"Let us Speak then of love...

What does it mean to 'love' something? If a man asks a woman 'do you love me?' and if after a long and awkward pause and considerable deliberation, she replies with wrinkled brow ' well, up to a certain point, under certain conditions, to a certain extent,' then we can be sure that whatever it is she feels for this poor fellow it is not love and this relationship is not going to work out. For if love is the measure, the only measure of love is love without measure (Augustine). One of the ideas behind love is that it represents a giving without holding back, an 'unconditional' commitment, which marks love with a certain excess. Physicians counsel us to eat and exercise in measured moderation and not to overdo either. But there is no merit in loving moderately, up to a certain point, just so far, all the while watching out for number one...If a woman divorces a man because he turned out to be a failure in his profession and just did not measure up to the salary expectations she had for him when they married, if she complains that he did not live up to his end of the 'bargain,' well, that is not the sort of till-death-do-us-part, unconditional commitment that is built into marital love and the marital vow. Love is not a bargain, but unconditional giving; it is not an investment, but a commitment come what may. Lovers are people who exceed their duty, who look around for ways to do more than is required of them. If you love your job, you don't just do the minimum that is required; you do more. If you love your children, what would you not do for them? If a wife asks a husband to do her a favor, and he declines on the grounds that he is really not duty bound by the strict terms of the marriage contract to do it, that marriage is all over except for the paper work. Rather than rigorously defending their rights, lovers readily put themselves in the wrong and take the blame for the sake of preserving their love. Love, St. Paul said in his stunning hymn to love, is patient, kind, not puffed up or boastful; it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor. 13). A world without love is a world goverened by rigid contracts and inexorable duties, a world in which--God forbid!--the lawyers run everything. The mark of really loving someone or something is unconditionality and excess, engagement and commitment, fire and passion. Its opposite is a mediocre fellow, neither hot nor cold, moderate to the point of mediocrity. Not worth saving. No salt."

-John Caputo, On Religion

This is what I am reading for Religion class....I'm so excited.

Caputo is searching to explain St. Augustine's questions "what do I love when I love God?" And he further concludes that "If you do not love God, what good are you."

So what do we love when we love God...do we even really offer God the fire and passion, a lovers love? What do we replace our love with, what are we wasting our affections on?

The Nance Will Make You Dance

That's right ladies and gentlemen, the girls from the Nance have a football team and we're ready to dominate.

Daytime television sucks

I have been especially distracted today.

Fall break is quickly running out and I still have a lot of reading to do, yet it all goes completely unfinished.

When those attempts failed, I tried reading a book just for fun, a new one, called Captivating, and even though I couldn't put it down last night, today it took me 30 minutes to read on page. Even television wouldn't suffice as it was an endless process of flipping through the channels. I aimless wandered up and down the stairs, signing on and off the internet, digging through drawers that I knew held nothing of interest to me, stood up, sat down, and heaven forbid I crack open my Bible and just spend some time with God...I just feel so restless.

It's good to be home, but at the same time, I always kind of get this way when I'm home, it just seems to be worse this time. I've spent a lot of my break alone actually. My mom and Devin have work, school, their social lives and whatnot, and there's really not anyone here in Myrtle Beach for me to see, there's really not much here for me these days. I guess that's kind of why I feel restless.

A lot seems to change when you haven't been home for awhile, even just within my family. My mom has started wearing jeans and drinking beer (not in a bad way, just never in my life have I seen her drink beer and last night at dinner she ordered one). Not to mention, she's skinnier than I was at like five. She goes out with Randy a lot, which is good, she deserves it, I guess with not being home though, I don't really get a chance to get used to it.

Devin is slowly becoming someone I could actually see myself hanging out with. He's a good kid, really, I was worried about him for awhile, but I think he's gonna turn out ok. He even came downstairs with his arms wide open for a hug when I came home Friday. I really hope he works at camp this summer, it would be good for him, it could be cool to hang out with my lil bro some. He's got a lot of growing to do, but he'll get there.

For fear of sounding old, middle and high schoolers today really make me sad. After school today, Devin and three of his friends came over to the house (all girls oddly enough) and apparently the one girls mom thought she was actually at Myrtle Beach High School and she sat there on the phone with his mom, lying right to her face, not even just be vague but saying like "No mom, I'm at the highschool, I'm standing right here in the hall way and waiting for practice to finish." Then when her mom didn't go for one of her plans concerning transportation from point A to point B, she hung up (with not even a good bye) let out a grunt, and another girl chipped in another layer to the story to tell her mom, devised another plan, and called her mom back.

I used to be that kid...I still am sometimes.

What hurt my heart though, is they all seemed kinda empty, there wasn't much there, and even more, the girl who was instigating the new plans of lying was the one girl I actually knew pretty well, and really hoped would rise about the same kinda crap that got her sister in so much trouble in high school. And she seemed the most detached of all. It's so sad.

Sometimes it really amazes me how easily I can procrastinate, how willing I am to do so, and how sometimes I even dilerbertly look for ways to distract myself. God's yelled at me for it, my mom's yelled at me for it, I've yelled at me for it, but I do it all the same.

I need to work on self-discipline. God's been showing me a lot about discipline and how vital it is to our lives, we're all looking for order, and God's got it, just gotta stop and listen to him.

Well, I think I am done procrastinating for the time being, maybe now that I've written some of this down, my mind will settle down a bit.

Makes me Laugh

You know Love is a happy time all throughout the universe. Its when the male part of the species goes to the female part of the species and says "HEY, you wanna go on a date!" And then she would say, "Well, yes I would like to go on a date, IF YOUR LUCKY!"


And then you go to a resturant and then she gets something called a salad and he gets a big piece of beef that he eats. And that ladies and gentlemen is what I call love. Kinda makes you cry doesnt it.


Brak from Space Ghost

I've Got Mail...I've Got Mail

and not e-mail either, the real stuff...all the way from one of my campers in Jacksonville, NC.

whoo hoo.

getting mail is perhaps one of the most exciting things ever.

what made it even better is that the letter is folded in one of those complicated and obnoxious note passing ways that you learn like in the 4th grade and keep doing until about 10th grade when you finally stop passing notes and then you just forget. It's so refreshing to see those things still around.

oh, and the sun is back in action kids.

The Sandal Tan Has Been Reincarnated

Not that is actually ever goes away but it was definitely on it's way to fading when WHAM! I take off my sandals Saturday night and after being perplexed as the whether it was a dirt or a tan...it was determined that it was in fact a glorious sandal tan.

Not that is wasn't worth it. I mean, a resurrected sandal tan is a small price to pay for a high quality weekend of fun filled times at good ol' Rockfish.

The weekend was just wonderful. Good times with Good friends. Lots of hanging out at the Joiner household. Convincing kids that clay-gelled mohawks are "so rockstar." And watching one of the best dads in the world spend quality time with his three little girls just made my heart melt. Not to mention the Peru trip is SO on for the summer. I'm so exciting. Good things are happening there.

Quite honestly, I didn't want to leave, as usual, but it was a very refreshing weekend. Nice to always have a place and family to go home to.



I wanna be at Rockfish, where the mud is ripe and the trees stay green...

THERE IS HOT WATER IN THE NANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Praise God!