We're Dead!

Strike a Pose

Fly Katie Fly

Katie "breaking into" Little Chapel

We took that tank!

I pretty much conquered this rock

The Proposal

Lil Hobos sleep on a bench

I decided on Redhead

Heh, so I dyed my hair tonight. Well Maggie did it, but it was my hair.

Yeah, I've never done it before and I have been pondering it over for awhile, so I found this stuff that washes out in like 8-10 shampoos so I figured it was pretty safe, nothing to permanent. But yeah, I's got reddish hair now. It's a fun little change. I need to buy a new towel though.

Taken by accident but looks cool

Not a good picture, but you can see the color

Can ya see the red?

Yeah, it was a little messy

Midnight Madness

I must say, the excitement is never lacking on Metro nights when the Winthrop kids are involved.

See, once a month the Charlotte Metro Campus Crusades meet for a big meeting, with worship and a speaker, plenty of laughter and fellowship--good times. So, a big group of us head out to Charlotte for the meeting, having a good time, and whatnot and after the meeting is over, as usual hang out in the hallway for a bit. Coke bottles fly, Katie and I are about to brawl, there's dancing, jumping and the like, conversation, pizza, you know. Now the only logical step from this point is to head to Krispy Kreme as usual, so we did, but it being a Friday night and all and us all being college kids with nothing else better to do, we were not content to end the night there.

So, where do we decide to go from there? Good question, the answer is Toys-r-Us. Now normally they close at 9 and by this point it is definitely moving into the 11 o'clock hour, but apparently there was this event going on and we all (all 14) decided to go check it out.

As some of you may have known, that at 12:00 this morning, as in midnight between the first and second of April, there was a little event called Midnight Madness as the local Toys-r-Us in which the brand new Star Wars toys were going to be sold. Not an event I would normally frequent, I am not even much of a Star Wars fan, but we had nothing better to do. It turned out to be quite an experience. When we got there, there was already a line forming, and the whole squad of us made quite a crowd. Soon kids is costumes showed up, there were businessy people, girls, fathers and sons, people of what seemed to come from all different walks of life, all gathered in the name of Star Wars. How nice.

Since we arrived at 11:30ish we had some time to kill, which for an easily entertained group, was not much of a predicament. I was teaching some people how to waltz in the parking lot for some of the time. Other times we were just talking and laughing. It was good...then the magic hour came and we were all allowed to enter the store and behold the beauty.

Heh, there was no mad rush or fist fights or anything, but definitely a large crowd of people all searching frantically through the racks and boxes of action figures. It was incredibly entertaining, I must say, an experience to remember. You can check the pictures out below, us Cru kids know how to have some fun man!

Well, I could elaborate more I suppose, but I am quite tired now, so I am going to get some sleep.

Yes, we definitely had 14 people in line for this glorious event

Maggie, Lauren, and Laura checking out Easter baskets

Do you know where we were at midnight?

Ahh yes, this is the release of the new Star Wars toys

Patrick and Stephen got their toys

Dave and Katie striking a pose

It's me

Brooke Currie--Teen Sensation

Turn Up the Latino Heat

Geez oh man what a night!

I do not think I have laughed so incredibly hard as I did tonight in a really long time; especially of my own self-entertainment, no real outside stimuli, unless you count Maggie.

Not only did I rehash an old addiction and turned on some professional wrestling tonigh, yes, as in WWE and as in I definitely still remembered HBK's finishing move (sweet chin music). So I was thoroughly entertained by myself and the middle school version of myself who was incredibly addicted to such a thing, not that is bad, and I admit, it's still quite a fun diversion, but still. So that in and of itself was entertaining.

But that is not all.

For some reason, I actually know the reason but it's far too complicated to explain here, but Maggie and I got on this "latino" kick which involves poorly executed Mexican accents and many a comment on "latino heat" and "latin lovers".

Man, I have not laughed so hard...I was definitely crying, not just watery eyes, but tears rolling out and laughing out loud to the point of no noise. Ahh it was great. Surely people must have thought we were high or something due to the fact that one of us would mutter some comment, barely getting it out, and then laugh uncontrollably for 5 minutes or so.

Good times. God blesses us with laughter that is so for sure.

P.S. And I learned that there is actually an official pot smoking magazine today called High Times...steve hurley is a fountain of infinite wisdom ::wink::

Friday Afternoon

I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my time after such a stressful week locked up in my room. Ahh sleeping in the sunshine, playing model, movie and dinner. Good times.

Why not climb a tree in a skirt?

Under the tree

Me and Erica

Debutantes

Get her Erica

Katie and Me in the sunshine!

Lil Katie

How beautiful does Erica look?

Done

I can't even really fathom why I would sit here and spend any longer in front of my computer screen when that has been where my face has been glued for this entire week.

I have been an academic hermit, completely locked away in my little room, coming out only for food and class. It's been rather horrible, but I feel incredibly accomplished.

So I am sitting here having successfully written a TWENTY ONE page paper. Holy cow, I didn't think I had that in me. It has been stressful, that's for sure, but I wouldn't say it was by any means a horrible experience and for some reason I don't think this will be the last time such an assignment or project lays on my shoulders.

Sometimes I really hate how consuming academics can be. This has always been a fault of mine, that even though I don't really see myself as an over achiever or perfectionist, I tend to get very, Very, VERY focused and consumed with my schoolwork. And a lot of the times it's not neccesarily that I desire to be so involved in my work, but it's so unavoidable. I mean, I am paying to be here, I am investing time and money into these classes and therefore I have to do well. I am capable of doing well and I can't allow myself to only put in any less than my best work.

Sometimes that kind of work ethic is as controlling my overactive conscious ::wink:: even though I would say both are for my good and I appreciate them in the long run.

I am ready to get back to normal life though. I am ready to live off of something other than processed sugar and caffine. I am ready to be able to just visit with people again, hang out. I am ready to be able to pick up my cell phone or get on Instant Messenger and not feel guilty about what I should be getting done. Heck, I am dying to get back to Cardio Sculpt and ::gasp:: even going running with Maggie. And please God let there be sunshine next week because I am ready to spend a few hours soaking up those rays.

Ahh, I am going to sleep so well tonight, having the peace of accomplishing something so big and putting forth a good effort.

Tomorrow afternoon my brain is farting...BIG TIME.

My Mother

So my mom is going to Las Vegas for Spring Break. For some reason I find that really amusing to say. I'm really happy she is going though, she never really takes any time off for herself and from what I hear this is her first "adult" vacation she has ever been able to go one. I mean we always took family vacations and stuff, but I never remember her and my dad or even just her ever taking a weekend off or anything, so I am glad she is getting to do this with some of her friends. Now, I just have to trust she won't go too crazy and get married or something :) But she is getting a facial...good for her.

You know, my mom is a pretty amazing lady. Now, don't get me wrong, she is one of the few people who can get under my skin quicker than anything, but she's pretty amazing. I mean, not only has she spent WAY MORE than her fair share of hours in the car taking me back and forth to camp and all the other places I've needed (or sometimes just wanted to go) that definitely weren't the top of her to-do list BUT she's also been the perfect hostess to up to seven extra camp kids at a time. She is a single mom with THREE kids in college, and while I'm probably not the best kid ever, my brothers are far more moody and emotional than any girls I know. On top of all the required motherly stuff shes in charge of like a million different committees and organizations, heading up the church fundraiser, and is in charge of both the Cub Scout and Boy Scout groups here. Not to mention, she is pretty easy going as far as letting us do pretty much everything we've wanted to do (within reason of course).

So yeah, this is my little "Ode to Mom. " I could go on, but I shall refrain. I'm glad she gets to take a vacation. She deserves it.

It makes me happy

that our room is always so full of laughter. Whether is it just Maggie and I cracking each other up or if we are blessed with the company of some of the other lovely ladies on the hall, our hearts are light in this place. It's nice.

Man

So it's March 1st.

Holy heck! where has the school year gone. In only two months we will be out of school and I would have officially completed my first year of college. When did I get so old, and so accomplished ::smile::

It just completely baffles me how the year has gone by soo quickly. I guess a good portion can be attributed to the fact that I am as happy as I am, as blessed as I am, and as busy as I am (academically or not).

Sometime in the future...when the end of the year is nearer, I am going to reflect on the many ways I have changed over the past year, but for right now...I will relish in what I've got here.

Man, for some strange reason I really missed the Academy today...who would of thunk it?

Need a pick-me-up?

Recite Dashboard lyrics witha British, Scotish, Australian accent.

Guarenteed to bring a smile to your face...worked with Maggie.

Monday Mornings

Don't you hate it when you force yourself out of bed in the morning in order to get to class and then realizing you could have skipped? That would be my current situation as I am sitting here in my computer lab this morning with absolutely nothing to do because I finished all the assigned work last time and even if I wanted to take some kind of initiative and work ahead I can't because it's a project and he hasn't given us the details on it yet. I look around, however, and realize I am not the only one in the same situation. In fact I only see about 2 people actually working on assignments for this class, but I digress.

My weekend, I would say, was an enjoyable one, lot of quality hanging out and relaxation was accomplished, not at all productive on the academic level, but you know. I will get around to all that stuff at a later date.

You know, I would have to say that I am definitely in the right major because people fascinate me. Not that I really want to do anything in the field of psychology, but I like to watch people see how they carry themselves, interact with others, and so on.

Hehe...I remember when I was younger I wanted to be like Harriet the Spy, go around town following people and writing down what they do. I pretty much do that now, minus the cool belt of spy tools. You can get a lot of insight by just watching and listening to people.

Ahh, the glory of sports bras

Tonight we had an adventure...the girls in Margaret Nance know what all it entails but in order to protect everyone's identity and spare everyone some embarrassment, I shall not go into detail, but I do praise God for the sisterhood I have found here (in a very Beta Kappa 3.14, non sorority kind of way ::wink::). There was a round up, girlish giggling, prancing, and an escape from the deathy heat that has overtaken the Nance.

And I will say this: sometimes you just need to lie down on some cold cement to get some perspective.

Lately I have not felt very inspired, I haven't had much to say on anything. I have had plenty of opportunities and encounters with things that normally inspire great things in me such as sunshine, good spiritual conversation, and Crazy Bread from Little Ceasars, but I don't feel like I have had much to say; but plenty to think about. I guess the mood has just been quiet and reflective, pensive I suppose, as of late. I have tried to write, but just didn't feel called, even when I tried to pray it's like nothing would really come out, I have felt so blocked.

But...I think God is trying to have me hear something, and I am not listening to Him well enough, so He's putting a temporary block on a few things so I will just stop for awhile, stop trying to feel inspired, stop trying to hard and reaching so far to hear Him, but to just "be still" and know that He is God.

I Think...

The first coherent thing Maggie said to me this morning were the lyrics:

"Here we go, one more time, everybody's feelin' fine, Here we go
Yes Yes Yes Here we go, N*Sync has got the flow"

That's right ladies and gentlemen, thats N*Sync's "Here We Go" off of their self-titled debut album that came out in what 1998 or something. But you know what? I liked it.

It was upon realizing that that particular song could still bring a smile to my face after not listening to it in well over 4 or 5 years, that I came to my glorious revelation.

I think that everyone should be willing to embrace the dork they once were, or still are, and stop pretending like you didn't enjoy the things we all know you did as a child.

I'm a dork, and I embrace that because even though it sometimes makes me cringe when I read through old diaries, flip through the unplayed CD section, or go through boxes of collected junk like TigerBeat and Bop, there was a very happy child in all that. It is that kind of stuff that allows you when your older to look back and laugh at yourself, get a little embarassed then thank God for the person you've grown up to become.

So today I challenge you to take pleasure in something slightly embarrassing that you enjoyed as a child, and share it with a friend, chances are they secretly still like it too.

I have to post this beautiful and encouraging message because Crystal (whom I love dearly and suffer with in studying ::wink::) sent it to me when I was having a very crappy day Sunday and I am so thankful. I love how God always sends little nuggets of encouragement when we need them most and least expect it.

Giorno di Amor

Ahh...Valentines Day, the day of love...it's kind of sad that people hate it so much or allow it to get them so depressed. Yes, maybe it is a bit commercialized and yeah sometimes watchings all the couples in restuarants can me annoying, but man I love this day.

And what a great day it was...

I have always been a fan of giving Valentines, you know, the silly little cards with cartoons on them that say fun things like "I'm falling for you" or "You're a great Val Pal." Ahh they are little pieces of cardboard that can bring such joy to people's lives. Sure, most people stopped giving them out in like 5th grade when teachers stopped requiring it, but it's something I have continued to do and plan on doing in the future.

I got all kinds of Valentines love today, most of which is nicely posted on my wall for my constant admiration...I've met good people here at school, and build some really great friendships...Thanks God.

And because today is a day worthy of celebration, what is better than getting all dressed up (which includes pretending like I know how to use a curling iron) and going out with a bunch of equally well dressed kids to IHOP...thats right, the International House of Pancakes. There were 9 of us and only 7 other people in the entire place. It was fun though...pigs in a blanket and hashbrowns...mmmmmm.

It was just nice being able to hang out, laugh, sing, and enjoy people's company, that is what I believe Valentines Day should be about, being with people you love, which doesn't mean you have to be romantically involved.

I for one enjoy spreading love.

Ok its late and I really ought to be scooting to bed, but I hope you all had a wonderful day full of love, smiles and encouragement.

God is love, fool. So if today is the day of love, then I guess it's the day of God too.

Bling Ring!

Me and Andrew (man we looked hot)

Me and Lil Katie

Silly Kids

All Smiles

The Ladies

ARG!!

That's all.

Go Ahead, Feel Inspired

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; he is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal."

-Pope John Paul II

The Notebook

Curse good chick flicks!

I don't usually cry in movies, and I am not usually one to enjoy sappy little chick flicks, but man, if you havent seen The Notebook, I recommend you do.

Katie told me it would be good...she was right, thanks lady.

I will be the first to admit that I am a hopeless romantic. I long for the fairy tale romance right along with the rest of the world. Well, perhaps fairy tale isn't the right description because I am not looking for that perfectly wrapped little package of love, weighed down with some illusion of easiness and perfection. No, I want the kind that takes my breath away, tells me when I'm wrong, kicks me in the butt, pushes me to be something better than what I'm doing, and demands hard work. The stuff that makes you cry, laugh, melt, scream, whatever, but at the end of the day you wouldn't have it any other way.

That's kind of how the movie is.

But how can you think about love and NOT think about the author and perfector of love. No, the movie has absolutely no spiritual context, it wasn't any form of Christian message, but God is love and I can't see love without turning my thoughts to God.

God doesn't let go of us, He doesn't give up on us, and His love for us will do miracles. His love is fully sustaining and perfect, bigger than anything we deserve, but He goes further than that in providing us people to love and to love us. He has a perfect love story waiting for all (whether it be of the marriage sort or not), and of course our relationship with Him.

There is a reason why people are so attracted to romance and love. God is love and deep down we are all yearning for God.

I can't wait to be married. Just imagining the kind of person God will bless me with. It exciting, something so worth waiting for and something I definitely don't want to taint with a bunch of other relationships-not at all. I'm just not interested, when God's ready He'll send me the memo.

Ok, I have unleashed the emo kid for long enough, please don't leave any ridiculous, sappy comments. I have done enough of that. Just seek God kids, His love with bless you more and fill you more than any relationship ever could...that whole relationship stuff, just a lovely side blessing He choses to send our way.

In a way I feel sorta dumb for writing this. Don't comment on that either.

Tan Left Arm

If I had to narrow down the list of things I love to three I would say they are:

1. Jesus
2. time well spent with good friends
3. and spending time basking in the sunshine

In reality, the list is much longer than that, but I think that narrows it down pretty well.

I can't even describe how beautiful it was today (I'm sure you people are getting tired of beautiful day entries, but hey sunshine is my drug). It was so warm, warm enough for a t-shirt, capris, AND sandals. It's nice to bust out the brown sandals again. I've been everywhere in those shoes.

But anywho, yes, it was beautiful. I spent two and a half hours out in the sunshine today and it was glorious. I had the shoes off, the David Crowder blasting on the MP3 player, and the Word of God right in front of me. I did some school work too, but mainly, just wrote and took in the beauty of it all.

AND the smell of dirt was on the air. That is such a beautiful smell.

Thugs I tell you

THEE MN girls!

Silly

Don't put your foot in the Tillman fountain Katie

Katie B and Amy all bundled up

Cute kids

Fun in the "snow"

Happy

Guess who is absolutely NOT paying the least bit of attention in her computer lab this morning?

Heh.

You know, sometimes it absolutely amazes me how adamantly against coming to Winthrop I was, when here I am, at Winthrop, and insanely happy. Not just content, but happy, really happy.

I mean seriously, I practically (ok literally) came here kicking and crying (I didn't scream, it's not ladylike), swearing up and down that I would be miserable, yet God provided for me in more ways than I can count. I've grown so much and come to understand things about God I'd never realized. I have an AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING group of people to surround and support me. I'm learning and enjoying what I'm doing. Ahh, it's all kind of hard to describe but I guess that just goes to show that God really does know what He's doing.

I don't think that I would be nearly as happy or have grown so much if I had ended up going to NC State (not that waking up to the beautiful Miss Jordan McCoy and getting to see Lukas, the love of my heart, everyday wouldn't of made me happy). I think the combination of it being SO BIG and already knowing people there wouldn't have forced me to branch out and get to know new and wonderful people like I have here.

And I have decided, it is perhaps one of the greatest compliments when people ask you what you're on just because your happy, in a way its kind of sad though, but still, it means joy is radiating and I hope others will catch the fever.

Latent Conviction

"Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost" -Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

I believe, that one of the biggest problems amongst Christians today, is that too many people, who are calling themselves Christians, and who very well may fully and completely understand and accept Jesus's teaching, keep their faith hidden.

Therefore, because so many aren't going out and expressing their faith, their conviction, the message is not getting out.

Perhaps though, part of the problem is not just a hidden faith, but a lack of true conviction, not really being pushed (or in some cases kicked in the butt by God) to do His will.

We must make our inmost the outmost.

Emerson, speaks much truth in this aspect. Just imagine the revolution that could take place, the "universal sense" that could be achieved, if we just lifted our voices a bit.

Ahh, God's grace and love is soo amazing...how can people not talk about it.

Like it says in Matthew, a city on a hill cannot be hidden and our light can shine to the whole world.

I'm Spent

Let me tell you, I have spent a very very very LARGE portion of my day doing various school related work stuffs and I am spent. I'm done for the night. My brain has left the building.

It's amazing to me the way God has been revealing himself to me the past few days whether it has been through quality quiet time, Metro meeting, conversations that last into the wee hours of the morning, or simply waking up with a feeling of excitement and peace, He is constantly showing himself to me.

I guess it's true that when you draw close to God, he will draw close to you.

This past week or so I have had this bubbling ball of Jesus deep inside me that is has filled me with such a joy.

Ok seriously...I'm tired...and going to bed...

B is for Bouncy

BROOKE

B is for Bouncy
R is for Radiant
O is for Optimistic
O is for Openhearted

K is for Kind
E is for Exquisite

What Does Your Name Mean?

Tai Chi--not Chai Tea

Have I mentioned that I got the most beautiful and inspirational calendar on Monday.

Well I did and today's inspiration was "Welcome a new facet of yourself." So I went throughout my entire day wondering what I would end up discovering about myself and was growing deathly worried that my day would go by without my coming upon anything new and interesting.

Then I learned Tai Chi...well sort of. My RA had a program about relaxation tonight and upon going I learned to "center my Chi" and "feel my Chi" and sorts of other "Chi" related things. I couldn't help smiling...I think I just like the word Chi.

It was actually pretty cool though, I would probably go again, or maybe take the class. It was just something different, something I had never done and, hey, it was fun.

This would be better worded and more elaborate I am sure, but it's late and I have been vegging out to TV for the past few hours. But I shall share some humor with you.

"I spit...and I'm happy" Colin Mockery

"I'm not cool, I don't wear jeans" Lisa Simpson

"Esta mi el Zorro" Wayne Brady

"I'll be cooking my Lean Cuisine in your kiln tonight" Willy from the Simpsons

"Did you see that? That's not baby fat...that's permanent" Connie's dad regarding Bobby Hill

It's Flipping Beautiful

I just want to say that today was an absolutely beautiful day.

A clear blue sky and bright shining sun.

It's one of those days that makes things seem to come back to life; where you purposely take the long way of walking somewhere just to be outside. People are out walking and running, or sitting and studying outside. You can see their faces because they aren't covered from head to toe trying to avoid the negative million degree weather.

It was beautiful. A day that you could just take a deep breath of, a day that invigorated (and rejuvinated) every sense.

We took a wonderful and l o n g, leisurely walk down Eden's Terrace, back around the lake and back up Sumter. On the way we followed an old couple, saw a guy playing the drums to an audience of ducks, talked to kids, pet a dog, and watched a sunset that looked like this. When we got back to Dinkins we laid in the grass for awhile.

I feel so refreshed. And its absolutely wonderful.

God is soo amazing.


There is something very collegiate about wearing flip flops and sweaters together.

More Old Testament Inspiration

"Whether it was two days or a month or a long time that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, resting upon it, the Isrealites would remain in camp and not set out, but when it was lifted, they would set out"
Numbers 9:22

Since about 10th grade I have been pretty sure that God was calling me to be a youth minister. It started more or less because I was mad that my church never really had an active youth group and definitely never had a youth minister and upon going to friends youth groups and coming more into the understanding of the need for good youth ministers I figured it was a good plan of action. Then once I started working at camp and then E-team and being in actual ministry positions, I was hooked and felt a much stronger calling towards youth ministry.
Well for the first few years I was kind of locked into the idea of being the standard youth minister for some youth group at some church, and if that ends up being the position that God calls me towards then awesome I will do it with a joyful heart, but within the past year I have had this feeling of something BIGGER.

However, God being the joker that He is, hasn't quite revealed what that something is. Several different paths have been laid on my heart and sparked my interest. One such path is still very much youth ministry but rather than on the church level it would be more on a director kind of level. Like being a retreat coordinator or getting involved with some organization that sponsers different youth events (like Cultivation Ministries or something). Then there has been the kind of farfetched idea of being a motivational speaker of sorts, you know, going around and giving talks, particularly on purity (a la Jason Evert). Of course there is also my goal of writing my book one day, which while it wouldn't neccesarily be targeted towards solely youth, it would be relevant.

Since about October though, I have had this very strong desire to do some kind of mission work, something more than just organizing talks and meetings, but outreach. It started by flipping through a book at the state Catholic student retreat that was full of different organizations and missions around the country and the world. I felt very inspired by it all, and for the first time felt like God might be calling me to do something not-standard with my life, something that would involve a lot of going around and just purely doing his work a life that didn't quite include the husband and kids that I had always forseen in my future. It was crazy, but at the same time really cool to think about.

The idea of doing some mission work within the next few years (not neccesarily as a career though) is still very much on my heart and was sparked even more so this past week at Cru when a guy named Will came and talked about summer projects and other missions sponsered through Campus Crusade. That night had a quote and the next day I found the verse I posted above and they very much went hand in hand.

The quote was: "Working for God is not a job, it's an adventure."

The reason why both struck me so strongly is because they got me thinking about what my life would be like if God took me on some crazy life adventure just full or ministering to people and doing his work. You know, the kind of people who just have really adventure filled life, who have been all over and have great stories...that's the kind of life I was thinking about. Just letting God take the keys and take me wherever He wanted, when he wanted.

That's, in a way, they way they Isrealites were. Whether it was a few days or a few months they came and went as God directed them and their lives centered around His timing.

Ahh Ahh Amazing. What fun.

God puts you were He needs you when He needs you to be there.

Inspiration from Leviticus

I came across the most wonderful verse about a week and a half ago while reading through Leviticus. It said:

"I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect." (Leviticus 26:13)

Wow.

A lot of times, when we are going through a rough time, or feeling axious, worried, frustrated, overloaded, or a multitude of other burdening emotions, we turn to particular comfort verses. Verses like "Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:1-2) and "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own" (Matthew 6:34). And don't get me wrong, these verses are beautiful and very much a comfort in our times of need. But a lot of times our worries come from needing to let go and that is why this particular verse is so beautiful.

Think about what worrying, frustration, and anger can do . They pull us away from God, they make us act differently towards those people around us, and most noticably they put a chip on our shoulder.

Think about it.

When you're upset, worried, frustrated it shows physically. You walk with your shoulders slumped and a frown on your face. You look down instead of ahead, and you tend to be more lathargic and less inclined to do what needs to be done.

However, once whatever burden we are carrying is releaved, we walk as if a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. We can once again breath and get back to our business.

That is what God can do for us when we are willing to just let go of whatever we are holding on to that pulls us down. With God, through our full reliance on Him, we can walk erect. We can face the world with our shoulders back, chest out, and a smile on.

That's glorious if you ask me.

Just Shake Your Rump

There are plenty of things that I am not good at, and I can now add shaking my butt to the list. Upon going to Cardio Dance last night and learning combinations that required forementioned butt shaking, I found myself faced with a moral dilemma. Not only can I not physically bring myself to effectively shake my butt, I do not feel comfortable with the entire idea surrounding such butt shaking. So, I didn't and I just sort of wiggled awkwardly until the next step.

I can however, rhumba, and that is exciting.

a quick follow up

Concerning the previous entry entitled "Love is in the Details".

I would just like to point out...in case my entry sort of hinted otherwise, that the love of which I spoke is not limited to a romantic kind of love. Nor was it intended to really address that but I suppose when trying to draw examples from society's messages that is sort of what you end up with, plus I like to quote mary kate and ashley movies (5 points to whoever gets that reference and posts it). Rather, I wanted to touch on the common courtesy kind of love, the friendship kind of love, and just the simple kind of love we can all experience on a daily basis.

thank you
-the management

and i'm serious about the 5 point thing

me and SUPER Steve

me and the fabulous petra

staff reunion

Love is in the Details

I was supposed to have class at 9 o'clock this morning, but after venturing over to Thurmond and getting notice that my class will not meet until Wednesday morning at 9, I have found myself all dressed up with no place to go. Therefore, I decided I should make my valiant return to my reading public and grace you with my thoughts for the moment.

Love is in the details.

The first time I heard that, well read it, was about a year or so ago in one of the BibleGeek's weekly emails. Since then it has been one of my favorite little phrases and its truth is revealed more and more to me. So, lets talk about love.

I think that in today's society, while everyone, at least in my opinion, has this longing for a greater kind of love that "can't eat, can't sleep, over the fence, world series kinda thing", very few are willing to wait for it and work for it.

I think a majority of the problem is the everyone is caught up in the feeling of love, the strictly noun version of the word or the verbal proclamation of love and forget that love is a verb, it is something that must be acted out on a daily basis.

Most people want the fairy tale, over the top kind of love...the kind that comes from every romantic comedy, romance novel, and even yes, fairy tales. Women, in particular, are waiting for their prince charming to come (which isn't completely bad) and profess his undying love in some huge romantic gesture. While these huge romantic gestures can be rather flattering and chocked full of good, loving intentions, when I think to moments that mean the most to me, things that really made me think about love, its the small things.

Love is in the details.

Think of the little things people have done that really stick out. It's the things like, remembering what classes you are taking or your favorite candy or mentioning something you brought up in a conversation. It's taking some of your favorite memories you mentioned in normal conversation and putting them into a song. It's sending you a little note (or in this day and age IM) wishing you to have a good day. It's paying attention to the things about ourselves that we often don't notice, that when they do go noticed, that make love happen...it's the details.

Therefore if God is love and love is in the details, God is particularly fond of details himself.

Of course there are the typical verses about how He knit us in the womb and knows every hair on our heads, but something that I am coming to learn is just how vast and detailed God's plan is for each and everyone of us.

Getting out of the egocentric aspect though, go outside and look around you...the earth we live on is a rather complex and beautiful thing, full of details. Every cloud in the sky that has the potential to bring a rain storm, every vein in every leaf on every tree is an amazing little system of channels that will feed the plant itself, the endless spectrum of colors found in a garden of flowers, the list goes on and on. Everything, not just us humans, is beautifully and amazingly made and if God cares THAT much to design every little aspect and facet of all creation in such a detailed form, I don't think it would hurt any of us to pay a little more attention to these details. Not just the details of the world around us, but the details in each other. Get specific and get love.

St. Theresa

St. Theresa's Prayer:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactlywhere you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the lovethat has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

.Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul thefreedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one ofyou.

Message from the Bible Geek

Just pray, and realize that if you accomplished “nothing else” this day…you will still have accomplished a great deal. God is closer than you realize at this moment. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).

-just a little message from the Bible Geek...check him out on Lifeteen.com and keep a prayerful heart this day and everyday.

Gettin' Sumthin

The response I get from a two-year-old when telling her to get her finger out of her nose:

"I'm just gettin' something."

Bad Popcorn

I don't think I have ever had bad popcorn, until tonight.

It's 11 o'clock and after exhausting myself with The Great SweeTart Debate, I come to my room looking for a little snack.

Popcorn sounds good, well I didn't say it and it doesn't make a noise until after you already start popping it, but you know what I mean. So I pop my popcorn, grab a handful and am quite distraught to discover it's just not that good.

I am hypothesizing it's because it's old and the butter had gone some kind of bad because it just doesn't taste right.

I am still hungry and I am still eating the bad popcorn.

I really should head to bed sometime soon, I actually do have an exam tomorrow and need to be all well rested and refreshed for that. I am really not that worried about it. It's CTQR and I haven't made anything less than a 90 on the tests and I studied about three hours this afternoon, so I think I am good.

I was reading through Acts 15 today and I came across a verse that I found particularly encouraging. It said:

"And God, who knows the human heart, testified to them by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us, and in cleansing their hearts by faith he has made no distinction between them and us." -verse 8

One thing that I really stuggle with is a feeling of inadequacy and constantly comparing myself to others who I find to be stronger, smarter, or better than I am in whatever way, particularly spiritually. A lot of times I will find myself focusing so much on the attributes I admire in them and wishing I could acquire the same gifts, thus completely disregarding and paying no attention to the gifts God has blessed me with.

This verse though, is like God leveling the playing field, saying that there is no class system or hierarchy amongst believers. That no one person is better than anyone else, just different. The different gifts in the body are something God has been making me aware of the past few months since I have been at school.

I am just coming into realizing that gifts come in so many shapes and forms and not everyone is meant to have the same gifts. God designed each and every one of us with a particular skill and gift to offer in order to follow His command and expand His kingdom. I love when I gain some kind of inkling of knowledge of God's big ol' plan for it all.

I am probably not going to bed, but I will leave it here for tonight.

I can't sleep so I am writing This

I'm not tired, and I'm not sure why, but I feel like writing...maybe it will help me sleep.

I am coming to recognize a fear I have.

I fear meaningless relationships.

I don't mean that in the sense of a phobia type fear where I am deathly afraid of people with whom I have no meaningful, close, personal connection, but rather I fear being involved in a relationship that was at once thought to be meaningful but that later would prove itself not to be so.

Don't let anything you say be a line!

I guess a lot of this fear, or rather what would cause a relationship to prove itself meaningless is for there to be a lack a genuiness in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. I suppose personally the fear comes from my idealistic belief that every relationship should be different and unique and it is when we start to treat all relationships the same they lose their meaning.

It's like, you know how you have a good memory or experience with someone and in a weird and childish sort of jealous way you don't want them to have that same kind of experience with anyone else. That's what I fear. I repetition of my memories with someone else.

Maybe it's just me.

I just know I place a lot of value on the relationships I have with people and it kills me to think others don't place the same value on the relationships they have with me.

I'm going to go lay down now, it's late, or rather, early....

Encouragement

So today I was reading through Acts 14 and I came across this verse that I found particularly inspiring:

"There they strengthened the souls of the disciples and encouraged them to continue in the faith, saying 'It is through many persecutions that we must enter the kingdom of God."
-verse 22

Now keep in mind, this is after Paul was stoned in Lystra and dragged out of the city thought to be dead, and he still continues on his journey and is encouraging others!

Paul amazes me. Really.

One thing I have been coming to realize lately is that importance of encouraging one another. It's kind of funny, as I was reading this verse I realized my bookmark has 1 Thessalonians 5:11 on it which says "Encourage one another and build each other up." Think maybe this is what God wanted me to learn today?

But seriously, I have always enjoyed encouraging people and making them smile on just a regular basis, but it is as of late that I have been realizing the importance to encourage people in their faith. It is a role that God calls us to play and it is acted out so beautifully by Paul throughout the book of Acts.

I don't really have anything eloquent to say on this at the moment, but it's just the simple realization of something small that we can all do to help build up God's kingdom.

Therefore, to all reading this:
I encourage you to keep on keeping on.
I encourage you to seek out God's will and to open your hearts to Him.
I encourage you to smile, laugh, and find joy.
I encourage you to invest in others.
I encourage you to say thank you to the cafeteria workers and the lady who cleans our bathrooms.
I encourage you to pray, and talk to God as a friend, buddy-buddy.
I encourage you to listen to happy music.
I encourage you to read children's poetry and relish in Dr. Seuss.
I encourage you to color, to dance, and to sing at the top of your lungs.
I encourage you stop and watch clouds.
I encourage you to be bold, and to speak out for what you believe in.
I encourage you to do what is right.
I encourage you to think.
I encourage you to notice the little things.
I encourage you to spend more time thanking God for the millions of blessings He has given rather than asking Him for things that we probably don't even need.
And in the spirit of it being finals week, I encourage you to study (like I'm not doing right now)

Obedience

Lately I have been working my way through the books of Exodus and Acts, and if there is one message that rings loud and clear throughout my readings thus far, it's obedience.

Moses, to say the least, was a rather obedient lil fella. I mean he wasn't exactly keen on the entire confronting Pharaoh and freeing the Isrealites, but he knew that it was his job to follow God's command. It amazes me how many times throughout the story of Moses it just outright says "Moses and Aaron did just as the Lord commanded."

How amazing is that, no ifs, ands, or, buts, or hesitations about just purely and simply carrying out God's command. And it wasn't just one time. It was each and every time God came up with a new way to prove himself to Pharaoh that Aaron and Moses were just like "OK-let's go." It's exciting.

The Apostles were no different as you go through Acts--they were simply carrying out the same command we are all called to do which is to spread the Good News of Jesus. And in many ways the Apostles were facing just as much opposition as Aaron and Moses. But regardless of what forces opposed them, they were obedient, and that is amazing.

Sometimes I am not very obedient.

I guess, in the worldly sense I am. I mean, as far as following rules go, I can do that. I didn't break curfew or backtalk to my mom. I wasn't a regular in detention (although I did land myself in there twice in middle school--once because wearing beaded necklaces was against uniform policy and I argued it was hindering my individuality) and my conscience wouldn't let me skip school (even though I had no qualms about getting "personal field trip forms" to stay home or go to Durham :) ). But in general, I wasn't blatantly going against any preestablished commandments just for the heck of it.

When it comes to God, however, sometimes I'm not such a good kid. There are times when I try to quiet God's voice so I can go along my merry way or when I gossip or lie or get angry or stress and worry that just keep me from following the commands God has laid out.

In Exodus 19:5-6 it says:
"Now therefore, if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples. Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation."

Now how stupid am I do deny myself being God's "treasured possession" because 9 times out of 10 I just don't feel like being obedient? I'm telling you, human nature makes us kind of stupid sometimes.

I feel like though, the biggest way that I am disobeying God in my life right now, is just by not trusting in Him and surrending every aspect of my life to Him.

I worry. I'm petty. I allow myself to get upset over things I shouldn't care about. Why? Because I am not trusting God the way I should be. Matthew 6:25-34 sums it all up perfectly saying "do not worry about your life" (25) and "indeed your heavenly Father knows what you need" (32).

I need to "seek first the kingdom of God" (33), I believe that it is then I will be spared falling victim to the stupider portion of the human emotional spectrum.

What a Kid

What a kid


If I ever need a good laugh, this kid is a good source...and the watermelon on his head is not even the funniest thing he ever did. Check out his song....

If youre sitting on the john and the toilet paper's gone
Friends are there to help you
If you fall on your face and it's a big disgrace
Friends are there to help you
If youre digging in a hole and you find a dead mole
Friends are there to help you (bury it)
If youre making a shirt and you start to flirt
Friends are there to help you
If a girls so hot that she melts your snot
Friends are there to help you

It goes on and on...now you guys make up verses and post them!

Blissfully Unproductive

After a rousing game of kickball at midnight with a bunch of the Crusade kids on Thursday, someone suggested something to the effect that college should consist of hanging out, a Interpersonal Relationships 101 sort of thing. Wouldn't that be nice.

This past weekend was probably the closest I will ever get to that sort of the arrangement. I did absolutely nothing productive all weekend, and yes, it was nice.

In reality my weekend basically started Thursday night, seeing as how I skipped my 10 o'clock class on Friday morning, and made a brief appearance at Math at 12 to go over the troublesome mathematic concepts of mean, median, and mode (and yes, I am paying money to learn this). And that was the extent of my productivity.

Friday well afternoon we went and saw The Incredibles, then Zaxby's for dinner, and on to the Roasting Company for Rique's band's show. Each and every facet of that was molto bene. After that Erica, her friend Erin, and I went to Richardson and watched The Secret Window with some of the boys from BCM.

Saturday I slept in, which is rare for me, and didn't even care that I woke up at 11:40, got some food and then watched the Clemson/Carolina game with a bunch of the girls on the floor in Reagan and Amy's room. That was fun, let me tell you, and even more fun when you aren't emotionally attached to either team and can just add funny commentary at all the appropriate moments. Then Sarah, Shannon and I went to Jessica, Leslie, and Sarah's house, picked up Leslie and visited Jessica at work in Tega Cay. She works at Cliffard's Cafe and the pizza there is quite good. After that, it was movie night (again)--Meet the Parents and Raising Helen...good times.

I must say Sunday was even less productive. Another lazy morning, one of the advantages of going to church at night. I really didn't do much, I went to dinner with KTB, Reagan, Amy, Sabrina, and Erica then off to church with Sarah...It was good times.

After church I unfortunately had to do the one piece of homework, reading a chapter in Government, which took me four hours, because I was allowing myself plenty of distractions.

Wow, this was an incredibly boring entry. So I will leave with this one final thought.

I am coming to realize more and more, that any time is better spent in the presence of good company. Whether its a much needed break from studying in the wee hours of the morning, a good conversation (even if it is only on AIM), or just hanging out...good company is essential and God has blessed me with good people here. Yeah...in the words of Maggie, good company is "mentally and spiritually rejuvinating"

I promise next time will be something slightly more intriguing

Priceless

God's Team

"After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him 'Follow me.' And he got up, left everything, and followed him. Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house; and there was a large crowd of tax collectors and others sitting at the table with them. The Pharisees and their scribes were complaining to his disciples saying, 'Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?' Jesus answered, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentence.'" -Luke 5:27-32

If you quiet yourself, and look into your heart and see sin, brokenness, incompleteness, inadequacies, failure, ugliness...Rejoice...God is calling you. Because "Jesus is not looking for people who have something to offer. He is looking for people who are willing to accept His offer and follow Him."

God so much desires to use us. To do great things through us. We just have to get up and go.

I think sometimes my problem is, I desire to do great things, I honestly have heart to serve God in a big way, but that so often I loose focus on the little great things that happen or that I could do everyday.

I want to invest in people the way God invests in me. More than just holding doors and flashing a smile, but talking to people, getting to know them, and find out where they are with God. Even if its not finding out where they are with God, just finding out how they are doing. really.

Talking, real conversation, not just small talk, is so important.

Too many people lack people who care about them. I am incredibly blessed. I have an amazing community of people who love me and who I love dearly. People who "have nothing better to do than worry about [me]" ( I told you I would quote you dear!). People who really care. Its an amazing thing to know you are blessed with love.

I am tired.

Oh yeah, by the way, God's been talking to me again...it's good times.

Jordan Posted

Aww...it really makes my day

HuG

Stagnant

"Because, I got to get out of here/ I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake/ I got to get out of here/ And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape" - "Be My Escape" Relient K

Man, I am in such a weird place with God right now, and the worst part is, I don't even know how I got here. It is like it just blindsided me one idle Tuesday night that I am nowhere near where I should be in my faith and that for the life of me I CAN'T HEAR GOD. He is being so quiet right. And it has been awhile now.

And it's not just hearing God, it's feeling Him. Feeling His presence in my heart and in the world around me.

I know, that faith cannot be a feeling. That we all must go through valleys and dark nights in order to truly appreciate and understand all the amazing and beautiful things God has done for us, and to recognize our own inability to accomplish anything and our desperate need to cling to His strength, but for crying out loud...give me something to feel.

What scares me is that I feel so stagnant--in a rut--apathetic almost. And I hate it. And what I hate more is that I recognize all these feelings, and no matter how much I am praying about them I don't seem to feel any different. It's like I know God is there, that He has some amazing truth to reveal to me, and an awesome plan laid out for me, but for right now, I just feel inadequate.

I feel like I am doing nothing to serve God with my life. Like I have no ministry, no outlet through which to spread the Word of God and to do His will and share his Love. And when I pray, it's not the same peace I used to find.

It's all so very hard to explain, especially because I know that it is all a matter of patience and willingness to seek God despite His being quiet.

I am part of the problem.

Because of this weird state, I have not been spending the time with God that I know I need to be in order to get back on track with Him, in order to best prepare myself for the things He will say when He once again puts His voice in my ear. I need to center myself on His Word, and make my heart vulnerable to His will.

Perhaps though, He is almost ready to speak, because in the past few weeks God has been laying things on my heart and giving me an insight that I never had before. I am coming to realize just how huge prayer is, and how persistent we MUST be in our conversations with God. I am digging into God's Word, looking for answers. I am aware of the blessings God has placed in my life, especially by means of relationships. I am basking in God's beauty in the world He created. I feel called to speak out for purity and life. The list is forever growing. And it's invigorating. I am once again starting to feel a call and enthusiasm for ministry, for action, for something.



I don't think I will ever quite understand God.


I guess that's ok.




Things are looking up. And maybe if I would look up a little more, I would see things more clearly.

Election Day Hooplah

Well the Redskins lost their last homegame before the election so Bush is doomed to loose I suppose. Such is not the case, in fact, he is ahead in the game right now 207 to 199 Electorial votes, with a strong hold in several of the reamaining states.

I must admit this makes me rather happy, I did in fact vote for Bush, even though in all reality I don't truly think either candidate is the best choice, nor can I say I fully support eithers platform completely, but I went with some moral convictions on this one. I feel better with Bush in office, I don't trust Kerry. But the election aside....

Today has been a fantastic day, tis true, tis very true.

First off--No Class, which was much needed. That of course led to sleeping in a bit and enjoying a long shower to start the day off. Lunch followed and what is more, Thompson had sprinkles for the ice cream--yessah, that makes it a good day.

However, I would say really the highlight of my day was getting the new Relient K CD. Oh man, the lyrics absolutely blow me away. The album, overall, has a much harder sound and is definitely more mature than all their other stuff. No goofy songs on this CD, and for those who liked them based mainly on their sense of humor, probably will not care for this CD. I however, enjoy it enough to have listened to it 9 times already today.

Molto Bene.

(no subject)

I feel like writing but I really dont have anything to say right now, or at least not anything that I feel will be productive to any of the current situations competing for interests in my brain at the moment.

I really fear for our country.

I was reading some articles today about the Osama bin Laden tape from Friday and I have a feeling something is going to happen, and soon.

What is must be like in the mind of a terrorist? It's really quite scary. I mean seriously, September 11th was beautifully organized and executed. The man does not lack intelligence, and what is worse is he has so much anger towards America that he will stop at no end to make it known. And it's not like he cares if he dies doing it, as Professor Belk said in Government today, "Its like a job opening amongst drug dealers"--there will always be someone ready to fill in the vacancy.

It's kind of hard to believe that people are intrinsically good if there is a whole nation of people full of so much Hate. But in a sense, we Americans are just as guilty of another sin of Pride.

It's all quite complicated and it's really quite late and my head hurts.

We really need to pray for our country, and for its leaders regardless of who wins the election. No so much for God to make things change, but for the ability to endure.

And I thought I had nothing to say.