Thursday, March 09, 2006

Spring break is so close that I can taste it and let me tell you I have big plans on the horizon. The Entertainment Schedule is as follows:

* walk 2 miles every day well all but 3 days out of 11
* get a tan (weather permitting)
* watch A LOT of TLC suprised?
* watch the entire season of Project Runway complete with Season Finale well not the entire season but i did see the finale
* bake lemon drop cookies my recipe=not good, trying mom's saturday
* bake scones
* hair cut
* take my mom out for a mother/daughter dinner
* watch The Notebook, alone :)
* write a paper it just makes me laugh i even thought i'd get this one done
* read The Cancer Journals
* study for two tests when I get back
* journal
* have breakfast with God every morning let's say midnight snack instead
* catch up on camper mail
* see the McCrackins and it was wonderful
* enjoy the privledge of going to bed as early as I want ha, i couldn't get to bed before 12 a single night but i did get to sleep in
* take the time to get ready I even curled my hair!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

i am going to put this out there: immaturity is the root of all evil.

perhaps not "evil" in its truest sense, but evil to the degree that it is too often the root of my frustration. and i am not talking about immaturity as in, goofing off sometimes or knowing how to be silly, i mean just people not knowing how to act like adults or at least conduct themselves properly. it's always bothered me, and now more than ever it seems to be dominating.

why can't people pick up after themselves? why are some of the kids in my honors classes some of the most immature kids i interact with? why do some girls honestly not realize the world is bigger than what daddy can buy and who you will marry? why can't parents discipline their children? why am i more capable of doing the job of people who are supposed to be instructing me? why are guys so stupid?

i think a root of a lot of problems with the church lie in immaturity. people not seeking to know God more deeply, settling for contentment, not understanding the cross, men not knowing how to lead, women being ok with that (which is an issue i could spend hours on). imagine a world if we all acted like we ought to, the way God lays it out for us.

i just pray that believers can ask God for maturity in faith, realizing that God and his kingdom is so much bigger than our Christian friends and church on sunday and campus ministries and catchy t-shirts and carrying our Bible to class, not that any of those things are bad in and of themselves, but what if behind all those things we had a deep knowledge of God's soverignty and power and love and might?
alone in my room, i'm the star of my own broadway musical...


...the things newsies does for my soul...

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

DUMB DUMB DUMB

more to come later

Thursday, March 02, 2006

"you have to wear your sperry's because you don't have rainbows"

It's Prep Day Boys and Girls

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

i'm going to write a book.
despite his womanizing ways, affairs, four marriages, and a notoriously almost bipolar personality, Frank Sinatra sure knows how to tug at a girls heart, perhaps that's why he is sometimes called the Sultan of Swoon or Swoonatra.

also, did anyone else notice to birds singing today? perhaps they were just espeically loud or i have been deaf to it before but it was like everytime i went outside all i could hear was birds and as i sat in my classes i could hear them chirping. i can't say it wasn't wonderful, but that many birds kidna freaks me out...i blame hitchcock

Monday, February 20, 2006

there is really no reason for couples to hold hands while they're trying to eat...it's not really romantic, it's not practical, and unless one person is a lefty well, it's just a hassle.

it's also lame when people push the handicap button on the doors just because they don't want to hold it for the person behind them.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

"Lord, let your judgment, pass over us, Lord let your love hover near,
don't let your sweet mercy, pass over us, let this blood cover over us here"
-andrew peterson

Saturday, February 18, 2006

there are plenty of things in the world that sadden my heart. honestly, i have no intention of going through the whole list right now, but one particular thing has been on my mind the past few days.

this particular thing, is the one thing that hits the heart of every girl i have ever come in contact with but at the same time will bring almost any group of girls together, in a sad, but honest kind of way...it's body image. body image is something i don't usually rant or dwell on, but it's something that is very much an issue for the heart of every girl.

my developmental movement class is full of girls i normally wouldn't hang out with. in fact, it's one of those classes i would really prefer to sit quietly through and not really deal with anyone in. however, it's also a classes based entirely on group work, so i have gotten to know some of the girls.

the other day, by i'm sure God's intention, i found myself sitting and doing my observation with the two girls in the class i had built up some ridiculous and judgemental distance from. the observation took all 5 out of the 30 minutes we had to sit there, so naturally, we just began to chat. it started with talking about clothes, because it's a PE class we were dressed out and were talking about where to get nice but cheap workout clothes. which then led to the subject of working out, which inevitably led to talking about why we worked out and what in particular drove us to feel like we needed to.

we were all pretty much in the same boat, not girls particularly obsessed with our weight and appearance so much, but worried enough to have days and times when we just didn't feel pretty or just were less than happy with how we looked.

it's sad, because even some of the most godly women i know, who are so satisfied in their relationship with God, still struggle with this problem. Captivating spends time on this and acknowledges it as Satan's attack on the fairer sex, which it is.

i really don't have a profound conclusion or solution to the problem, so i will leave it alone, but, it does make me sad that there are plenty of girls out there who struggle with this way more than i do and who furthermore don't know their status as the princess of a king who is enthralled with their beauty.



in order to not leave everyone depressed...i believe we should all talk like the gamblers on Guys and Dolls (starring good ol' frank sinatra).

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

because yesterday was valentine's day and i KNOW you want to know my thoughts on love

after about a week and a half of irritating mental stress, all but a religion test is in the past, and i feel obligated to allow my brain some quality farting time, at least academically. not to mention, i only have twenty minutes before work and there really is no need to crack open a book just to close it again.

sigh.

it amazes me how, as someone who calls herself a Christian, I can do such a shotty job of fulfilling the most central element of the Gospel--love. If you take NOTHING else from Jesus' message, take love, it's what he was all about, it's what we are called to be all about, but we fail at it so often.

i have a really hard time loving some people, I have no good reason usually, maybe they just have a bad habit or something I don't like, but in general, i just don't care enough to love. and what a poor reflection of God to not love my neighbor?

it's funny how not matter how long you have been a Christian, sometimes you still have so many of the basics to learn. I really have just been praying for God to soften my heart to love, to revel not only in his love for me, but to love my brothers and sisters all around me, to take the focus off me and just pour love into others.

gah, i don't do emotions well, but man is my God an emotional God!

p.s. this really has nothing to do with valentine's day

Friday, February 10, 2006

tulips and lemondrop cookies...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Let's face it, the thumbs up is dorky. It is, perhaps, the silliest gesture in our culture, but we all do it, and it's always dorky.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

All the Small Things

drinking the recommended 68 oz. of water a day; choosing wheat over white; turning off the water while you brush your teeth; going for a walk; using one paper towel instead of 2 or 3; recycling; pray on your way from one class to another; smile; hold doors; say thank you; say bless you; go to bed before midnight; floss; grab fruit instead of icecream; s-t-r-e-t-c-h....

there is a lot of credit to the small things. We hear about it often, how "love is in the details" and how the "little things" are what matter most, and while those are wholly true, it's kind of warm picture of all the little things that are done unto us, that we appreciate, and that's not what I'm quite driving at. I am saying, that there is a lot of credit to the small, conscious choices that we make. Living a healthier life style often starts not with joining a gym or buying lots of special food and work out equipment, but with a few small choices that you otherwise wouldn't make. Often, that's all it takes. And while the attempts may be meager, there are plenty of choices we can make to do our part and help out the environment a little. Changing someone's day can be the matter of a smile or picking up their pencil when it falls--no skin off your back, barely a second of your time, yet, it might just restore someone's faith in humanity. All of the many small things can sometimes just make the world, and life, a little bit better.

I truly believe, God appreciates detail, He does not ignore the small things. An honest and heartful "Lord, help me" is often times better than clouding a prayer with all the right words and format. Cutting of the TV or signing off the internet 15 minutes early to open the Word, God notices things like that. Neither will cause any damage to your life functioning (i promise) and it might even just make things a little better.

you might be asking though, why such credit for the small things, why do they deserve such acknowledgement? well the reason is, the small things are the first things to get shrugged off or ignored when we just don't feel like it or if we're feeling particularly mad at the world. Because the little things often go unnoticed and because the little things require discipline, self discipline in a way that, because they are small, we must constantly make the choice to do them. the big things we don't ignore, because they are there, they are in our face. we often make huge plans that we invest so much time, money, and effort into that, well, to ignore them would just be kind of stupid. it's there, it's prominent, you might as well pay attention to it. the small things though, the details, they are often overlooked and taken for granted.

the credit really comes in though, with the fruit these small things bear, sometimes in a way only you will know, or sometimes in a way you will never know, the small things are things, like small children, that just sort of wiggle right up to your heart, the small things are returned with small things, those quiet moments when God makes a cloud formation just for you, or lets you witness something funny, just because He wants to make your day better. The little niche in your heart, the one reserved especially for small things, it's God, letting you know that you're not going unnoticed (after all, we're all pretty small) and that He loves you.

the discipline of the small things though, the every day decision, the conscious effort, ahh, tis a great discipline to learn kids...there is not much that we can do that really merits much, the small things are about all we can do, but, like good ol' Mother Teresa said:

"we can do no great things; only small things with great love."

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

all i can do is smile...i have kid art for my wall.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

"The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces" Isaiah 25:8

This verse, ah, I can't really describe the comfort it brought me as I read it. What better picture of God than as a Sovereign Father? Words like "sovereign" and "Lord" highlight God's power, his majesty, his strength...but the action, the wiping of tears, it's so paternal, so loving, so so gentle.

I read this and just got this picture of a little child (all of us) crying and then this strong index finger, from a strong hand, slightly bent to delicately wipe and catching a tear, no real words, no face, just gentleness.

How great is that, so much power and so much love and so much delicacy in one God, one Father, completely gentle without losing an ounce of his power.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I really hope that one day my passport will be full, all of the pages used up with stamps from all the various places I hop to travel to one day.

I was looking through a desk drawer today and came across my Epcot Passport from when I was 8 years old and my family and I took a trip to Disney. It was a pretty sweet idea, you got a Disney Passport and at each country at Epcot you could put in stickers and the employees would write a message in your passport in the language of the country.

I want to go back and do that again, I think it would be good times.

Friday, December 23, 2005

I want to write a manifesto, of what, I have yet to decide.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

"Remember your childhood...and pass it on

I remember as a kid pretending to have "discovered" buried treasure in my backyard. I always wanted to find some amazing discovery that no one knew about. It's that moment when you come upon something so new to your senses and experiences that can be so overwhelming. Sometimes, its the journey to the discovery that gives us the satisfaction more than the discovery itself. Other times, its realizing that you may be the first, if not only, person to have this discovery. So, do you remember when you discovered something for the first time? If you think about it, everyday life is filled with discovery. That is if we are willing to look. For whether its a treasure, another land, true love, a matching sock, or even destiny...its like finding a secret doorway that you never knew was there...and then walking through it."

a little joy from some borrowed reading.