On Christmas...

Contrary to what some may think, I'm not really a Christmas fanatic. Sure, I do enjoy participating in the holiday within the right time frame (after Thanksgiving until Christmas Day); I will watch the Christmas movies and occasionally leave the radio on 101.5 (although I quickly get annoyed with the slow, sappy Christmas songs--give me some Hanson or NSync); and I can bust out a tacky turtleneck or sweater for a Christmas party BUT walking through the Christmas aisle doesn't exactly get my heart racing and I contemplated not even putting up a tree this year. Personally, I like Easter the best, but that is a different topic.

All that to say, the one thing that I do really love about Christmas is that it always brings me back to the humanity of Jesus and sometimes that's just too much for me to wrap my head around. Yes, He was fully God, but He was also fully human and in those first moments of His life, was there anyway His newborn brain could even process the thought of what He would grow up to be? I don't know. Part of me doesn't think so because Jesus' humanity is what makes Him a savior I want to know. It's a lot to think about on a Monday night turned Tuesday morning, but something definitely worth thinking about.

With that, I will leave you with the lyrics and a video (ignore the actual video and just listen to the song)for a song that gets my heart every Christmas season.

I Celebrate The Day

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might [ really ]live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

I Celebrate the Day--Relient K

My Wednesdays Are Never Boring

On Wednesday afternoons, I mentor an amazing (and crazy!) 6 year old girl with an awesome program called Community Hope. We have pretty basic rules for our time together: focus, have a good attitude, obey, make good guesses; and together we read books and talk and play games. It's a pretty awesome way to spend my Wednesday afternoons. And although we go through a wide array of emotions together each time we meet and despite the fact she's wide open and can't sit still, I love her. All of that to say, she says some pretty funny things that keep me laughing. Here are some samplings from tonight:

While answering our response questions to the book, The Little Red Hen:

S: I just have a question. Are you a grown up?
Me: Yes.
S: Ok, because my other mentor isn't a grown up.

When asked to use the word "young" in a sentence:

S: I am 18 years young.
(I totally counted it!)

And my personal favorite, when asked to use "were" in a sentence:

S: Were you at the club last night because you know I hate it when you go to the club without me.


In other news, I'm not entirely sure when I reached the point where a bowl of cereal and cherry pie constitutes a dinner.

Some days are just good

Some days are just good, and today was one of them.

I got to sleep in, take a nice long shower and take my time getting ready. It was chilly today, so I wore one of my favorite fall outfits. I got to work and was informed that is was Boss's Day by the amazing track out staff who put the sign up on my door and left a note on my desk. Then I got a slice of probably the best apple pie I've put in my mouth to eat while I was checking e-mails. I had a fairly productive day, a relatively good day at after school, then spent the whole evening at the State Fair with some friends.

A perfectly pleasant day if you ask me :)

This will just make you smile :)

You know how sometimes you just stumble on a song and fall in love? Well I overheard this gem tonight, looked up the lyrics, found the video and it made my heart so happy :) enjoy.

Jesus...

He's good. I like spending time with him. I don't know why sometimes I pretend like I don't need to.

Good to talk to you tonight.

October Holds Many Great Things

Fall has finally decided to come to North Carolina. Praise the Lord.

As a summer baby through and through, I'm really never ready to bid sunshine, warm weather, flip flops and sundresses goodbye;but, after a truly brutally hot summer, the cooler temperatures are refreshing and very welcomed.

The air smells of fall. I saw my first fall leaf the other day drop onto my windshield and I just had to smile to myself. Flannel is now an acceptable fabric to wear. Life is good. It makes me want to put on a plaid shirt and go to a barn dance and stand around by a bonfire.

While I don't know if there is a a barn dance in my future, October does hold many great things: the Art Gala, the State Fair, plaid, sweaters, hoodies, hopefully a trip to either pick apples and/or Busch Gardens, and my CRUISE! I'm so excited.

Downgrade

I'm currently watching a Rolling Stones concert on PBS.

Surely, doing a concert for PBS has to knock you down a few notches from rockstar status.

I Take My Job Very Seriously

Sometimes you just meet kids that, while not particularly the most fun, agreeable, or easy children, just make you excited to see them because you just don't know what they will say next. I have a daily source of hilarity this track in one of my new kindergartners.

While on the playground today, this little boy walked up to me with a water bottle full of sand and told me "This is not a water bottle full of sand." I replied, "Really? Then what is it?" To which I got "This is a magic powder that gives you muscles." I thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, it looks like sand to me, how is it going to give me muscles?" "You have to mix it with potions, with chemicals, not chemicals that will kill you though. Everyone gets one sip and we all get muscles and then we will have a war." "I don't know if I want to drink that it looks yucky." "Yes, you have to it will give you special powers."

We get temporarily distracted by lining up, in which my friend gives me the bottle to hold, giving me clear instructions not to dump it out. So, of course I continued to carry around this bottle for about a half hour and when he sees me he says "You take your job very seriously." And I do, the bottle is sitting on my desk, just in case I have need for quick muscles :)

Children

Today, Track 1 came to the Y in all it's glory. It was so good to see some of the kids I hadn't seen since the spring. The hugs and excitement were going around. The usual culprits were up to their old ways and it was amazing to see how far our first graders have come from where they were this time last year!

However, in addition to the usual goodness that comes from a day of camp, there are always moments in each day that just make me laugh out loud, and those I must share.

Scenario 1:

I walk into the Calton room to see my good pal M sitting in a corner. His counselor quickly leads me to the office to share this little story. While having the kids divide up into a nut and no nut table at lunch and saying "If you have nuts sit at this table and if you don't sit at this table" my dear friend pipes up saying "What about these nuts?" as we points to himself in the crotch. What do you say to that? It's hilarious.

Scenario 2:

In the middle of lunch assembly, a time for the kids to sing some songs and learn about Jesus, I hear this little voice across the room saying "I'm stuck, I'm stuck." When I look over, I see my new friend A has somehow managed to get himself stuck inside his t-shirt. He just couldn't quite figure out how to put all the right parts in the right holes. Later that day, when asked what school he went to, A replied, "Kindergarten."

I guess this is growing up...

I grew up in a PBS/NPR kind of family.

Many a car trip were spent listening to Click and Clack (the Tappet Brothers) give people humorous and practical advice on Car Talk. I am one of the few of my friends who "gets" the Garrison Keillor card in Apples to Apples. And I have played along on "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" on more than one occasion and even knew Mo Rocca from his status as panelist on the show BEFORE seeing him on VH1. Saturday nights were always spent watching British comedies and I've even been forced to watch an episode or two of Antiques Road Show.

The point is, while I watched my fair share of MTV and sometimes refused to listen to anything but Mix 97.7, that is what I grew up with, and I hated it (or at least pretended to).

But, things change. Somehow NPR has become a preset on my stereo and I listen to it on my way home. I frequently stop on PBS to see what is on and end up staying on the channel. I laugh, hard, at Keeping Up Appearances. Does this mean I'm a grown up now?

My New Friend

A conversation I had today:

JA: Do you have any pets?
Me: Yes, I have two cats but they don't live with me, they live at my mom's house and I don't live with my mom.
JA: Dogs?
Me: No, I don't really like dogs.
JA: So it's just you?
Me: Yup, just me.
JA: Do you have a husband?
Me: No, no husband.
JA: (pause) Hmm...that's surprising.

For Dad

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an Emerald Bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart, there will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone, but lullabyes go on and on
They never die, that's how you and I will be

One of the few, very vivid memories I have of my dad is of us driving around old St. Augustine at night listening to Billy Joel. The boys were asleep, and I just remember me sitting in the back, while my dad was up front and we were both singing this song together. It always makes me think of, and miss, him.

My Best Friend is a Great Listener

Me: He looks like Joaquin Phoenix.
Jordan: Walking fetus? (hysterical laughter)
Me: What? no. The guy who played Johnny Cash in Walk the Line.
Jordan: Ohh, Joaquin Pheonix!
Me: Yes.
Jordan: I thought he was kind of baby faced and a fetus reference is not unusual for you.
Me: True, but walking fetus? Come on! (more hysterical laughter)


Last night Jordan and I went to the Melting Pot for a little random fun and earlier in the night I said that our waiter looked like someone but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. After he came back and I figured it out, the above conversation took place. I love my BFF.

"This Is Real, This is Me"

Sometimes I think about the things that I do or the things that I like, and I just have to laugh, because in so many ways I just haven't really changed a lot over the years. Thankfully, some things have changed since I was a kid, I no longer wear overalls or sequined jeans as actual clothing, for example; but, the inspiration for this list comes from the things that I just think will always be true about me. Here it goes:

1. I will always be the impulse candy buyer in the check out line. I love candy, and my love goes back as far as I can remember. I have fond memories of getting a dollar from my mom or dad, marching down to the teacher's lounge and getting M&M's and a Sprite (always) and that was way back in like 2nd grade. Do you remember when a dollar got you both a snack and a drink? Gah, those were the days.

2. I will always love reality television. I mean, I was watching Bug Juice and The Real World, way back in the day when MTV still played music videos and the Disney Channel had those crazy Zoog things. I think this fascination with reality television explains a lot about why I loved psychology so much. People fascinate me, I love to study them in both a formal and informal sense and reality television puts some of the world's finest on display for my analytical pleasure.

3. I will always love paper products. I have a very vivid memory of being in a Toys-R-Us as a child, with money to spend, and wanting to buy a composition book. Why? I don't really know. I liked toys, but that is what I wanted. This love is now demonstrated with the stack of unused journals sitting on my bookshelf and the crate full of stationary and cards sitting on the floor in my room.

4. There will always be a part of me that wants to be a rock star. Now, the Lord did not really bless me with the gifts or talents neccesary to make it in the entertainment industry, but boy do I wish He did. To be honest, I kind of hate being the center of attention, but there is a part of me that craves it and always thought it would so cool to be famous. Jordan says all of us Currie kids want to be performers it just comes out in different ways. For my brothers, I would say it was with music, and I think camp allowed me to be my own version of a rock star.

5. I will always love writing. In 3rd grade I decided I was going to write a book called Christy's Big Adventure. I don't really know who Christy was, but she had a lot of magical friends, and to me, that was literary gold. I never finished it (although I do think I still have it in my room at home somewhere), but the desire and motivation to write ever went away. I have kept a journal consistently since I was 8 years old. I love to blog. I loved writing papers in school. And my freshman year of college I had the inspiration for another book that I do believe I will write someday. I just love the written word and have always preferred it to the spoken word. I love the idea of something being written down, and thus saved to keep.

6. I will always be indecisive and over analytical. This is probably one of my most annoying traits that has plagued me forever. It doesn't have to be a big decision, I am indecisive about just about everything: where to eat, what time to wake up, whether or not I should buy something in the store or wait, where I should live, whether I really want to get up and go the bathroom now or just wait until later.

7. I will always love musicals. This, I blame on Disney. Just about every Disney movie is a musical and I watched a lot of Disney growing up. I remember watching Newsies, Grease, and Little Shop of Horrors when I think we still lived in West Virginia. I remember my mom taking me to go see a stage production of Grease. We always had a lot of music growing up, whether it was the Beatles, Billy Joel, Cat Stevens or Wee Sing Silly Songs, it was there, and I am very thankful for that.

8. I will always suck at verbalizing and expressing emotions. I really don't know exactly why this has always been a challenge for me. I feel like I've always been pretty willing to express an opinion or get in front of a group to talk on a sort of superficial level, but I have always been uncomfortable with really being honest about how I really feel about things and people. I do think I have gotten better, and this is one thing that I sort of hope will change, but as for now, it's been consistent.

9. I will always love being outside in the sunshine. I don't consider myself the most outdoorsy person by any means, but I have always loved being outside. As some know, I used to pack up my backpack and head out to the undeveloped lot behind my house and read in the woods as a kid. In high school I would sit at the picnic table outside the classroom back door just to get sunshine. Even now I can't quite express the true depth of the happiness I feel when spring makes a comeback after winter. God is very present in nature for me and so many of my fondest memories are tied to camp, which was outdoors :)

10. I will always be excited about the simple things in life. I remember one time in high school being told I was simple and being very hurt and upset about it, but over the years I have learned that it really isn't a bad thing at all. While there is a part of me that very much loves to indulge in some of the finer and unnecessary things in life (The Melting Pot, shoes, jewelry, Ritter Sport chocolate, etc), I do think I am pretty simple in what really makes me happy---ice cream, watching terrible movies, sitting outside with friends, brightly colored nail polish, spontaneous dance parties with people I love. I'm ok with that.

I also think I will always be terrible about getting myself to bed at a reasonable hour :)

Jumping Bands and Wagons

I feel like, given tonight's events (and the fact it has absorbed every Tuesday and Wednesday night of my life since January), it is only appropriate that I blog my thoughts about American Idol and its most recent winner Lee DeWyze.

As someone who jumped on the American Idol bandwagon quite late in the game (as in never watched an episode or paid it any mind prior to this season), I am not disappointed. While having no real frame of reference, I feel like this was a great season. The auditions were hilarious, full of some genuine talent, awkward people with big dreams, and this guy.

Moving into the actual contestants, there are some who I have completely forgotten about, some who annoyed the bejesus out of me (Haylee Vaughn, Aaron Kelly, and Tim Urban), some who I liked but who I knew wouldn't make it (DiDi Benami and Lacey Brown), and some who I loved from the very beginning (Crystal Bowersox, Lee DeWyze, Big Mike, and I was ok with Casey James---do I have great intuition or what?).

Since day one, I was a full on Crystal supporter. I loved that she was not a typical American Idol candidate, I loved her voice, and I just felt like she was a really good person and I enjoyed watching her perform. As the season went on, my heart quickly became torn as my love for Lee grew. Despite my growing affections for Lee, I still deep down wanted Crystal to take the whole thing. However, as the final episodes aired, I found myself unable to make a choice, yet completely content with either winning, as I loved them both equally. When Casey (obviously) got eliminated at the final 3, I knew I would enjoy the finale regardless of the outcome, but I have to admit, I got REALLY EXCITED when Ryan announced Lee's name tonight. He is just so endearing and excited and well, I just love him, and have every intention of buying his album. With that being said, I very much feel that there is a place for Crystal in the music industry and I have no doubt she will be picked up and be a success!

And, for those of you who have not been following, below is a picture of Lee DeWyze, who I like to affectionately refer to as my future husband ;)

You Know You Are From Myrtle Beach...

...when you hear a loud boom outside and your initial thought is "Who is shooting off fireworks and why are they doing it so late?" rather than "Oh, it must be thundering outside."

10 Things That Are Always Funny

So, it was recently suggested to me to get back into my list-making posts and try to conquer 10 Things That Are Always Funny. To be honest, this has been a real challenge, but here is what I have come up with (in no particular order):

1. Chubby kids with Southern Accents (please click here).
2. Mullets, rat tails, and other such hair phenomena...enough said.
3. Phineas and Ferb. I didn't think Disney could top Dave the Barbarian, but alas, they have and this show makes me laugh every time.
4. When the whiny or annoying kid gets hurt, not seriously hurt, but just a little hurt.
5. High school boys trying to lift too much weight at the gym.
6. Horrible wedding night stories.
7. Poorly thought out and cheaply made reality television (i.e. Conveyor Belt of Love and Hell Date)
8. Catching someone picking their nose in their car (extra funny if you see them eat it).
9.People running with backpacks.
10. Son-in-Law starring Pauly Shore (although, this choice could be influenced by the fact I am watching this movie right now for at least the 50th time)

It's Nice to Know Somethings Never Change

Like sitting around a campfire. It will always bring about laughter, good conversation, and strolls down memory lane that will stir up something nostalgic deep within me. Stories you have heard at least a hundred times will be told, but no one cares. The night will grow later and later, but no one wants to get up and leave, so you just let the fire burn down. So many of my fondest and most special memories were created around campfires.

I made a trip back to Rockfish today and for the first time in the past year it felt like home again. I had the opportunity to visit with some people I haven't seen in years, and it's such a blessing to know that some people will always be important in my life and that the time I've spent with them is so unique and impactful, that it doesn't matter if years go by between visits. Man, I love that place and all the people that have been brought into my life through it.

"He stole my hole..."

I walked onto the playground this morning to take up my role covering track out, and a child runs up to me and says "He stole my hole. I worked really hard on it." How do you respond to statement like that?

I also had the cutest kid ever, Freddie, help me lead 100 kids in doing The Freddie at assembly this morning. It was HILARIOUS.

I win.

Throw Back

Man, Dispatch just came on my Pandora station and I had a major throw back to my freshman year of college. I have such vivid memories of those first few weeks at Winthrop: sitting at my desk in the Nance looking out on campus, hiding out in the Christian bookstore just to get away but not having anywhere to go or anyone to go with, ending every meal in the cafe with an ice cream cone, using citrus scented Noxzema face wash...

What a weird time in life. It's hard to believe that was almost 6 years ago.

Jesus, You Know How to Color

As I was walking around Michael's today, looking for something to do because I was bored out of my mind, I had a funny memory of a song, or rather a rap, that a group of my kids at Rockfish made up one summer. It goes like this:

Red, the color of my favorite rose
Green, the color of the grass that grows
Yellow, the color of the sun that shines
Way up high in the blue, blue sky

Jesus, you know how to color
Jesus, you know how to color
Jesus, you know how to color
Jesus, you color my life with love

Not too shabby for a bunch of first graders :) I miss those days.

Making Good Use of a Sleepless Night

I'm actually quite tired right now, but I'm not asleep. I think it has to do with the fact I have been going non-stop (literally) for 11+ hours every day for the past week and a half that my body is just taking a really long time to shut down. So, I figured rather than wasting even more time farting around on Facebook or OldNavy.com, I should use this time to update the ol' blog.

I keep telling myself that life will eventually slow down, but I think I might need to get that out of my head.

The past few months have been busy, exhausting, challenging, long, and cold (with a few glimmers of fun and relaxation in there somewhere). And through these past few months I have really been wrestling with trying to figure out what my gifts are, spiritual gifts to be exact, and how I can serve within those gifts to find more fulfillment and a closer relationship with the Lord. However, as I have been wrestling with this, I find out more and more that I'm really not sure what my gifts are and how I could be used.

Introspection and self-evaluation are often very frustrating for me. For one, I suck at emotions and vulnerability and I'm super over-analytical, so I never get very far. I am also incredibly self-critical and have a hard time seeing myself from outside myself, leading to focusing much more time on weaknesses than strengths. Over the past years I have taken several personality tests or strengths profiles and I always read results feeling somewhat irritated with the fact that I never have any one trait or strength that really sticks out above the rest. Maybe I am dissatisfied with being equally average, or maybe I just want someone to tell me what I am good at and what I should do and cut out the introspection all together :) Either way, the process has been frustrating.

Despite the frustration, I have felt very compelled to continue on the journey. The topic of spiritual gifts has surfaced and resurfaced several times over the past few months, so I figured it's something God really wanted to challenge me with.

So this is where I am at. I've been reading a book called S.H.A.P.E. which I heard about from my pal Blair and it's been a good tool to start looking specifically at the topic of gifts.

Through scripture 20 different spiritual gifts are mentioned: administration, apostleship, discernment, encouragement, evangelism, faith, giving, healing, helping, hospitality, interpretation, knowledge, leadership, mercy, miracles, pastoring, prophecy, teaching, tongues, and wisdom.

Of these 20 gifts, there are 10 that I think I have or maybe have, those being: administration(m), discernment(m), encouragement(m), helping(y), hospitality(m), leadership(m), mercy(m), pastoring/shepherding(y), teaching(m), and wisdom(y).

The next step is to do some praying and reflecting on where I have felt most used and fulfilled in life and look for evidence of these gifts (not talents and learned skills) AND to try to serve in areas using these gifts. We'll see what I find out. Any feedback would be welcome but I am not fishing for compliments (I'm bad at taking them anyways), so be legit.

Things Kids Say

Shane: "The Brookester, are you ok? You look a little sad today."
Me: "No Shaneanator, I'm not sad. I'm just really busy, so I guess I'm a little grumpy today."
Shane: "Oh, did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess I did."
Shane: "I hate when that happens."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah: "Brooke"
Me: "Yes, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Somedays I just feel like I want to do nothing but dance!"
Me: "You know what, sometimes I have days like that too:)"

i could be getting in over my head...

i have a new personal project swirling around in my head and i think i will launch it soon.

stay tuned!

I wish they had accelerated reader for adults...

...because I would be ALL OVER that.

I love to read, and always have. When I was a kid, book fairs and book orders were like crack. I would want to spend tons of money on books, and that's not a bad thing I suppose. As I got older, life unfortunately got in the way of reading for pleasure with summer reading, and AP English, and college textbooks and what not. But, now that I am free of assigned reading, papers, and homework, I have been able to rekindle my old love.

This past August I decided that I wanted to read (or in some cases re-read) all the "classic" children's books. I haven't found a comprehensive list to start checking off, but I've done some research and thus far, the quest has been absolutely glorious. There is just nothing like getting lost in a story and I have found many of the books to be full of wisdom and insight that I never could have grasped as a child but that I will undoubtedly share with my children...

Here's what I have read thus far:

1. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
2. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
3. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
4. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
5. Boy by Roald Dahl

and I have just started getting aquainted with Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. And a few of the next books on my list are Cheaper by the Dozen, The Witches, Matilda, Harriet the Spy, The Borrowers, A Wrinkle in Time, the whole Narnia series, and The Hobbit. I'll gladly take recommendations.

Sometimes I Just Have To Laugh At Myself

Much like my ipod, I sometimes wonder what people's first impression of me would be if they just saw my Netflix queue. Here's what's in there right now:

1. Encino Man
2. Bedknobs and Broomsticks
3. The Gnome-mobile
4. Willow
5. The Little Prince
6. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
7.Gummi Bears: Seasons 1-3
8. Road to Avonlea: Volume 1
9. Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog

...and this is why I love the biggest loser

"i'm gonna sneak up like a ninja on their asses."
-a big girl dressed in bright pink.

pardon my french, but that's funny, i don't care who you are.

In the spirit of Christmas...

...well sort of.

Since we are right smack dab in the middle of the Christmas season, and gift giving is on the mind, I am taking a suggestion from my pal Meredith and doing a Top 10 Gifts list. It is important to note that these will not be ranked in any particular order and I have been fortunate to receive many thoughtful and special gifts from many thoughtful and special people in my lifetime.

Top 10 Gifts:

1. A box full of Ritter Sport Mint Chocolate Bars (my favorite ever and very hard to locate), special ordered from some European good store by Jordan.
2. My "Beau Coeur" (that's French for Beautiful Heart) ring from Mags. It's beautiful and I love it!
3. My pearl earrings and necklace from my grandparents, given on my 16th and 21st birthdays.
4. My (now) ratty and holey Winthrop Eagles t-shirt that Katie stuck in my suitcase before leaving Winthrop for the summer.
5. A copy of The Giving Tree with a note in the front cover from Jordan Cauley.
6. Ceramic hanging picture frames from my brother Ryan. They were a great choice and suit my taste perfectly.
7. My whole set of dishes, but most specifically my teapot, from my mom :)
8. My ipod. Let's face it I would be lost without it and it is probably one of the most used things I own.
9. A "room warming" picture/collage from Stephen Crotts. It has a picture of me, Rockfish and the Prayer of St. Francis on it.
   
10. Sunrise in Tupperware, a song written by my friend Natasha for me our senior of high school that she debuted to me at our Academy graduation party.

I'm one blessed girl, and a bound to be sleepy one if I don't go to bed!

I think this sums up my musical taste fairly well...

As I have not gotten any suggestions for Top 10 lists, I have decided that this post will be of...

My Top 10 Most Played Songs (according to my ipod):

10. Say It Right by Nelly Furtado: 64 times
9. Material Girl by Madonna: 64 times
8. Poor Unfortunate Souls from The Little Mermaid: 64 times
7. Carrying the Banner from Newsies: 67 times
6. Video by India.Arie: 69 times
5. Marry Me by Ed Cash: 71 times
4. King of New York from Newsies: 72 times
3. Seize the Day from Newsies: 76 times
2. Everlong by The Foo Fighters: 79 times

and the number one, most played song according to my ipod is.....

1. Take My Hand by Shawn McDonald: 97 times

The Countdown

I have realized two very important things lately. One, I blog much better (and significantly more consistently) if I give myself a task; and two, I really like countdowns, top 10's and other entertaining lists. Thus the inspiration for my newest blogging venture, Brooke in 10s. And, per Jordan's suggestion, my first Top 10 list is going to be my Top 10 YouTube Videos (ranked in no particular order). So here is goes:

1. Shirley Q. Liquor--Church Slave: Not a day since my junior year of college has gone by without me quoting something from this. It's absolutely hilarious.

2. Rob Paravonian--Pachebel Rant: This guy is brilliant, hilarious, and he plays guitar. And, after you hear it, you hear Pachebel everywhere!

3. Blood: Whenever a kid gets a bloody nose, lip, or anything else, I always have a weird impulse to go "Bloo-da, not fun-nee." This kid is genuinely concerned, but you can't help but laugh.

4. David Hasselhoff on the Berlin Wall: Ok, so this isn't an authenic youtube video, per say, but his jacket is amazing and, let's face it, he is "The Hoff."

5. David After the Dentist: And while I am on the subject of Davids, I have to select this classic piece of greatness. Kids+drugs=funny, I don't care who you are.

6. Kittens Inspired By Kittens: I have to thank my friend Petra for introducting me to this video. Also, I really hope I have a child just like this some day.

7. Evil Strawberry: I almost pee my pants every time. "I'm not stupid anymore!!!!"

8. Ms. Peachez-Fry That Chicken: "I gotta pan, I gotta plan..."

9. Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog: Act 1, Part 1: The writer's strike sucked, but it did produce this gem. Oh, Sean Patrick Harris....(Parts 2 and 3 are pretty sweet too)

10. The End of the World: Yes, it's a throwback, but a classic.

So, there you have it. Obviously, this list doesn't include all of the greatness YouTube has to offer, but all guarenteed to produce a hearty laugh, so enjoy.

I'm not sure how long this list-making kick will go on, so if you have things you want itemized...I'm your girl, so bring on the suggestions!

a lot has been going on in my life lately...and i'm really tired on just about every level...and in need of some real time with Jesus.

What the good life is made of...

hobos on the fire. cuddling with some of my favorite children. catching up with friends you haven't seen in awhile. lots of sweet tea. playing at rest stops. painting toe nails. finding at least 40 out of 50 license plates while driving. lots of laughing. trying to fit into little girl dress up clothes. being invisible. good conversation. sharing stories. lots of hugs. girl time. laughing at boys. knowing that some things just don't change that much.

and i got all of this from almost 20 hours in a car and a trip to Alabama :)

At the table

We have had a dining room table and chairs in our apartment for as long as I have lived here (with the exception of the month or so between Alison taking hers and my acquiring my grandparents' old set) and for a great part of that time the table has been used to collect junk and deposit mail. Occasionally we would clean it off to serve food when we had folks over, but more or less it served all the purposes of a junk drawer without the semblance of organization.

Tonight however, Jordan and I both got home about the same time and therefore were cooking dinner about the same time. Upon realizing that our cable had in fact been disconnected in our living room, thus ruining the plans to watch Two and a Half Men while eating at the coffee table, I suggested that we bust out the ol' boombox and have a family dinner, at the table.

It was nice. She ate her steak, I ate my chicken, and we listened to Delilah solve the world's problems via requests and dedications while we talked. God blesses friendships in the simplest things sometimes.

One thing I really value about the way I was raised, especially when we were young and before we all started working, we always ate dinner together as a family--at the dinner table with the television off. There is so much value to that and if the Lord blesses me with a family some day, I have every intention of carrying on the tradition.

I'm not entirely sure what to make out of this?!

Guessing my age is always a fun game to play with kids, mostly because they are horrible judges of age and have zero sense of my age in relation to theirs, so I get some pretty hilarious answers. Although, this one might take the cake:

Me: How old do you think I am?

various guesses from various children

Jamont: You're 50!

Me: Really? Do I look 50 to you?

Jamont: Well, you kind of look like Michael Jackson (who was 50 for those of you who somehow missed that)

Me: Well I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

Jamont: Mmmm...compliment!

Me: Well, ok.

That's funny, I don't care who you are; although, I am not entirely sure how I feel about being compared to the MJ.

I laughed at this

I have been helping coach a t-ball team at the Y this spring and this is just a glimpse of why I love kindergartners:

While on first base during practice:

ME: "Eugene, are you ready for the ball?"

EUGENE: "I'm ready for my butt."

ME: (laughing hysterically) "I don't know what that means but let's not say that"

EUGENE: "OK"

"I'm on Birthday Crack"

...and that is a direct quote from me about 20 minutes ago.

I love birthdays, and not just my birthday, but birthdays in general. I think it is fun to be able to celebrate your friends for a whole day and it's just fun for folks to get their time to be the center of attention for a bit. But don't get me wrong, I do love my birthday too (mostly because I have wonderful people in my life who always make it special).

Over the years I have had a wide variety of birthday experiences.

As a young child I remember making my own birthday cakes (chocolate cake with chocolate icing and M&Ms on top, of course!).

On my 11th birthday I remember being pulled out of school early because my dad was getting his liver transplant, so we spent the day at Duke hospital. I also remember my mom taking me to the mall and getting this awesome pair of blue shoes with daisies all over them (I still have them at home).

On my 13th birthday I had my first "blow out" boy/girl party which was pretty fun, except the fact that I found out my "boyfriend" had been "cheating" on me. I would be lying if I said it didn't tear me up. I was also finally allowed to start wearing makeup.

On my 14th birthday I was in Washington, DC on my 8th grade graduation trip.

On my 16th birthday I got the first of 7 annual trips into the Rockfish lake. I also remember having one of the few bouts of homesickness I've had in my life. I got two of the BEST handmade birthday cards from some of my very first campers at Rockfish and my pearl earrings.

On my 18th birthday I was annoyed that graduation was the same day and that meant having to go back to Myrtle Beach High School (because who cared about my birthday when graduation was taking place!?) BUT I totally got TWO cakes....then I got thrown into the lake a few days later.

On my 19th birthday I spent my last few hours of being a teenager in the kitchen at Rockfish, making parflesnarf cake, listening to Stephen tell a totally BS story that made Jordan pee her pants, and riding down the ramp at the dining hall on a kitchen cart banging pots and pans...then quickly aborting the mission when I realized there was a group in the Bergland :)...and I got thrown in the lake.

On my 21st birthday Anissa had a surprise girls spa night for me during staff training. I got my pearl necklace from my grandparents and a diamond necklace from my mom...and I got thrown in the lake.

On my 22nd birthday I remember laying in my bed, all jacked up from exhaustion, and going on and on about this lightning bug that was in our room wishing me a happy birthday only to have my dear friend Petra point out the fact it was the light on the smoke detector...and we laughed for a l-o-n-g time....and I got thrown in the lake (for the last time).

And today, on my 23rd birthday I had my first non-camp birthday in awhile...but it was full of lots of smiles and cards and "Happy Birthdays" and funny phone calls. I got to eat lunch with friends from the Y, the afternoon off, and Jordan took me to the Melting Pot for dinner so I go to bed with an extremely full belly and a happy heart.

5 Things I am thankful for today:

1. The message from Charlotte that reminded me that today is the celebration of the day I came into the world and was no longer a fetus :)
2. Being on facebook and watching the little red notification flag pop up.
3. Getting to share birthday cake with so many people today.
4. That Katie S., Erica, and Brittany Brock are as funny as, if not funnier than, Hoops and YoYo
5. That it is finally warm enough to be outside when it rains! Nothing like walking through a light summer rain.
   

Day Thirty

Today officially marks the end of the Thirty Days of Thankfulness.

It's been a good exercise for me, but like with anything there have been ups and downs. I started out with so much excitement and enthusiasm, there were days when I observed and lived in anticipation of finding things to be thankful for. And then were there days when I didn't feel like being thankful at all or where I sat at my computer stumped, trying to come up with my five. I'm so human.

I've learned some important things though:

• I am not at a place where thankfulness necessarily comes naturally yet, I'd like to get there
  
• Sometimes the things that I am thankful for are just things that make me laugh...and I don't think that is a bad thing.
• I would like to be as excited about my walk with the Lord everday as I was when I started this 30 days ago...an excitement about what the Lord can and will do!
• I want to continue in this discipline, perhaps not posting it on here, but in my time with the Lord, being intentional about my thankfulness for what he has done and is doing daily.

So, here it is folks, that last thankfulness post. Enjoy!

Day Thirty:

1. Everyone who has been reading this blog and the little ways I have seen the Lord use it.
2. That there are some people who I know will just always be a part of my life.
3. Getting to talk to Brittany Brock today!!!
4. Awkward moments that make funny stories later
5. People who desire to make the Lord known in the world around them
   

Grand Finale

It's no secret that I love reality television, and the show that by far has my heart is The Biggest Loser. This season was a particularly good season. Not only was it the biggest cast ever (as in the largest people), there was a lot less drama, and just a lot of seeing people change. And that's exciting. Yes, it's TV and yes, it's perhaps silly to get a little choked up each episode...but it makes me happy. And Tara just LOST for the first time all season, and this was the big one...GOOOOO Helen!!

Day Twenty-nine:

1. The opportunity to share, in a very small way, in what Community Hope has been doing by attending their end of the year banquet.
2. Getting all my rosters done before the track starts tomorrow
   
3. Finally working out again after over a week of doing nothing
4. Driving past beautiful fields at dusk
5. A nice place to come home to after a long day
   

Getting back in the swing

I don't have a whole lot to write about today. It was a pretty typical day, not a bad day by any means, not an especially exciting one either. It's one of those days where time went by really fast even though you feel like you've been moving slow...

...and I know that I was moving slow mostly because I felt like I hadn't been to work in weeks. Between my trip with my mom, the YRS retreat, and Seafarer, it has been quite a while since I've spent an entire day in the office and I just feel like I had to get back into my groove. And of course, the downside to any time away from work is coming back to all the odds and ends that piled up in your absence that you have to tackle. and it was a Monday...and it was raining....

sigh... :)

Day Twenty-eight:

1. Waking up earlier than usual and starting the day off without rushing
2. The good fortune to not only have food to eat, but to have the kinds of food I enjoy to eat
3. My girls Eva and Molly who hang out with me in the office every afternoon
   
4. Anticipation about the business of the summer that will be here soon enough
5. Conviction from the Lord
   

OMG

On the way to church this morning, Jordan filled me in that the title of JD's new sermon series is "OMG!" I liked it without even knowing what he was preaching about.

As it turns out, he's preaching on prayer, which sounds good to me because it's definitely an area where I'd like to see growth. I really enjoy corporate prayer, I've experienced the power of prayer, I know the necessity of it, but so often I lack motivation or don't set apart the time in my day to really devote to talking to God. That needs to change.

Anywho, the sermon, per usual, gave me some good things to think about, and while I could simply copy my notes from the sermon, I want to focus in on what JD focused on as "The 3 Things That Are ALWAYS TRUE About God" because what we think and believe about who God is greatly affects the stance we take towards him and the stance we take towards him affects our worship of him. It's important to keep these things in mind because the circumstances of our lives do not always prompt us to worship, but when we focus on these truths, we have no choice but to worship joyfully.

Three Truths About God

1. God is in loving control: "If ever there was a time where it seemed like evil was in total control, it was at the cross, BUT it fulfilled God's will" We all face times in our lives when we feel like God is turning his back on us and the matters of our lives. Bad things happen, evil exists, and people will hurt us, but what is so awesome is that (to quote JD) "Satan has never come up with a plan to which God didn't answer 'That's perfect. It will suit my will perfectly.'" Anything that Satan or any person could use for evil against you is an opportunity to see God's hand in your life even when we don't see it at the time. What is important is that when we are faced with these challenges we are emotionally honest with God to admit the pain but intellectually humble enough to admit there are things about God that we just won't understand.
2. God acts according to great mercy: And mercy is God not giving us what we deserve while grace is giving us what we don't deserve. By our very nature we are sinful and deserve the wrath of God, but the very fact that we wake up every morning is a demonstration of God's mercy towards us. Not understanding God's mercy towards us can really affect our relationship with him. If you are constantly thinking that you deserve God's wrath, you will feel guilty with his mercy. And if you think you don't deserve wrath, you can harbor resentment towards God when life doesn't go the way you think it should.
3. God is tender towards us: "The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made" (Psalm 145:17). God will provide for the things we need, he will lift us up when we fall, fix us when we are broken, watch over us and protect us. We are his creation and his stance towards us is love and he loves us tenderly.

To tie all of this pack to the topic of worship and prayer, how we view God determines how we worship. If God is nothing but useful to us, a means to an end or a way to make us feel better, we will have to discipline ourselves to pray. But if we embrace the truths above and God becomes beautiful to us, it is our joy to pray.

Day Twenty-seven:

1. Finding a church where I walk away each week with a new perspective
2. Seeing people who are truly joyful about the Lord
3. A good cry at a good movie
4. Getting some order back to my room
5. My mother, of course. She is a wonderful lady.
   

One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out!

Baseball season has begun...and so has tee-ball season and I am quite excited because I have decided to volunteer and help one of the directors coach a tee ball team...The Rockies!

Today was our first practice and we definitely have a winning team on our hands ;) We have about 10 kids on the team and each one is as cute as can be. Obviously, some kids have more of a clue than others, but I think they are all ready to have some fun, and that's what is important. We worked on the basics today--what the positions are, ALWAYS run to first base first, how to field a ball, learning everybody's names, that sort of stuff. I'll actually have to miss our first game and a few practices, but I'm really excited...I'll make sure to keep everyone posted :)

Day Twenty-six:

1. The helpful sales girls at the mall today :)
2. Hanging out with the team today
3. Fresh baked cookies
4. A sense of accomplishment that comes from doing laundry
5. To reflect on the accomplishments of all my friends who graduated today
   

Catching up is hard to do

Given the reason for my absence the past few days, it would only be appropriate to start off this entry with a big ol' Ahoy There!

The trip to Camp Seafarer was a blast. It was fun to be back in summer camp mode, even if it was only for a few days. The trip was a good reminder of why I love resident camping so much. When you put kids in an environment that is so different from what they experience at home and you live in a cabin with them, you get to see different facets of their personalities and I love that. I love how relaxed camp is and how it just allows you to be away from normal for it a bit. Maybe one day God will put me back into the camping world.

The set-up at Seafarer is pretty sweet. Just about everything is on the water, which is cool; the cabins are huge with lots of room for stuff and hanging out (plus they have bathrooms in them!); the mess hall has a nice set up (I wish I could have seen the kitchen) and they definitely have their mealtimes down to a science. Supervision and accountability was a little more lax than I'm used to in that setting, but it seemed to work. I also liked that it had a very old-school summer camp feel with the bugle and the flag raising/lowering each day.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to work at an all girls camp. I mean, I definitely love being able to pour into young girls, and that would have been an ideal setting, and it definitely cuts out a whole mess of problems by eliminating boys. I have to say that I really enjoyed getting to spend time with the middle school girls this week. It's just fun to see what they get excited about, what they worry about, and to take a moment to be proud when they are doing the right thing and others aren't. The four of us had a rockin' time. I'm really glad I got the chance to go :)

Day Twenty-three (Wednesday):

1. That God has given me the ability to do decent devotions with teenage girls, even without much notice.
2. Arriving safely to Seafarer today and for the rain holding off, at least for now
3. That every group of campers always the one weird kid
4. Playing kickball
5. Getting to see how other camps run and what their traditions are

Day Twenty-four (Thursday):

1. The smell of honeysuckle on a warm breeze
2. Not waking up to an alarm clock
3. Getting to try something completely new (Sailing!)
4. How ridiculous middle schoolers are
5. That God has given me a liking for the weird kids

Day Twenty-five (Friday):

1. That no matter how "plugged in" and technologically advanced/demanding kids get, some of the simple joys of childhood are still around
2. Watching kids have the chance to get really excited about something that is new to them
3. Going to the movies. It is one of my absolutely favorite things to do (even though I don't do it often because they cost so much)
4. That my camera arrived and appears to be safe, sound, and in proper working order
5. Getting to watch and be proud of how well behaved my girls were this week
   

Updates from my time in NYC are still to come...

On the road again...

Well, the successful return home on Sunday is met with opening up the ol' duffle once again and heading back out of town. For the next three days I will be heading with Track Out over to Arapahoe, NC to hang out at Camp Seafarer. I'm excited. I don't think it comes as a surprise to anyone that I love resident camping and since this summer will be the first summer in fourteen years that I won't be at at any resident camp, I think this trip will be a nice little fix. It's always fun to get back into the cabin and flex the counseling muscles a bit ;)

With that being said, I must get to bed because it's going to be a long (but fun) next few days.

Day Twenty-two:

1. That, according to the boy in Chic-fil-A today, 1+1= flower; ow+ow=tooth; and 3+3=6
2.The celebration of Cinco de Mayo with Taco Bell, Margarita flavored Bartles and James, and Enrique Inglesias.
3. That Jordan and I made it home safely during the storm earlier. It was pretty intense.
4. Seeing change in people, and celebrating that change when it comes.
5.Alarm clocks with short snooze times...otherwise I would not get out of bed in the morning.

I'm OK with being a guinea pig

I have a very faint memory from my childhood of doing some product testing for a company. I know it was when we still lived in West Virginia and I am pretty sure my friend Leslie was there as well. In all honesty, I have very little recollection of the products we actually tested, all I know, is that for sitting in a room and looking at pictures and stuff, I got a trial size of DEP hair gel (strange I know, but I think it was somehow associated with a Barbie that you were supposed to be able to style her hair or something) and Fruit Rollups--that is a sweet deal when you are a kid. I blame that experience entirely for my affinity for free things :)

Truth is, I like doing research--from product testing, academic research, or just random queries of friends. I like filling out surveys and I like giving my opinion and sharing my experiences. It's fun to me. All that to say, I have decided to once again to volunteer my services as a product researcher and I am quite excited about it.

Day Twenty-one:

1. Creative people who create little nuggets of gold like this
2. Rediscovering old songs I like but haven't thought about it awhile
3. A productive day of discussion and evaluation (and sharing stories)
4. The smell of rain and the sound of it outside my window
5. Customer service representatives who do not act as if you are wasting their time or are stupid

I will play catch up later

...as you will find out when I get around to updating on the past few days, this weekend was eventful to say the least, so it was nice to have the afternoon and evening to relax. I was not entirely motivated to update on the past three days, but I was motivated to make a decision about the Nikon D60 and I decided to get it.

In other news, whenever I fly I always have the song "The Thing About Airplanes" by Andrew Peterson playing in my head. In particular, the line that says "Now the thing about airplanes I've noticed this time / is you can't look ahead, and you can't look behind / but you can see where you are when you look out the side / you can try to recover some peace." It's a song about longing, about discontentment, about disappointment, about wanting to be somewhere other than where you are at the moment even when you are in the midst of something perfectly good ("you know I love flying, especially at night";"the works of my Maker I'm flying beside")...I think it's pretty true of life too.

Flying is completely transitional. You know where you are coming from and you can anticipate where you will end up, but for however long you are in the plane, you are there with pretty much nowhere to go---you are trapped yet constantly moving forward.

It's easy to fall into the same mindset with life. It's easy to start to feel restless. It's easy to feel trapped by where you are in life. It's easy to feel discontent even when nothing is wrong with life. We can get nostalgic for the past and fantasize about the future and completely miss where we are in the present, yet life keeps going on whether we choose to realize it or not. I have found that is is when we most fully embrace the present, we are most content in it.

I know that I do my fair share of overlooking the present, but as a believer, it's so contradictory to what I know to be true--my past is forgotten and my (immediate) future is not promised and I already know my ultimate destination, that leaves no choice but to be a good steward of my time in the present.

Day Twenty:

1. For returning home safely and having time to relax.
2. That I am fortunate enough to be able to do and have the things that make me happy.
3. Window seats on airplanes
4. That I get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow
5. Tiny surprises from the bff when I get home (we're growing plants!)
   

Packing

I am a terrible packer. I always wait until the very last minute to do it. I always pack more stuff than I need. And I often over-estimate the amount of shoes that I will need (I also tend to over-estimate the long term comfort of shoe choices). I am going up to New York this weekend and I am almost positive that everything I packed will be, to a degree, a bad choice, because my mind still wants to dress for North Carolina. Oh well...I will live. There is also a chance of rain...boo that.

I am very excited about the trip though. Starting two years ago, my mom and I decided to take an annual trip. We originally planned on it being to Charleston, because we both love going down there, but this year we decided to take a trip up the New York. We will be staying with my aunt and uncle in New Jersey and then spend a day in NYC and another day in Philadelphia. It will be action packed, but I think it will be fun. Aaand, I am FINALLY going to see Wicked, which I am obviously psyched out of my mind about. And fun fact, one of the families from the Y is going to be at the same show. Small world, eh?

I'm not entirely sure I would want to call New York City home forever, but I definitely would like to live there for a year or two at some point in my life. I think a lot of people have that same desire, and I know it's definitely been on my mind for the past couple of years. I just think it would be an exciting time to see the city in its fullness, not just snapshot glimpses on weekend trips.

On a side note, I do not plan on taking my computer with me on my trip, so my posts for the next couple of days will be postponed, but no worries, they will come :)

Day Sixteen:

1. That I mange to operate pretty well even when I don't get enough sleep
2. That my mom gives me a call whenever she has bible questions
3. For everyone who is giving me input about my decision to buy a camera (I still haven't decided)
4. The opportunity to work out with a trainer. Not only is it good for taking care of my body, it's cool to see a different side of the Y
5. That Facebook, while without a doubt a terrible time waster, is a wonderful tool for catching up with people, without which I would do much less of
   

Thoughts from the salon chair

Sometimes I go onto the Wake Tech website and think about what would be a fun degree to pick up in my spare time.

I have really considered Baking and Pastry Arts several times, because I really want to make beautiful, edible goodies. I love watching Food Network Challenge and Ace of Cakes, not thinking I'd ever be that good, but thinking that it would be fun to try my hand at cake decorating and construction and whatnot. Plus, I am itching to play with fondant...I'm fascinated by it.

I've also considered Cosmetology. I feel like that could be such an awesome way to minister to people. I think everyone, at least every girl I know, understands the difference a "cute day" versus a "fat day" can make, and a lot of times when we feel like we are looking our best on the outside, it gives us a boost to let all the good things on the inside show too. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% inner beauty is more important than hair, make-up, and clothes, but it just breaks my heart when I watch shows or see people who have such low self-image that they can't see anything good in themselves, they don't even see themselves as worth investing any time on.

As I was getting my hair cut today and listening to and watching the people around me I thought, how fun it must be when you know you've given someone a great haircut that they love. That can do a lot for a person. Then I thought, what if I could have a job that would help others, especially girls and women, see just how beautiful they are? Just think of the doors it would open to speak truth into those lives about where their true worth comes from, and I think it would be a great reminder to myself about where my true worth comes from.

I'll just add it to the life to-do list :)

Day Fifteen:

1. Random quests for knowledge brought upon by Jordan
2. Freshly cut hair in a style that I really like :)
3. Encouragement that comes from hearing what the Lord has done in other people's lives
4. My upcoming trip to NYC with mi madre
   
5. Quiet moments in my car over my lunch break to just sit and enjoy the sun
   

The internet is a dark, scary abyss...

...one that I get sucked into far too often.

I love the internet for various reasons. Communication with just about everyone I know is at my fingertips...I can get answers to burning questions like "Did that dude ever do any other movies?" or "What's the name of that kid who did that movie about that stuff?" in seconds...I can watch just about anything I can think of from my childhood thanks to somebody on YouTube...and I can spend hours looking at things that I don't need to buy, and thus making me feel somewhat more materialistic than I probably already am.

I have been pondering the idea of a digital SLR for sometime now. When they first came out, they were way out of my price range, but over the years a decent camera has become quite reasonably priced and my income has become much more steady than it has been the past few years. And recently, I have been doing a lot of browsing around on several websites and have found some potentially really sweet deals on the camera that I am thinking about.

But when it really comes down to it, I don't need it, I just want it. And while I feel like I am in a phase of life where it is slightly more acceptable to be a little more self-indulgent, I am still quite torn. And what is worse is that the more I look into them, the more obligated I feel to actually buy one now that I've invested so much time.

Plus, I am incredibly indecisive.

What to do about my soul.....

Day Fourteen:

1. That I live in a neighborhood with so many children. They provide endless moments of entertainment.
2. That a song I like came on the radio in the weight room that gave me that extra few minutes of motivation to finish my workout.
3. Fresh strawberries that Jordan was willing to share with me.
4. Random phone calls from my friend Petra.
5. That the Lord wakes me up every morning :)
   

Unexpected Behavior

"Our sin is disgusting, and Jesus became that sin for us." JD Greear

By human standards, Jesus wasn't right in the head. It's pretty obvious when you think about the crucifixion. It wasn't just some nice gesture, or even just an act of fulfillment to the prophets. It was a brutal display of pure hatred taken on by Jesus for the sake of people who stood in direct opposition to him (which is what we were in our sin). Jesus took our place--the principle of substitution. This is the first part of what JD spoke about today.

Jesus didn't just take our place on the cross, throughout the gospel of Matthew we can see Jesus reliving the steps of the nation of Israel, but rather than leaving a legacy marked with disobedience and turmoil, Jesus lives as we ought. His life early on begins with an exile out of Egypt. He spends 4o nights in the desert just like the Israelites spent 40 years. He gives the new law to the people from the mount, just as the Israelites received the law from Moses from atop the mountain. Jesus is baptized not because he needed to repent of anything for himself, but because he was standing in for all of us, who are in desperate need of redemption, thus allowing God's words to him ("This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.") to be God's words to us.

The second part of JD's sermon was about how absolutely essential it is for us to find our identity in those words God speaks over us and not in the lies that Satan feeds us. In the desert when Jesus was being tempted, the devil isn't neccesarily tempting Jesus in the physical world. Rather, he is trying to make him doubt the identity God had just bestowed upon him at his baptism. The devil isn't telling Jesus he is not the Son of God, he is just raising the "if" questions, that when posed to any human mind would lead to at least a temporary identity crisis. But not Jesus, he is able to combat the devil's tempations by believing as truth what God says about him.

There are some lessons that I feel like God has to present to me over and over again (it's proof that God pursues his children), and the one of finding my identity in Christ is one of them. For years I have struggled with constantly comparing myself to others and with putting my worth and identity in the opinions that others have of me (or worse, not what they actually think but what I think they think). It's definitely the most prominent way the devil tries to pull my mind away from God. It's so hard to grasp the idea that Jesus loves me completely and to hold on tight to that concept. But what's harder than that is to give God's opinion the weight it should have. It's one thing to get it and another thing to believe it.

Day Thirteen:

1. The little boy at Target today who was very excited about finding THREE pairs of shoes in his mom's size.
   
2. That God has allowed me to keep up with a few campers from summers gone by and that I am able to influence the people they are becoming.
3. The whole genre of children's fantasy.
   
4. Getting to watch some of the girls from my small group get baptized today after church.
5. Online radio stations that play nothing but showtunes.
   

PickleFest 09

A month or so into Jordan and I living together, we had the idea to start hitting up local random festivals. It started with the Fiesta del Pueblo and the Greek Festival over at the state fair grounds, and it expanded into us looking up all sorts festivals across the state and putting them into our handy, dandy "social events calendar." We plan these trips more than we actual attend them (things come up, ya know), but one just can't pass up something like the Pickle Festival in good ol' Mt. Olive, NC.

So, that is what we did today and I'm a better (and rather sunburnt) person for it, although I was somewhat disappointed at the lack of overall pickle culture. I mean, they handed out free pickles, which was pretty sweet, Mr. Crisp was walking around, and there really are Pickle Princesses, but other than that, it's a lot like the state fair--turkey legs, funnel cakes, and a wide variety of people from all walks of life :) I just feel like if you have a theme, you need to go all out. For example, if you are going to be having pig and duck races, the pigs should be in pickle costumes. If you are going to have a car show, I think the contestants should have to work a pickle theme into their presentation. And EVERY food stand should have some sort of signature pickle related food. I could do great things with a festival like that.

Anywho, the day wore me completely out, so I'm off to bed now.

Day Twelve:

1. The people of Mt. Olive who take pride in their town. They provided hours of entertainment today.
2. That I can watch Son-in-Law over and over again and still find it funny each time.
3. Cocoa Butter and the soothing effect it has on my sunburt skin
4. People who are willing to be silly in public places. Like the man on the bus today who was talking like Arnlod Schwarzenegger.
5. Chilidogs and icecream.
   

Made It...barely

I set out to start this post much earlier than now, but I got distracted...so I am just barely getting today's list in.

Day Eleven:

1. The little girl who told me she wanted to invite me to her birthday party
   
2. The woman at the Gap today who was sincerely realizing how great she looked in jeans
3. Hugh Grant double features on a Friday night
4. Sleeping with the window open :)
5. Zebra print flip flops (too bad there are no more safari days)

Tomorrow is the Pickle Festival in Mt. Olive and I have to admit I am pretty psyched out of my mind. They apparently give out tons of free pickles, have a pickle launch, pickle bowling, and a pickle packing contest. Oh, and not to mention the Pickle Princess pageant!

Tired

Man, I am about as worn out as a lady can get today. I have had trouble falling asleep the past few nights and I think it's finally catching up with me. I'm so not in college anymore.

Speaking of college, I can't believe it's been almost an entire year since I graduated. That is totally nuts! A year went by so fast. This time last year I was doing about 101 things at once and living off Diet Coke and Cheddar Chex Mix as I was finishing up my thesis, studying for exams, doing presentations, and squeezing in last minutes of tomfoolery.

Enough on that, this child needs to get to bed.

Day Ten:

1. That my mom and my house are ok even though Myrtle Beach has apparently gone up in flames.
2. The Office--it makes me laugh.
3. That tomorrow is Friday. I'm just tired and need to get some sleep.
4. Motivation
5. That I have actually stuck with my commitment in these posts and not let my laziness or sleepiness get in the way.
   

I guess they like me...

...or if not...i am getting very mixed signals ;)

Today was Administrative Professionals Appreciation Day and I had no clue.

So I pull up to the Y this morning and I notice something weird is on my office window. My first thought was "What did after school do to my office?" (Sorry FGT). But when I walked inside I was overwhelmed with a display of streamers, balloons, flowers, and all sorts of goodies :) The directors had decorated my office just for the occasion! It was totally a surprise and it just made my heart happy. They are too good to me, seriously. It 's always encouraging to hear that you are doing a good job and that you are contributing to the team, but in all honestly, I have been more than supported in my job and I know that is a HUGE factor in why I am able to get things done.

This is as I walked in the door....

...and this is my desk (check out the fancy streamer job)

See what I mean, spoiled!Handcrafted my Meredith Cox herself. "It's green, because you like green" :)

I wonder who might have been the creator of this work of art?

And of course, the BEAUTIFUL flowers. So pretty I had to go home and take pictures :)

Day Nine:

1. I think it goes without saying, the opportunity to have the job I do and work with the people that I do and all the kindness they bestow on me.
2. That the state licensing people were not scary or mean and were willing to help me understand what I need to do to meet compliance.
3. Classic Rock-n-Roll music and the boogie woogie piano.
4. That I am going to the Pickle Festival with my bff on Saturday.
5. That the best costume I saw today was put together by a little girl and her daddy :)
   

The written word

I will take the written word over the spoken word any day-- for a couple reasons.

One, I am a much better writer than I am a speaker. I can look over something I have written and give myself a pat on the back; but if I have to watch myself speaking publicly or hear myself recorded, I want to cringe and back into a corner. And while I can eloquently present something to a group if I want (usually after writing everything out) and there are times when I know the Lord gives me the words to carry on good conversations, on the whole, I wouldn't say expressing myself verbally is a strong suit.

Second, I love the tangibility of the written word. You can have a good conversation with someone, and you might remember a significant phrase verbatim or you can recall the gist of what they were saying, but if you receive a really good letter, that's yours to keep and you can revisit it whenever you want. That's what is so amazing about Scripture; it is a letter from God that we can just read over and over again until the binding gets tattered or we've written all over the page or whatever :) It's a tangible tool from God.

Also, I like to be cautious with the words that I say and I get frustrated when I don't feel like I have adequately communicated what I want to say, so the written word allows me to get everything out the way I want it to be without getting sidetracked.

Now, I am by no means undermining the importance of face to face contact or the necessity of verbal communication, I just know what I like better. And I think the Lord has given me a gift and a passion for writing, and lately I feel like He has been calling me to use it to encourage others. I think that is part of why I have been so excited about blogging more consistently this past week or so--I like writing for an audience (even if it is a small one), especially if it's something I think the Lord can use to encourage them. So, I hope that is what this blog is doing. Yes, the challenge has been good for me personally, but I want it to reach further than my own growth and walk with the Lord.

Day Eight:

1. My Summit small group. I have been really blessed to get plugged in with such a great group of ladies and I am excited and hopeful that the Lord will continue to grow our group and our relationships.
2. That today half of my day consisted of playing on a playground with kids.
3. That all those years of watching professional wrestling paid off by having something "cool" to talk about with a 5th grade boy
4. For the Chic-fil-A on Six Forks...Obviously I love their food and their sweet tea (and I probably eat there more than I should), but I am thankful for the staff who work there and for their having such a great environment. I spend many a lunch break there and I feel quite welcome to sit and read or write while I'm eating my kids meal :) The people watching is great too.
5. That my friends Brandon and Ansley are pregnant. I CANNOT WAIT to see their baby girl.
   

Self Control

Overall, I would say I exhibit a pretty good measure of self-control in my life, and I think people who know me would say the same. I don't usually let my emotions get the best of me, I can hold my tongue (usually), I can wait for something I want to go on sale, I understand and chose to live in a way that I feel glorifies to Lord, even if it means on missing out on something in the here and now. BUT one area where I exhibit significantly less self-control is when I crave something specific to eat. And mind you, these cravings can be absurd and strange combinations (corn on the cob and donut holes; milkshakes and burritos for example). I don't mean it in a gluttonous way, or as in I just eat whatever (if that was the case my butt would be on The Biggest Loser), but it's like once I get my mind set on something specific, nothing else just quite satisfies.

It's this very craving-driven determiniation that binds my friend Katie and I together. I can always count on her not only sympathizing with but partaking in the strange quests for whatever we happen to be craving at the time. Perhaps one of our first bonding moments was sometime, I guess freshman year, when I came into her room proclaiming "OMG I need a cheeseburger!!" and we immediately had to go to Jack in the Box :)

I tell that story for two reasons.

One, I got it in my head last night that I really wanted chili cheese fries and thus I made a trip to the grocery store after work (and working out) to get all the ingredients, and I thus enjoyed a wonderful dinner.

Second, I have to laugh at myself for the reality of how single-mindedly focused I can be sometimes on such silly (and maybe some not so silly) things, not just random cravings, but a lot of other little fixations in my life. If I would just take half the time I spend planning for or thinking about those things and direct that craving and driveness towards pursuing Christ, imagine the doors He could open and the things He could do through me. Jesus is better than a burrito flavored cheeseburger with a side of donut holes and a milkshake to drink, and He deserves Lordship over my entire life as silly and ridiculous as I may be.

Something JD said in his sermon yesterday was, "If Jesus is not Lord of all of your life, then He's not Lord at all." Heavy. Perhaps I went around my elbow to get to my butt to get to this point, but why is it that I am so willing to submit my will in some areas and so unwilling in others?

Ahh, the things the Lord can reveal through chili fries :)

Day Seven:

1. BIG hugs from little children I haven't seen in twelve weeks :)
2. That my mom loves to send things in the mail
3. When rainy mornings end up in beautiful afternoons
4. That I get to share in the excitement and joy of the upcoming weddings of some of my dear friends
5. That the Lord likes to give me "projects" when I'm trying to fall asleep
   

Do the Freddie

One of the things that I love most about being out of college is that weekends are actually weekends. In school, Sundays were very rarely a day of rest. Sure we would take a long, leisurely lunch after church and sometimes we would make a trip to the lake, but ultimately Sunday's were bogged down with wrapping up (or starting) all the work I had put off until then and meetings for various things. So, it's nice to have that real separation of work and rest and to enjoy relaxing.

And even though today might have been a relaxing day, I accomplished plenty of worthwhile things. I went to church and JD preached a sermon that I still need to do some unpacking and reflecting on because it was pretty heavy (there will probably be more on it, once I've got my thoughts together). When I got home I made a delicious small stack of banana and chocolate chip pancakes and took parenting notes from the Duggers :) Their total lack of television watching naturally inspired me to reminisce about all of the things that I most enjoyed watching on TV as a child, which resulted in watching Troop Beverly Hills and a variety of clips on YouTube (where would we be without YouTube?). Lastly but definitely not least, I created a Pandora station for Freddie and the Dreamers, the creators of this little gem. It's the little things friend :)

Day Six:

1. The diversity in the choir at church. Black, white, young, old--a little bit of everyone represented and it's a little glimpse into what heaven will be like.
2. Color--life would be so boring without it.
3. That we always seemed to have music on when we were kids.
4. For my dear friend Katie Simmons and her reminding me about our Eat-vangelism seminar...those were the days :)
5. Reopened doors of communication with family members I haven't talked to in years.
   

Summer will be here soon enough

I love warm, sunshiney spring days like today because they allow us to enjoy a sense of carefree-ness and relaxation often associated with summer amidst the business of wrapping up the end of another school year and whatnot. Plus, in the spring the sunshine is still new and exciting after the winter and people aren't quite ready to complain about the heat, sweat and humidity :)

On a day like today I do miss being at Winthrop simply because it would have been an absolutely perfect day for sitting by the lake and reading a good book with friends, and I quite miss the tulips all over campus. Oh how I love tulips.

Today was a perfectly lovely day in Raleigh however. It was a wonderful day for driving with the sunroof open and the tunes cranking, and fortunately for me I had a reason to drive out to Wendell for a cookout with some track out folks. Burgers, baby, potatoes guns, and passing on the punching food game. Good day.

Day Five:

1. The crickets chirrping outside my window
2. Getting to hold and play with a beautiful baby boy today
3. Homemade pizza
4. Freshly painted fingers and toes :)
5. The Moody's hospitality in letting us come over and enjoy time together
   

Friday--Day Four

The past two days have been blessed with good conversation. I will admit that initiating and carrying on conversations is not always my strength, but I love to see when the Lord really allows conversations to flow freely, whether it's in the form of encouraging, teaching, or just catching up with a friend. It's nice.

I felt like I accomplished a lot today (even if I didn't get everything done that I wanted to), and that is a good feeling to be able to check things off of a list and see things slowly coming together. And while this track has not been bad by any means and I have seen a great deal of growth in our team, I am glad to see it go and for a new group of kids to come in on Monday. It will just be nice for things to settle down for a bit.

I was able to share some ideas for Camp Rock tonight with some friends and I just get more excited each time I start brainstorming and trying to plan things out. I haven't really "done" anything yet, but I truly believe the Lord is going to bless this camp this summer and I'm anxious to see what that will look like.

Day Four

1. SUNSHINE and Flip Flops :)
2. Seeing growth and improvement in some of our kids from the start of the track to the end
3. Having dinner with Jordan and Lukas
4. For excitement about the summer
5. Thinking about middle school and how thankful I am to have grown up since then
   

I suck at going to bed at a decent hour

Today was an eventful day at Track Out. I go on my lunch break at 11:30 and I come back and I see one of our campers being carried out to her car (rolled ankle--don't get too worried) and my co-worker filling out not one but TWO incident reports. It was a year round early release day, so between 11:30 and 12:45 we had extra children show up and all of the normal directors were off at their after school sites, and I had more than one child visit my office for a variety of issues ranging from being tired, to needing a break, to not listening, to having ripped an impressive and quite large hole in his/her pants. Not to mention the normal day to day tasks of getting bus rosters ready and fielding phone calls and whatnot. I wouldn't put it down as a bad day, just eventful. Oh, then at around 3:40 I realized I had a credit card log due at 3 that I completely had in my head was due tomorrow and I had not even started on it! Yay!

Despite the craziness of the day, I came home completely satisfied with it. It's one of those nights where it just all the sudden became much later than I thought and I'm not particularly tired and I am just sort of in the mood to socialize (I'm sure I will feel it in the morning--oh well). Needless to say, today is a day that I am thankful for, partially due to the following things:

Day Three

1. Compliments from friends about something small that you wouldn't expect them to notice.
2. A night full of multiple good conversations with both co-workers and roommates and thusly the bonding/relationship development that goes with it
3. An opportunity to build up someone else
4. A gospel song that definitely had a hook from "Beat It" (yes, the Michael Jackson song) in it
5. A day without TV
   

I Win

I like to make up games. Usually they are games I play with myself just for a chuckle and sometimes I invite others to join. Some of my favorite are: Guess What Someone is Going to Order from a Restaurant (are they a burger person? chicken person? Lemon or no lemon in their tea?), If You Had a Theme Song That Would Play Every Time You Entered a Room What Would It Be? (Bootylicious, hands down); and If Money Was Not on Issue, What Luxuries Would You Pay For?(someone to stretch me out daily). This is what I do with my time and today---I won. I actually got one of the things from my game to happen.

I have recently signed up for Personal Training with one of the trainers at the Y. And while I am not the least physically fit person around, I could use some shaping up and getting into a good routine, so I thought this would be good motivation. For a first session I think it went pretty well. We did mostly weights and while I'm not paralyzed from muscle soreness, I have a nice little post-workout burn. So after hopping on machine after machine working all the different muscles, my trainer was like, "Lay down on the mat so I can stretch you out." It was glorious. Totally worth the work.

Five Things I am Thankful For Today:

1. The five little girls who were dressed in head to toe cheetah attire, who crawled around the floor and for the little boy who "hunted" them.
2. Warm showers for sore muscles :)
3. A gradually recovering immune system
   
4. Chocolate chip pancakes for dinner
5. The song "Video" by India.Arie
   

An afterthought about thankfulness

After I posted my entry last night, I was thinking about how I need to make a concerted effort to be more aware of the blessings in my life--that if I want to live Easter everyday, that I need to find the reasons to rejoice everyday, something that I don't always do.

So, I decided to give myself a personal challenge in being more aware and thankful for things in my life. I am hoping that if I set an actual goal for myself, and commit to updating it on here, that I might actually go through with one of my many plans to step up my walk with the Lord rather than letting it fall to the side and sit there.

The challenge is this...for the next 30 days I will post five specific things that I am thankful for and I am not allowed to say anything more than once. If I can't find at least five new things a day to be thankful for, I have bigger issues.

So there it is and here it goes.

Day One:

1. People who are willing to be honest.
2. The little boy who waved goodbye to me at the Y even though he doesn't know me.
   
3. Kids who get really into the games that I make up.
4. That I am able to live with my best friend.
5. The fact that I get to think up a safari outfit to wear to work tomorrow :)