how sometimes I even dilerbertly look for ways to distract myself. God's yelled at me for it, my mom's yelled at me for it, I've yelled at me for it, but I do it all the same.
I need to work on self-discipline. God's been showing me a lot about discipline and how vital it is to our lives, we're all looking for order, and God's got it, just gotta stop and listen to him.
Well, I think I am done procrastinating for the time being, maybe now that I've written some of this down, my mind will settle down a bit.
2 comments:
2 Timothy 1:7, check out if you dont recognize it. It's true.
luke
ahh yes its one of the many God has shown me in the last little bit
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