Almost too good to believe...

...and i can't watch.

two of my best vices WWE and Project Runway are joining forces and I don't have Bravo...

i lose.

I no longer have to take responsibility for any of my actions

because apparently Akon has volunteered to take the blame

...and that is how I spend my Sunday

Yesterday I spent 9 hours of my day watching the ABC Family 7th Heaven marriage marathon. Needless to say, my eyes were a little teary most of the day, but that's beside the point.

I am well aware of the corniness and unrealisticness of 7th Heaven, but no matter how aware I am, I still like the show. I'm a fan and always have been.

Many a Monday night at 8 o'clock were spent on my living room couch waiting to see what the Camden crew would be up to this episode and sort of wanting to be a part of it.

Granted it always finished just in time to switch over to Monday Night Raw.

...and that's the contradiction that was my early adolescence.

School Related Things

A couple of weeks ago, I applied for graduation. Not a particularly emotion provoking event, but a very real step in my journey towards not being a college student

Yesterday I met with Dr. Lyon to make sure I had everything I needed to graduate with my honors degree. I did, and upon completion of my thesis next semester, I will be an honors graduate of Winthrop University.

In a few weeks I will have my very last advising meeting in which I will need to tie up any loose ends to make sure I meet May with no complications. Additionally, my plans of taking my last semester easy and pretty much doing only my thesis will be spoiled by the fact that the psychology department will be offering THREE different courses that all make me want to pee my pants with excitement (prenatal behavior, advanced child development, and diversity in the family). It is also statements like that which indicate perhaps I should consider going on to grad school because, well, I'm a nerd.

In regards to things post graduation...suggestions are welcome. I'm far from being stressed about it, because I know the Lord will show me where He wants me eventually, but the thoughts I've entertained on my own are broad and diverse.

Finally, in the process of writing this, the apple I am eating in between key strokes which is sitting on my lap as oozed juice making it look like i actually have peed my pants a little. hurray!

A lust finally fulfilled...

...and it was wonderful.

ok, so maybe lust is a bit of a strong word with a negative connotation.

since my freshman year Winthrop has been promising me a new gym. spring semester of my junior year, no gym, but enough of a building to be a tease. fall of my senior year, a building, a pool, a tons of BRAND NEW CARDIO MACHINES mocking me from their place inside the building that won't open.

August 17th, not open. September 3rd, not open. September 14th, not open. But finally, today, September 17th, the brand-spanking-new and amazing West Center is open and I can finally enjoy my 20 minute run on an elliptical machine :)

I am making up for my utter lack of posting with this collection of little posts

Congratulations to me, and all my other friends who are 21, WE HAVE OUR ADULT BRAINS, physiologically speaking. Apparently, the brain is continually developing and creating new myelin sheathes (which speed up neuron communication) until you are 21, which should supposedly mean that adults can think better and faster than teenagers.

Drinking is legal at 21. Drinking kills neurons, thus making neuron communication harder....irony?

***

My heart is longing to be in a city...a big city...new york city.

***

Prenatal development is absolutely amazing, and possibly unhealthy for someone like me who wants a baby so badly (the whole marriage thing aside, biological clock, as Kat would say)

***

Jazz music is good for the soul...bottom line.

***

It's almost magical outside tonight. We are in such desperate need of rain and there are thunderstorms in the predictions...wind...colorful sunsets...and that feeling like something is going to happen...could fall really be on the way?

***

I wrote the ending last night!!

"I mean that to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks himself unlovable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can't accept who God is; a Being that is love. We learn that we are loveable or unlovable from other people," Paul says. "That is why God tells us so many times to love each other."

-Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Restless

rest-less [rest-lis] adj.

1. characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest
2. unquiet or uneasy as a person, the mind, or the heart
3. not content

what i'm getting at is that i need a swift kick in the pants. i just can't seem to get my butt in gear. i still enjoy school and i want to do my work, but i am just lacking motivation. i want to get up early and get ready, but i keep hitting the snooze. i want to make my days productive, but then i have days like today, where (no exaggeration) i keep my butt planted in front of the tv for hours aimlessly flipping through channels. About the most productive thing i did today was actually watch a movie to its completion. i surpassed unproductive.

i'm not really sure what my deal is.

lately i have just been feeling sort of discontent. perhaps i am subconsciously stressed out about all the stuff I have going on at school, but i really don't think that's it. i'm not particularly worried about what to do after graduation (although I do need a backup in case The Real World doesn't work out), but I have to admit I'd like a little more clarity in that area.

i think i'm just ready for something different...something new...something exciting...an adventure.

i'm not unhappy, but i think i keep trying to convince myself i'd be happier if only (fill in the blank with various plans and desires here). it's not good, i know the Lord needs to be my total fulfillment, but I'm having a hard time grasping that at the moment.

I'll leave you with this

I have hardly posted in months and what I have written has hardly been of any substance, so I leave you with this little bit of important information which proves how badly I need to just go ahead and go to bed.

Your Brain is Green

Of all the brain types, yours has the most balance. You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver. You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

What Color Is Your Brain?

Another Summer Gone By

How in the world did we end up in Week 8 of summer already (that's not counting the 2.5 weeks of staff training)? As you can see it's been quite busy as this is the first time I've gotten around to posting anything in months.

Camp is in a good place...our staff is amazing and the Lord has been here this summer. I've dealt with more issues and been stretched in a lot of ways. I have enjoyed this summer a lot and been able to work in a capacity that is new (although lacking in the sunshine department). It's good...summer has been good...and I will be sad to see it end.


But...Bahamas is on the horizon!

Is 20 too young to be feeling very nostalgic about things?

Job Well Done

I probably wrote about this last semester, but it's worth mentioning again.

In the academic world at least, there is probably no greater feeling than walking out of an exam, shaking the professor's hand, knowing it was a good semester with a job well done...

...and I'll do it again Friday morning...and next semester...

that's why Dr. Judge has class.

Katie and I are friggin' geniouses...be on the lookout...we're going BIG time.

Abe Froman: The Sausage King of Chicago

the end of any school year really calls for a viewing of Ferris Buellers Day Off. my freshman year of college the urge hit with great strength and was unfortunately met unquenched as i at this point did not yet have my own copy. this year however, the annual viewing was only beginning to nag my brain when i stumbled across an AMC_DVD showing of the movie. It's like pop-up video for an entire movie and for a movie i'v seen over 20 some times, it was perfect. i love falling into a fix.

i was introduced to ferris when i was about 10 or 11 and i was destined to fall in love with the movie as it was released only 7 days after my birth. i will watch it practically every time it's on tv and on other occasions when the mood strikes (for i now own the dvd for myself). it's just brilliant. it encompasses that wonderful, romanticized idea of high school that so lacks reality you can't help but love it. it's full of wisdom and an attitude towards life we could all afford to adopt. plus, deep down, we all want to be a little bit like ferris.

sigh...it's just brilliant...and most definitely on my top ten movies of all time.

New Layout

I figured it was time for a new layout.

I started this thing back in 2004 and have changed absolutely nothing about it except for the ramblings I post as I find the mood striking.

Consider it part of the gradual process of becoming a more sophisticated adult.

Why do I..

...have such a knack for ruining completely tasty and wonderful food options by looking up the nutritional facts. once i KNOW exactly how bad something is for me, i feel obligated to eat something healthier.

on the one hand it's good i guess...but milkshakes and grilled stuft burritos are just so so so very tasty.

Musical Whiplash

What is so great about itunes or using the shuffle mode on an ipod is that your musical is not neccesarily arranged in any particular order so you never really know what to expect next. and it leads to really funny transitions like going from Bruce Springsteen's "Secret Garden" (complete with the sound clips from Jerry McGuire) to Bubba Sparxx's "Miss New Booty."

that's what's so great about technology kids.

Overcompensating

I am overcompensating for my total lack of posting with the previous two (incredibly provocative) posts.

I promise, I'll try harder to be a better blogger.

Where's the love...

The 11-year-old version of myself would have never believed that my love for Taylor Hanson would one day come to an end.

But the 20-year-old version of myself has concluded that Isaac has definitely outshown his brother in rugged good looks (perhaps mostly in the "rugged" department), that age has done Isaac well, and in my expert opinion, he has become the best looking Hanson brother.

I have to admit, although many of you already know, that in my old age by affinity for Hanson has far from waned, and that with each new album (yes, they did produce music after MmmBop, and it's quite excellent too) I like them more and more.

It's nice to have something that I've liked for that long...we're going on 10 years boys...here here.

A New Prophet

The Office is brilliant. If you don't watch it, you should.

One of the greatest Michael Scott quotes, or any quote for that matter, is in an episode from Season Two called Casino Night. Michael has decided, in the name of charity, to host a casino night in the warehouse at Dunder-Mifflin, which would include gambling, drinking, and other such things. Toby, being the top-notch HR pro that he is, thinks that having children at the event would be a little inappropriate. In response, Michael says: I hate so much, about the things you chose to be.

I love Toby. Sure, Jim is gorgeous, but there is something about Toby...I just love him.

So naturally, my reaction was to think that Michael, while funny, was too harsh on my boy Toby.

Little did I know, Michael Scott is actually a prophet.

See, a week or two ago, while having absolutely nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon in the tutoring lab, I was looking around The Office cast members MySpace accounts and came across Toby's, and much to my dismay (I kid you not, my heart sank just a little) under religious views Toby had listed "atheist."

How sad. Coming from my Christian perspective, it just seems to be such a dismal outlook on life, and my dear Toby is part of that.

Michael knew though.

He hates that for Toby, but ultimately all he can do is just make this sentiment known.

Michael Scott is a prophet, that doesn't suprise me really.
:)

Out

For those who are unaware...I'm going to Singapore for a few days...

see you when I get back!

A New Face for Marlie

You know, as Americans we take so much for granted. I don't think that's anything any of us have never heard before thought about on occassion. However, tonight I have been sort of overwhelmed by how fortunate we are to live in America, where we have access to clean water, food, and medical care if we need it.

Tonight I have been watching TLC and they are showing one of those surgery shows and tonight it is about a girl named Marlie who had a 16 pound liesion on her face that has completely disfigured her. She is from Haiti and was on the verge of death because it was keeping her from breathing, eating, not to mention going out in public where people thought she was cursed or a monster.

Can you imagine if that was your child?

Anyways, she was fortunte enough to be able to come to America to have a never before performed sugery and as she was going in for the first part of her operation, her mother and the two Haitian nurses who made the journey with her were singing and even praying the song "God Bless America." They aren't Americans, but because of the medical technology we have in our country, their little girl is saved. We really are blessed.

Get Up and Go

Sometimes I become very overwhelmed with the feeling that I need to go somewhere and do something. I don't mean, like go for a run (although that does happen), but do something really purposeful with my life.

I'm thinking Peace Corps.

100 You Might or Might Not Know About Me

1. I got this idea from KTB.
2. I'm listening to Dashboard Confessional right now.
3. I'm a nerd, I really like school.
4. I once made a mixed tape for a boy I liked. To this day it was probably the boldest thing I've ever done for like.
5. On most guys in most situations, I find facial hair incredibly attractive (exlcuding the solitary mustache).
6. I have been to four countries outside of the United States and have driven through or flown out of two additional ones.
7. I once spent an entire day convincing my little brother he was adopted. He later told his kindergarten teacher.
8. Carvel cake is the way to my heart.
9. Despite being raised in a church, I became a Christian at 14.
10. I've had lice.
11. I still listen to Hanson (that's including recent CDs).
12. I have been keeping a diary/journal since I was 8 1/2 years old.
13. I really like Harry Potter and sometimes wish I could go to Hogwarts.
14. I want seven kids---this could be attributed to watching a lot of 7th Heaven, but I won't say that is the sole reason.
15. I could (and sometimes do) listen to nothing but 80's music and music from musicals or Disney movies.
16. I'm 64% gross according to blogthings How Gross are You quiz.
17. Before college "exercise" was like a four letter word...and never would have been done for fun.
18. I like to blend things with the Magic Bullet.
19. I compulsively check my e-mail.
20. I cry at A Baby Story.
21. Watching Newsies makes me want to do something important and stand for something I believe in.
22. I don't watch the news or read the newspaper as much as I should to be an informed citizen.
23. Grass green is my shade of green.
24. I've gone four straight days without a shower.
25. I am pretty sure I don't want alcohol at my wedding.
26. One time in middle school, to stick it to the man, I wrote "We the People of the Back of the Room" with two fellow deviants who got sent to the back of the room.
27. Ben Moser is mostly responsible for who I am...all complaints can be directed to him.
28. Sometimes I truly think I should just have the final opinion on how things should be in the world.
29. I'm taking hip hop this semester.
30. I love taking pictures.
31. I used to want to be an actress and sometimes really regret not pursuing that dream.
32. People think I look like Katie Holmes.
33. I went to see Michael Jackson cover band last spring.
34. There are 150 people on my buddy list...I hardly talk to them all.
35. I have a copy of The Giving Tree with me at college.
36. I read non-Narnia C.S. Lewis books for fun.
37. I want to write a book and be published.
38. I don't really like talking on the phone.
39. I like to play dress up.
40. If reasonable, I would wear skirts and dresses all of the time.
41. I loathe being cold, and sometimes lose feeling in my toes when it's too cold out.
42. I collect large eyewear.
43. I was a semi-finalist for the Park Scholarship to NCSU.
44. Despite what people might think, I really don't like icebreakers.
45. I am a camp dork...seriously.
46. I did not want to go to my high school graduation.
47. I want to live in NYC for some period of my life.
48. If The Wedding Singer of Son-in-Law are on TV, I will watch it regardless of how many times I've seen them.
49. Flirting gets on my nerves.
50. I love jewelry!!!
51. I'm convinced Jesus was a good looking man.
52. I want a tatoo.
53. I believe everyone should join in on the musical of life that is already going on in my head.
54. I memorize and quote lyrics and movie lines all of the time.
55. I like to eat ice cream for breakfast.
56. I hate feet.
57. When Army recruiters kept calling me I told them I wanted to be a fasion designer and giggled a lot to get them to hang up.
58. I want to go to Africa.
59. My stomach makes weird noises all the time.
60. My watch smells but I don't want to get rid of it because it shoots lasers.
61. I caught Gregg Marshall's shirt at the last basketball game.
62. I got detention twice in middle school...once for wearing non-uniform jewelry...I told my teacher I was "expressing my individuality"...she was not impressed.
63. I am anal about color coordination.
64. I always have my toenails painted.
65. I once refused to read Gone with the Wind on the basis that it was bigger than the bible.
66. My basketball number in middle school was 12.
67. Cocoa Wheats was my absolute favorite food as a kid.
68. The only two occasions that I can remember of "having an accident" as a young child both times I tried to blame it on sitting in water (which wasn't a completely inprobable story).
69. I carry a Hello Kitty compact mirror in my purse that my dad got for me when I was like 3.
70. I have never broken a bone, but I fractured my wrist in 2nd grade roller blading in Myrtle Beach Middle School.
71. I can still derive pleasure out of watching professional wrestling.
72. I'm not gonna lie, I like poppy rap music.
73. I sort my gummy bears and M&M's by flavor/color when I eat them.
74. Cute old men make me smile.
75. Burritos and milkshakes=goodness
76. Sometimes when I listen to music about the high school, punk rock love...a part of me still wants that (even with the drama and heartache).
77. Lime is one of my favorite flavors...cherry limeade, lime chips, lime seasoned chicked...
78. I used to make up dances to Spice Girls all the time.
79. I don't floss daily like I should.
80. I did a collage on belly buttons for art class in middle school and my teacher wouldn't hang it up.
81. I want to be a judge for the National Pie contest in Florida.
82. As a kid I was really into the spy/detective thing (Harriet the Spy and Ghostwriter were favorites) so I would keep notebooks of observations and follow anything I thought was a clue (once I rode my bike around the neighbor hood following blue paint splotches).
83. On August 4, 1997 I fell in love with Jonathan Warren...that's according to my 11 year old self.
84. My dream car is a green Jeep Wrangler.
85. I have a strange fear of doors opening on my toes...like if a door opens towards me, I am always afraid someone is going to push it open and my toes and gonna get messed up.
86. I have always thought I was old for my age...it doesn't take much to convince myself that was not true.
87. I've seen the pope...three times.
88. I used to want to be on the Real World.
89. I really wanted to play the flute when I was younger but my parents told me I had to master the recorder first...it didn't happen...needless to say, I never played the flute.
90. I have an over active conscience.
91. I truly believe love is in the details.
92. I have never been in love and am quite ok with that.
93. Once, when I was around 10, I decided I was going to spend an entire day sitting in the woods...so I took my "sit-upon" and packed a lunch...I'm not sure I even made it more than an hour or so.
94. I ran away once...around the corner...sat on the side of the road...and returned shortly after.
95. I suck at emotions and communicating things that are important.
96. My brothers once told me that the sodium earthobate in hotdogs was earthworms and I did not eat hotdogs for about a year.
97. They also tried to tell my that one of my my cousin's head wasn't real...Her real head was on this really high shelf at my grandparents house.
98. I wanted to be Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All...I also wanted to be Alex Mack.
99. I saw Sharon, Lois, and Bram in concert.
100. I am a pack rat.

Take that 2006---2007 is about to rock the house down

I have met this new year with an especially high degree of excitement and enthusiasm, unnatural or abnormal even...but I am quite enjoying it this way.

I love how the new year (or school year or semester or first of the month or sunday or really any beginning) somehow conjures up in us the great sense of empowerment. It is as if, for some reason when the calendar page flips from one year into the next we are suddenly much more motivated and capable of achieving the goals, breaking the habits, or losing the weight we have been carrying around for years, previously unable to do anything about.

I say this not to mock new years resolutions, but to smile at the fact that for some amount of time we are all a little unsensibly idealistic. In fact, I have a long history of making new year's resolutions almost all of which (if not absolutely all) have never been achieved. In fact, because I am a chronic overachiever and tend to take on a "go big or go home" mentality, I actually have a habit of making an entire list of reasonably obtainable new year's resolution that so divides my attention that as a result not a single one gets the attention or dedication deserved to make it a reality. In fact, these resolutions were so significant that I remember practically none of them; although I do recall several resolutions to lose weight, work out, eat healthy, give up soda, give up candy, and other such things. In addition I pledged other things like to stop popping my knuckles, do all the reading for classes, and I believe once I even made a resolution to smooch the object of my middle school heart's affection (I'm that cool, yes, I know).

I share all this juciness for the sole purpose of saying that this new year I am truly about to burst with excitement about what's in store for the next few months (at least). I feel like God is up to something in my life, and it's a refreshing feeling to have, one that is an answer to months worth of prayers. I know I am a nerd, but I feel like God is putting more passion into my school work, I COULDN'T SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE CLASSES. I sat excited, about to pee my pants, in each new class, just wanting to learn new things. This isn't just academically. I feel like a time of hardcore spiritual growth is on the horizon for 2007. He is calling me to spend more time with Him and has been making it an urgency in my life (which is awesome) and revealing so much to me about my relationship with Him and bringing forth a lot of things I need to deal with to experience more freedom and joy! It's so exciting. Overall just a sense of excitement about life in general and a desire to learn and grow.

I might pee my pants just thinking about it, which wouldn't be too hard because one of my new years resolutions is to drink the recommended amount of water each day ;)

It looks like my future husband has some competition

So, I have always had this little joke that I would pretty much marry a guy who wrote a song for me, we'll whoever he is, he has quite a high standard to meet because today, today, I got my very own song...merry christmas.

Be Like Brooke

She's the queen of the swingers, oh, the Rockfish VIP

She's reached the top and had to stop and that's what's botherin' me

I want to be like Brooke and stroll right in to town

with my big sunglasses on my face

I'm tired of monkeying around.

Oh do be do, I wanna be like Brooke

I wanna walk like Brooke, talk like Brooke too

You see it's true, a girl like me, can learn to be

just like Brooke too.

Katie B and grace are perhaps the silliest little girls I know, but I guess I should get used to it, because it looks like I'm marrying them! ::wink:: I have such cool friends.

Well I Guess This is Growing Up

Maybe you've experienced it, maybe you haven't...but sometimes there are moments in life when you just realize you're growing up. Not neccesarily anything tragic or lifechanging (although, that will certainly do it), but those moments when you just sort of realize that things that you've clung to or enjoyed in the past just aren't as interesting anymore, or that you are just ready to be beyond things that are sort of immature, yet quite a natural part of growing up. It's kind of a hard feeling to explain, though I guarentee most of you will start feeling it soon.

It's kind of been like that lately...just coming to realize that, I'm growing up.

To be honest, I always have thought of myself as mentally being a lot older than my chronological age at anytime (starting in at least middle school), but it doesn't take much to realize how wrong I was, but the other day I was thinking about the first week of college, how completely overwhelming that was. It was never so overwhelming I just had a mental breakdown or anything, but even in the past two years and I see where I have grown up. One particular instance that came to mind was one of the many trips I took to Thomson by myself freshman year (which I didn't mind and still like doing on occasion). It was one of the first days of school and at this point I only knew how to get to Thomson by one particular route. Well, somewhere in the process, I walked down a different road, arrived at Thomson, but had no clue which door to go in to get to the cafeteria. I must have looked lost, even though I am sure I was doing my best to pretend like I knew where I was going, because some girl was like "You can get to the caf from that door" and of course (secretly releaved) I responded "Oh yeah, I know." But even small things like that, heh, were just a few years ago college seemed like such a big deal and now I am wanting to be part of a big, grand adventure.

Anywho, what brought this on is that in the past few days I have had a few instances in where I felt my adult mind starting to kick in:

1. I felt this desire to subscribe to a professional journal
2. I want to host a dinner party
3. I realized I chose to listen to (and enjoyed) the Adult Alternative station on Launchcast

So there you go. That's pretty much all I have to say on this for right now, and yes, I get a chuckle out of the fact that a post of growing up can have a title so very connected to the middleschool version of myself.

Sucker!

There have only been two instances in my college career where I can truly say I felt like a complete sucker...where someone's really pulled one over on me....both times professors...

the first was in my Political Science 201 class with Dr. Belk (who is amazing by the way). So, this is my first semester in college, in one of the first honors classes I have ever taken here at Winthrop. One of the first days Dr. Belk hands out a "pop quiz." After freaking out about it being a pop quiz and knowing full and well I didn't know the answers to most of the questions, I turn in my quiz. Then we grade them. I got a 20...In a few brief seconds, my academic world comes crashing down. Almost to the point of tears, thinking there was simply no way I was going to cut it in college...Dr. Belk smiles and says "This is the intelligence test they used to administer to decide who could vote. You are educated people and still you couldn't answer the questions, what does that say about this method?" Punked.

the second instance, happened this past Monday. In my tests and measurement class we have been taking a series of personality tests to see how consistent the results are. So, in class, Dr. Daugherty hands out a sheet of paper with our NEO "scores" and an "interpreation" of these scores. Naturally, I am excited to see what my answers reveal about me. I'm reading through the first paragraph and I am thinking to myself "daggum, this about hit the nail on the head" then, being the slow reader that I am, Dr. Daugherty interupts before I am done reading to say, "So how accurate do you feel like these interpretations are?" Then procedes to tell us everyone got the same interpretation, but because they were common experiences and generally free to interpretation statements, we saw in them the similarities to our own experiences. Punked again.

now i just need to pull one over on someone...

"Thank God I'm a Country Boy..."

No...I'm not watching Son in Law...

So, I'm sitting here, enjoying the fact there is no class because of Election Day...I've been almost entirely unproductive...and naturally, I start listening to John Denver...actually I don't really know what moved me to do so, but I came across the classic "Take Me Home Country Roads"...West Virginia's state song.

I'm from West Virginia...I have very fond memories of West Virginia as a child, but honestly, I cannot imagine who I would be if I had lived there my whole life. We moved when I was 8, so all those vital, character forming stages like middle school were in Myrtle Beach, but sometimes I try to think about how my life would be if I were still in West Virginia and I just can' t do it. The things that most form my personality I never would have experienced or been a part of if I lived there. I don't know where I'm going with this...I'd like to go visit West Virginia I think.

Welcome to the Office

So today I was introduced to my new favorite TV show, The Office. Seriously, I had tears pouring out of my eyes during a few of the episodes.

I must say, themed parties really just are more fun, we should have them more often. Katie B and Grace...here's to you!

Good party, co-workers. See you Monday, 9 sharp.

The working boys of Rock Hill.

Katie Katie and Brooke Inc.

Katie and I after a hard-days work. We got the Dundee for wearing ties.

Best Boss Ever and Assisant to the Regional Director

Right Hand Day

So, today was more or less one of the best days ever...just one of those days when things just seem to go right and beyond.

First, the EAGLE has landed. Katie B and I watched the installation of the eagle statue...that's right, we were part of Winthrop history, we got interviewed and everything. Naturally, I dubbed myself student representative and wanted to get in on some handshake action with DiGorgio, but it failed and we just stood back and kept ourselves entertained for the entire hour and fifteen minutes we spent waiting for this to go down.

Work was rather entertaining. I got a lot of reading done in Harry Potter and I got interviewed for the Winthrop channel to talk about the TRiO program and what I do as a tutor. That's right, I'm pretty much famous around these parts.

THEN...I witnessed a truly momentous occasion. Stephen cut his hair, and I was there to witness it. It looks good, I think a new stage of life is going to be beginning.

But wait, things get better. Dinner...let me just say, total UPGRADE. Thomson was serving steak, and it was good steak....really good steak...with A1 sauce and steak fries. The tea was good AND they had dirt cups for dessert. This is all on a Friday night mind you...I never eat in Thomson but the cafeteria gods were with us tonight.

Katie B and I hit up an improv comedy show after all of this and it really made me wish I had pursued the whole acting thing a little more. I really enjoy performing, and I'm pretty alright at it, I'm comfortable with it. Although, I don't think the theatre scene or lifestyle is really for me...but part of me would like to dabble in that a little more.

Then the night topped off with HIGH QUALITY hanging out with Lil Katie and Mags. Ahh, we never get to hang out just us these days...and what better way to do that then with The Notebook. That movie gets me everytime...I won't lie...I teared a little.

After the movie we just sat on the couch, three in a row, and looked at my scrapbook from freshman year. We've grown up, and pretty soon we're going to be real grown-ups and that is a scary thought.

And now, I am going to sleep in my comfy little university provided bed, with clean sheets and everything as Queen sings me sweet lullabyes.

gloriously silly

so i am sitting here...well i was laying on my bed, completely ready to go to sleep and wanting to get a good night's sleep yet I find myself wide awake in an absolutely gloriously giddy mood...just sort of tickled with life and my own silliness i suppose. the sort of mood that makes me want to listen to catchy pop songs and dance around my room in my pjs...wait, i already did that.

i love when good moods just blindside you!

life really is good....God is good...he loves me...and you too.

Things from years ago

Right now I am watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on the Disney channel. I haven't seen this movie in years, I love it, but it's been awhile.

However, while I am sitting here I can't help but think back to when this movie first came out in theatres. Man, did Harry Potter hit the world big time. So much publicity surrounding the books and then all the excitement when the movie came out. Ahh, but what I really remember is that on opening night my mom took my little brother and I to see the movie. Going to the movies with mom was always a little bit of a treat but I just remember her taking us to go even though she hadn't read the books and probably had no real desire to see it. But we were there, with all the other excited kids of all ages hanging on every moment of the movie...I can't help but become a little nostalgic.

Also, Thursday night after Crusade we watched The Little Mermaid. Naturally singing took place and the excitement build around the viewing resembled something of the excitment from when I was a little girl. But what was really great was during the part where the chef is chasign Sabstian all over the kitchen I had a very distinct memory from when I was a little girl. My brother's and I made up a game based on that part of the movie. Someone had to be the chef and everyone else was some kind of sea creature waiting to be eaten and you had to get up to the top bunk and under the covers before the chef got you...mind you the game was complete with lines from the movie and four little kids laughing in their best french accents...

sigh, i miss that.

Peabody is an interesting and entertaining place at 2:58 on a Friday afternoon. Boys are just entertaining as they attempt to kill the two minutes before the weight room opens...

you know how when you are a little kid, and something happens that you're involved in and someone asks you a question like "what happened?" and your response is "i don't know."--maybe even you give a little shoulder shrug and that cool walk away thing kids do (or 20 year olds). but then if the person is really lucky you might provide some insight into situation which really is an effort to just provide anything to get whoever to leave you alone and you say something like "devin did it". yeah...astronomy makes me feel like a little kid and i just want to shrug my shoulders and be like "i don't know...God did it."

i really like doing laundry...and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...that's why i plan on making it my profession...

...rain on concrete...

I Don't Normally Get Attached to TV Personalities but...

He's gone...and that really does make me sad.

today i felt quite small

im ok with that

Peru has pretty much been amazing so far. I have had some amazing food and we have had a lot of laughs. Plus we are working on two different churches in Lima and tomorrow afternoon we are going to go to an orphanage to play with the kids and drop off some toys and old clothes and such.

I could enjoy living in Peru I think, I just need to work on my Spanish.

ah, and i ate beef heart today, who would have thunk it?

some of the funniest things that happen at camp, i swear, involve a toilet....last summer it was singing to Will on the toilet...and tonight, it was cleaning the nastiest toilet (in the boy's bathroom mind you) i have ever seen in my entire life...two rolls of toilet paper jammed down in it, an explosive case of human excrement and to top it off the stall door was locked and there was more "mess" on the floor, so i climbed over the stall praying my foot wouldn't go straight in the toilet and got to work...fortunately i can't smell because i have a sinus infection.

at one point, as i was trying to plunge this lovely thing, it splashed....all on my leg...so i ran out and immediately grabbed a bottle of sanitizer and sprayed my leg down...yeah...i love final cleanup

so, finally a week that i can say i was truly satisfied with how it ran. for the most part, no major glitches or scheduling conflicts...most everything ran just as it ought and overall the kids were pretty into all of the activities...i'm dead tired though, not just from this week but from the summer...it's ok...two more weeks and i will be on my way to Peru...yeah buddy!

i really don't have the brain capacity to compose something of much interest at the moment, so i have decided that i will just post a list of things i have thought about over the past week:

1. i do fear that i shall always struggle with apathy
2. i want a tatoo
3. i am pretty sure that deep down my life goal of being on the real world is still there, although Leann told me about this cool thing called the World Race that sounds pretty awesome.
4. i need a hair cut
5. i'm tired: emotionally. physically. mentally. spiritually.
6. sky diving might go on in december.

i am/was (Jordan just had me turn it down) listening to brevada really loud in the office right now...it's good, i want to hear "urgency", it's kind of where my heart is.

gah what a week, it is definitely the middle of the summer, let me just say that. we had ACA this week, which pretty much determines whether or not we would remain an accredited camp. let's just say monday, tuesday, and wednesday I experienced some of the most intense stress and pressure i've ever felt. by lunch on wednesday Gene was painting it as if we were really in a tight spot adding just more stress and caused me to prepare for the worst, failing. at about 5 that afternoon he called Jordan and I into his office, informed us of the "case of the stupids" we as a staff had that day, then let us know that we got a 100%...by the grace of God only, man, I had no choice but to cry. we also had The Difference from SWU in this week which is always a joy and it was quite sad to see them go this afternoon.

i feel like spiritual moral is kinda low around these parts and that there is the same underlying tension there has been for the past few weeks. part of it, i know, is because i am not with the kids as much as the counselors so i don't get to see the same growth as they do. i feel like God is really breaking me and teaching me and it's been tough, I can honestly say I haven't enjoyed the lesson but I know He is going to strengthen me, plus, I've kind of known a breaking was on the horizon for a while now.

in so many ways though God is blessing things here at Rockfish. we had so many kids come to know Christ this week and it's so exciting. I got to hang out with some way cool operation purple girls and minister to them some. there is laughter. it didn't rain. we passed ACA. so yeah. my thought process is sort of farting out right now.

not the best day ever, one day things will just work....

My Motherland is Ghe-tto

We walked into Brooklyn yesterday, over the bridge, and of course yelling over the side (well as close to the side as we could get) just like they do in Newsies. We also found a statue of Horace Greeley and did a brief reinactment of a Newsies dance sequence....you know, it's just how we roll.

But yes...yesterday was the most bizarre, out of whack, yet amazingly entertaining day ever. We caused a car accident (not at all a serious one) because some dude was staring at us from out his car window while attepting to drive, thus causing him to run smack into the back of the van in front of him.

Then we missed out on the time of our life with this creepy old man in Brooklyn who stopped us on the street.

We made an attempt to get to Coney Island which resulted in riding the subway back to Manhattan, switching to a train going in the right direction, and then re-entering Brooklyn and eventually making our way to Coney Island...a ride which would not have been complete without silly middleschool and highschool boys trying to look cool and tough in front of us.

Coney Island is quite an interesting place....not at all glamorous....seriously, not at all. The main attraction was a game called "Shoot the Freak"...with a live human target and an obnoxious guy with a microphone. We did eat at the famous Nathans and get a funnel cake and got to do some people watching, so the day was well spent.

Oh yes, and did I mention in some way shape or form we always seem to end up in Chinatown.

Today we were all dragging but determined to see more of the city. We hit up the Tenament Museum which was really cool. A man on the tour with us actually lived in the neighborhood when back in the day so it was really neat to hear his stories. We also did some last day galavanting about the city and then called it an early day to get back to clean up and pack.

We are leaving at 5:15 in the morning and I really ought to be in bed but I am suprisingly not really tired...my body is just exhausted...

Either way, I believe I shall head to bed...good night dears

If you were aiming to shoot an arrow through my heart........BULLSEYE

Thank you Chinatown...I am now officially the owner of a hot pink "Prada" bag...I love New York.

today was our Big City Day. We went to see "The Producers" which was pretty amazing and then grabbed dinner in Times Square, complete with a quite wonderful honkin' huge piece of cheesecake. We also wore dresses, which is always a great thing.

I saw the movie Say Anything for the first time tonight, I must say, I enjoyed quite a lot and it had potential to go on my list of favorite movies.

anywho, i'm about to head off to bed.

So New York is pretty sweet I must say. We got in yesterday and pretty much hung out in the apartment for the afternoon and evening, so we called it an early night.

BUT today, we got an early start and hit up the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island which was so good. So much history there and so much more interesting then I remember it. There is just so much personal history there, millions of people went through the same doors I walked through, but it wasn't just some quick check in, it was a long, tedious, and frightening process upon which their entire futures laid.

After all that though we walked around Little Italy and China Town. I invested in a killer pair of aqua sunglasses with purple stripes and a plaid scarf...it's killer, oh and more costume jewelry...i'm such a sucker.

anywho, tomorrow I believe will be our chill day in Central Park which will entail peeing at the Plaza Hotel, riding the carousel, and eating a hotdog from a vendor. so it should be lots of fun. we also might try to get on TRL, which would be sweet, we're going to ask for Peru money (by the way, if you would like to contribute to the Peru Mission Trip send the money with my name to 226 Camp Rockfish Road Parkton, NC 28371 and make the check out to Rockfish Outdoor Center for it to be tax deductable).

well i'm out, early morning...

ahh so much to write but not the motivation to do it all...

most importantly, the first week of camp went awesome. It was a good learning time for a lot of our new staff and busy for those of us on support staff because we were running program like crazy. for example, I lead 25 hours worth of GCC this week...go me, i'm so pro...

we had two teams in, one from IWU and another from Bethany Bible College who were SO awesome, we tried to buy the one team from BBC but it didn't work out. we were really blessed to have such hard workers come help us out...good servants and tons of fun to have around.

it was good to have kids in, there is always a good energy when kids finally come to camp, even though staff training brings its stresses and worries, kids are such a good reminder of why we're doing what we're doing.

I had one ROTC girl who seemed to warm up to me and I am hoping to get an email from her soon. She was pretty much amazing and seemed to be open and searching. The ROTC kids were wonderful, some of the most amazing kids I've worked with at camp. Sometimes I feel like God is really calling me to work with the military...I don't want to be in the military, but between Operation Purple and this week with the ROTC I just see the hurt and love to hang out with those kids.

anywho, tomorrow Jordan, Petra, and I are making our way up to the BIG APPLE BABY!! That's right, 6 days in NYC and the town will never be the same!

tis all for now, more later

p.s. zac hanson is getting married

Camp Has Officially Started

Kids came today...camp has officially begun...pray...things are kinda going nutso around these parts, but the kids seem to be having fun...more later

p.s. umm yeah...mail me stuff

Another Summer

So here I am, once again reporting from the lovely Rockfish staff lounge, another summer is beginning. Gradually more and more staff are getting here, a lot of new people, which is exciting, summer is going to be interesting, challenging, and I have a feeling really hot.

God's bringing the kids now we gotta bring the service.

Adam Seate had a good sermon today it was the third part of a three part series called Mission Impossible. He covered three things that we all should know and practice.

1. God has already called us. He calls sinners and unusual people to do his work.

2. God isn't going to change the world by Himself, to complete our mission we have to step up and do it.

3. Work Together, as a body, to bring people Christ and bring Christ to people.

He talked about Mark 2:1-12 and he focused on the last verse about the people being amazed and never having seen what they saw (the four friends lowering the paralytic through the roof to see Jesus). Adam talked about how they weren't amazed so much at the healing but that they probably had never seen four people work together for the sole purpose of bringing a person to Christ. A different perspective, I like it. Both Jordan and I thought it would be something worthwhile to share with the staff...I will admit, I have some anxiousness about the summer, but we all have to be working hard to make this work. So we'll see how things go.

maybe not...keep your fingers crossed

well, pretty much all my favorite camp shirts, most of my winthrop shirts, my tiedyed capris and a killer pair of orange track pants are gone...

can i have a crappier day please...

I, Brooke Currie, solemnly swear to
1) not break, lose, or scratch the recently purchased one millionth pair of shades for the year
2) not overpack for camp

Harry Potter number 5 is officially completely. I feel like a bad fan, it taking me this long to get through the 5th book and all, but there are still a few days before camp to dig into the 6th and get myself up to snuff.

it has been far to long since i've lost myself in a book...where i have seriously spent hours reading, unable to put it down...it's a good feeling...i also discovered one of my absolute favorite books as a child in the garage...i think i need to read it too.

I'm Just Going to Post This, Do With It What You Like

226 Camp Rockfish Road
Parkton, NC 28371

I will be there in a week (May 16) until August 16th

I Would Like to Have a Chat with the Dalai Lama

"We do not believe people are good because we see that they are good, but by believing that people are good we eliminate our own fear and thus we can intimately associate with them. To believe in the compassionate power of the Supreme Being which we cannot see is a discipline in order to believe in the invisible good of others.

Civilization has nothing to do with having electic lights, airplanes, or manufacturing atomic bombs. It has nothing to do with killing human beings, destroying things or waging war. Civilization is to hold one another in mind in mutual affection and respect." -Nichidatsu Fujii

"The Bodhisattva loves all living beings as if each were his only child."
-Vimalakirtinirdesha Sutra 5

I wouldn't say that I am a complete inclusivist, but I do know that if I were a Religion major as opposed to a Psychology major, my senior thesis would TOTALLY be on parallels between Buddhism and Christianity. Granted, there are some major differences (karma, rebirth) but honestly, if a Buddhist were to come to know Jesus I don't think he or she would have to change much about how they view and treat the world around them, in fact, I think they would be better at living out the Gospel than a lot Christians do, myself included.

If we as Christians really had our stuff together, we would love and respect a lot more. We would reach out into the world like Jesus did. We would keep our minds pure and not hate in our hearts. We would spend hours of initimate time with the Father and see the face of Christ in everyone, because they too are children of God.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" -Ephesians 4:32

next to playing the accordian, african dancing is my life calling...

in the words of my dear pal katie...

piss.

feel the burn

the following entry is something i never thought i would have written or even thought.

i love being sore...i love working my muscles and pushing my body...i love leaving the gym knowing that while tonight it's ok, tomorrow you're gonna feel it....i love the tight muscles, the hot showers that follow a good workout, S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G, endorphins...it's all wonderful

this all coming from the girl who two years ago did one hour of yard work and seriously thought i would never get out of bed....

ha, i laugh at my former self

do you ever have those kind of days where you just can't seem in inhale enough? not due to some horrid, allergy induced congestive state but just because there is something so intoxicating about the air outside and you just can't get enough.

today was one of those days, well, more like this afternoon and evening. right before i was walking to work, the rain began, and there are few smells as great as rain on concrete. then coming back from work, campus just smelled so fresh, that smell that comes after a good rain...i can't describe it, but i just couldn't inhale enough of it....

broadway has reached a new something...the wedding singer has been turned into a broadway musical, that's right kids, broadway. i love the movie, but i am skeptical of it's ability to be a worthwhile broadway hit.

anyone who wants to argue that psychology is not the best (and most fun) major here at winthrop, i ask you this: did you sing "You Are My Sunshine" as a class to the class across the hall? I am going to guess, probably not.

is it completely lame that i very seriously considered buying a copy of "Free to Be You and Me" tonight? do you people even know what that is? if not, you are lame.

glitter nailpolish takes me back to middleschool...i'm pretty sure i need to reinvest in sparkly blue...

Cheddar Cheese Triscuts are the most mysterious snack food you will ever eat...you won't hate them and i'm pretty sure you won't love them, but you'll keep eating them.

only three more days and I'll be at camp...ahh, can't wait...good times are on the horizon.

someone make me focus pleeeease.

when a child you love and haven't seen for more than 6 months gives you a hug and says "i miss you so much" it takes all that's in you to not cry and never want to leave.

Puff Daddy's doing commercials for ProActive...that's gansta I don't care who ya are.

i don't believe i can express how i LOATHE the Tennessee Volunteers


down with the cursed orange!

in honor of waking up to find A Walk To Remember on TV, I have declared this Nicholas Sparks, indulge in the love story, get a good cry out, watch The Notebook day.

it wouldn't hurt if people learned to use the "no harm no foul" principle a little more often.

i really need to stop watching the rockfish video so much, it's making me miss camp in a bad way.

Spring break is so close that I can taste it and let me tell you I have big plans on the horizon. The Entertainment Schedule is as follows:

* walk 2 miles every day well all but 3 days out of 11
* get a tan (weather permitting)
* watch A LOT of TLC suprised?
* watch the entire season of Project Runway complete with Season Finale well not the entire season but i did see the finale
* bake lemon drop cookies my recipe=not good, trying mom's saturday
* bake scones
* hair cut
* take my mom out for a mother/daughter dinner
* watch The Notebook, alone :)
* write a paper it just makes me laugh i even thought i'd get this one done
* read The Cancer Journals
* study for two tests when I get back
* journal
* have breakfast with God every morning let's say midnight snack instead
* catch up on camper mail
* see the McCrackins and it was wonderful
* enjoy the privledge of going to bed as early as I want ha, i couldn't get to bed before 12 a single night but i did get to sleep in
* take the time to get ready I even curled my hair!

i am going to put this out there: immaturity is the root of all evil.

perhaps not "evil" in its truest sense, but evil to the degree that it is too often the root of my frustration. and i am not talking about immaturity as in, goofing off sometimes or knowing how to be silly, i mean just people not knowing how to act like adults or at least conduct themselves properly. it's always bothered me, and now more than ever it seems to be dominating.

why can't people pick up after themselves? why are some of the kids in my honors classes some of the most immature kids i interact with? why do some girls honestly not realize the world is bigger than what daddy can buy and who you will marry? why can't parents discipline their children? why am i more capable of doing the job of people who are supposed to be instructing me? why are guys so stupid?

i think a root of a lot of problems with the church lie in immaturity. people not seeking to know God more deeply, settling for contentment, not understanding the cross, men not knowing how to lead, women being ok with that (which is an issue i could spend hours on). imagine a world if we all acted like we ought to, the way God lays it out for us.

i just pray that believers can ask God for maturity in faith, realizing that God and his kingdom is so much bigger than our Christian friends and church on sunday and campus ministries and catchy t-shirts and carrying our Bible to class, not that any of those things are bad in and of themselves, but what if behind all those things we had a deep knowledge of God's soverignty and power and love and might?

alone in my room, i'm the star of my own broadway musical...


...the things newsies does for my soul...

DUMB DUMB DUMB

more to come later

"you have to wear your sperry's because you don't have rainbows"

It's Prep Day Boys and Girls

i'm going to write a book.

despite his womanizing ways, affairs, four marriages, and a notoriously almost bipolar personality, Frank Sinatra sure knows how to tug at a girls heart, perhaps that's why he is sometimes called the Sultan of Swoon or Swoonatra.

also, did anyone else notice to birds singing today? perhaps they were just espeically loud or i have been deaf to it before but it was like everytime i went outside all i could hear was birds and as i sat in my classes i could hear them chirping. i can't say it wasn't wonderful, but that many birds kidna freaks me out...i blame hitchcock

there is really no reason for couples to hold hands while they're trying to eat...it's not really romantic, it's not practical, and unless one person is a lefty well, it's just a hassle.

it's also lame when people push the handicap button on the doors just because they don't want to hold it for the person behind them.

"Lord, let your judgment, pass over us, Lord let your love hover near,

don't let your sweet mercy, pass over us, let this blood cover over us here"

-andrew peterson

there are plenty of things in the world that sadden my heart. honestly, i have no intention of going through the whole list right now, but one particular thing has been on my mind the past few days.

this particular thing, is the one thing that hits the heart of every girl i have ever come in contact with but at the same time will bring almost any group of girls together, in a sad, but honest kind of way...it's body image. body image is something i don't usually rant or dwell on, but it's something that is very much an issue for the heart of every girl.

my developmental movement class is full of girls i normally wouldn't hang out with. in fact, it's one of those classes i would really prefer to sit quietly through and not really deal with anyone in. however, it's also a classes based entirely on group work, so i have gotten to know some of the girls.

the other day, by i'm sure God's intention, i found myself sitting and doing my observation with the two girls in the class i had built up some ridiculous and judgemental distance from. the observation took all 5 out of the 30 minutes we had to sit there, so naturally, we just began to chat. it started with talking about clothes, because it's a PE class we were dressed out and were talking about where to get nice but cheap workout clothes. which then led to the subject of working out, which inevitably led to talking about why we worked out and what in particular drove us to feel like we needed to.

we were all pretty much in the same boat, not girls particularly obsessed with our weight and appearance so much, but worried enough to have days and times when we just didn't feel pretty or just were less than happy with how we looked.

it's sad, because even some of the most godly women i know, who are so satisfied in their relationship with God, still struggle with this problem. Captivating spends time on this and acknowledges it as Satan's attack on the fairer sex, which it is.

i really don't have a profound conclusion or solution to the problem, so i will leave it alone, but, it does make me sad that there are plenty of girls out there who struggle with this way more than i do and who furthermore don't know their status as the princess of a king who is enthralled with their beauty.



in order to not leave everyone depressed...i believe we should all talk like the gamblers on Guys and Dolls (starring good ol' frank sinatra).

because yesterday was valentine's day and i KNOW you want to know my thoughts on love

after about a week and a half of irritating mental stress, all but a religion test is in the past, and i feel obligated to allow my brain some quality farting time, at least academically. not to mention, i only have twenty minutes before work and there really is no need to crack open a book just to close it again.

sigh.

it amazes me how, as someone who calls herself a Christian, I can do such a shotty job of fulfilling the most central element of the Gospel--love. If you take NOTHING else from Jesus' message, take love, it's what he was all about, it's what we are called to be all about, but we fail at it so often.

i have a really hard time loving some people, I have no good reason usually, maybe they just have a bad habit or something I don't like, but in general, i just don't care enough to love. and what a poor reflection of God to not love my neighbor?

it's funny how not matter how long you have been a Christian, sometimes you still have so many of the basics to learn. I really have just been praying for God to soften my heart to love, to revel not only in his love for me, but to love my brothers and sisters all around me, to take the focus off me and just pour love into others.

gah, i don't do emotions well, but man is my God an emotional God!

p.s. this really has nothing to do with valentine's day

tulips and lemondrop cookies...

Let's face it, the thumbs up is dorky. It is, perhaps, the silliest gesture in our culture, but we all do it, and it's always dorky.

All the Small Things

drinking the recommended 68 oz. of water a day; choosing wheat over white; turning off the water while you brush your teeth; going for a walk; using one paper towel instead of 2 or 3; recycling; pray on your way from one class to another; smile; hold doors; say thank you; say bless you; go to bed before midnight; floss; grab fruit instead of icecream; s-t-r-e-t-c-h....

there is a lot of credit to the small things. We hear about it often, how "love is in the details" and how the "little things" are what matter most, and while those are wholly true, it's kind of warm picture of all the little things that are done unto us, that we appreciate, and that's not what I'm quite driving at. I am saying, that there is a lot of credit to the small, conscious choices that we make. Living a healthier life style often starts not with joining a gym or buying lots of special food and work out equipment, but with a few small choices that you otherwise wouldn't make. Often, that's all it takes. And while the attempts may be meager, there are plenty of choices we can make to do our part and help out the environment a little. Changing someone's day can be the matter of a smile or picking up their pencil when it falls--no skin off your back, barely a second of your time, yet, it might just restore someone's faith in humanity. All of the many small things can sometimes just make the world, and life, a little bit better.

I truly believe, God appreciates detail, He does not ignore the small things. An honest and heartful "Lord, help me" is often times better than clouding a prayer with all the right words and format. Cutting of the TV or signing off the internet 15 minutes early to open the Word, God notices things like that. Neither will cause any damage to your life functioning (i promise) and it might even just make things a little better.

you might be asking though, why such credit for the small things, why do they deserve such acknowledgement? well the reason is, the small things are the first things to get shrugged off or ignored when we just don't feel like it or if we're feeling particularly mad at the world. Because the little things often go unnoticed and because the little things require discipline, self discipline in a way that, because they are small, we must constantly make the choice to do them. the big things we don't ignore, because they are there, they are in our face. we often make huge plans that we invest so much time, money, and effort into that, well, to ignore them would just be kind of stupid. it's there, it's prominent, you might as well pay attention to it. the small things though, the details, they are often overlooked and taken for granted.

the credit really comes in though, with the fruit these small things bear, sometimes in a way only you will know, or sometimes in a way you will never know, the small things are things, like small children, that just sort of wiggle right up to your heart, the small things are returned with small things, those quiet moments when God makes a cloud formation just for you, or lets you witness something funny, just because He wants to make your day better. The little niche in your heart, the one reserved especially for small things, it's God, letting you know that you're not going unnoticed (after all, we're all pretty small) and that He loves you.

the discipline of the small things though, the every day decision, the conscious effort, ahh, tis a great discipline to learn kids...there is not much that we can do that really merits much, the small things are about all we can do, but, like good ol' Mother Teresa said:

"we can do no great things; only small things with great love."

all i can do is smile...i have kid art for my wall.

"The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces" Isaiah 25:8

This verse, ah, I can't really describe the comfort it brought me as I read it. What better picture of God than as a Sovereign Father? Words like "sovereign" and "Lord" highlight God's power, his majesty, his strength...but the action, the wiping of tears, it's so paternal, so loving, so so gentle.

I read this and just got this picture of a little child (all of us) crying and then this strong index finger, from a strong hand, slightly bent to delicately wipe and catching a tear, no real words, no face, just gentleness.

How great is that, so much power and so much love and so much delicacy in one God, one Father, completely gentle without losing an ounce of his power.

I really hope that one day my passport will be full, all of the pages used up with stamps from all the various places I hop to travel to one day.

I was looking through a desk drawer today and came across my Epcot Passport from when I was 8 years old and my family and I took a trip to Disney. It was a pretty sweet idea, you got a Disney Passport and at each country at Epcot you could put in stickers and the employees would write a message in your passport in the language of the country.

I want to go back and do that again, I think it would be good times.

I want to write a manifesto, of what, I have yet to decide.

"Remember your childhood...and pass it on

I remember as a kid pretending to have "discovered" buried treasure in my backyard. I always wanted to find some amazing discovery that no one knew about. It's that moment when you come upon something so new to your senses and experiences that can be so overwhelming. Sometimes, its the journey to the discovery that gives us the satisfaction more than the discovery itself. Other times, its realizing that you may be the first, if not only, person to have this discovery. So, do you remember when you discovered something for the first time? If you think about it, everyday life is filled with discovery. That is if we are willing to look. For whether its a treasure, another land, true love, a matching sock, or even destiny...its like finding a secret doorway that you never knew was there...and then walking through it."

a little joy from some borrowed reading.

From Hook

Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.

Soggy Sweatpants

there is a pair of soaking wet tevas outside 204 in Margaret Nance, not to mention grass on my icy cold toes and a pair of very soggy sweatpants in the dryer.

honestly, it kinda makes me feel like being poetic.

it's funny how the soaked bottoms of my jeans was of utmost annoyance to me today, yet sitting here, only freshly changed from being soaked from head to toe, I am in a complete state of happy.

it sorta feels like a scene from some movie like Garden State, some sort of liberation from something, although you don't really know what but it's just one of those moments you know you should commit to memory.

it really is a beautiful night, not nearly as cold as the gray day and rainy weather would lead you to believe. the puddles glistened as we ran and stomped through them. the whole time i felt like i should yell something at the top of my lungs but i didn't know what.

at one point, after much stomping, i just stood under this stream of water pouring off of the roof. it was amazing, refreshing, exciting.

i do believe, that one of the most attractice looks come from being soaked head to toe with once done hair askew and raindrops dripping off your nose--that, i just got caught in the rain and i enjoyed it kind of look. except we didn't get caught in the rain--the rain caught our attention.

perhaps one day i shall dance in the rain, in a glowing parking lot or perhaps a field.

thank you katie and brandy...my night is now perfect.

I'm tellin' ya

the acorns are out to get us. They hit you on the head while you're walking to class...you slip and fall as they roll under your feet, and I'm sure they have dented their fair share of cars...what the hey.

I just want to say, that sometimes good ol' M&M's serve a greater medicinal purpose than drugs ever can.

Part of me really wants to teach kindergarten

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, like a five-year-old's enthusiasm for life, and that is why, despite my many years of being adamantly opposed to teaching, deep down a part of me really wants to be a kindergarten teacher.

Earlier today, I was sitting at my desk, studying for a philosophy test, when the sound of children hits my ears from outside my window. Naturally, I drop everything to go look and there, right outside my window were 20 or so probably 4 and 5 year olds, collect leaves, kicking dirt, twirling in circles, giggling, screaming, all the with utmost excitement. It brought be such a joy to hear that, and to get to watch it. I couldn't help but smile, and honestly, part of me wanted to cry.

They were collecting leaves that had changed colors to take back to class. So all these youngin's were racing and hurrying to gather as many leaves as they could (as if there aren't a million just sitting out there) and ever so proudly carry them back to their teacher, complete with some comment about how pretty or cool or yellow their leaf was.

Then the wind blew, and I've never heard sweeter squeals of excitement as a whole new batch of leaves came showering down on their heads. It was beautiful.

Luckily, right as I had to leave to go take my test, they too were moving on to some other adventure of fall.

Man, We're Good

It was a tough, close game, but we pulled through with our mad skills, keeping up our record as
2-0, we're pretty amazing.









I want to write about things other than football but don't seem to be able to find the time.

"Let us Speak then of love...

What does it mean to 'love' something? If a man asks a woman 'do you love me?' and if after a long and awkward pause and considerable deliberation, she replies with wrinkled brow ' well, up to a certain point, under certain conditions, to a certain extent,' then we can be sure that whatever it is she feels for this poor fellow it is not love and this relationship is not going to work out. For if love is the measure, the only measure of love is love without measure (Augustine). One of the ideas behind love is that it represents a giving without holding back, an 'unconditional' commitment, which marks love with a certain excess. Physicians counsel us to eat and exercise in measured moderation and not to overdo either. But there is no merit in loving moderately, up to a certain point, just so far, all the while watching out for number one...If a woman divorces a man because he turned out to be a failure in his profession and just did not measure up to the salary expectations she had for him when they married, if she complains that he did not live up to his end of the 'bargain,' well, that is not the sort of till-death-do-us-part, unconditional commitment that is built into marital love and the marital vow. Love is not a bargain, but unconditional giving; it is not an investment, but a commitment come what may. Lovers are people who exceed their duty, who look around for ways to do more than is required of them. If you love your job, you don't just do the minimum that is required; you do more. If you love your children, what would you not do for them? If a wife asks a husband to do her a favor, and he declines on the grounds that he is really not duty bound by the strict terms of the marriage contract to do it, that marriage is all over except for the paper work. Rather than rigorously defending their rights, lovers readily put themselves in the wrong and take the blame for the sake of preserving their love. Love, St. Paul said in his stunning hymn to love, is patient, kind, not puffed up or boastful; it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor. 13). A world without love is a world goverened by rigid contracts and inexorable duties, a world in which--God forbid!--the lawyers run everything. The mark of really loving someone or something is unconditionality and excess, engagement and commitment, fire and passion. Its opposite is a mediocre fellow, neither hot nor cold, moderate to the point of mediocrity. Not worth saving. No salt."

-John Caputo, On Religion

This is what I am reading for Religion class....I'm so excited.

Caputo is searching to explain St. Augustine's questions "what do I love when I love God?" And he further concludes that "If you do not love God, what good are you."

So what do we love when we love God...do we even really offer God the fire and passion, a lovers love? What do we replace our love with, what are we wasting our affections on?